


Waypoint

by Hopelesslyscattered



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 05:41:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 60,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5731513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopelesslyscattered/pseuds/Hopelesslyscattered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gail Peck meets Dr Holly Stewart, Ottawa's top forensic pathologist on a plane on the way to a crime conference in NYC. In a rather un-Gail-Peck-like manner, Gail makes fast friends with Holly, whose easy going attitude doesn't for once put the blonde off. When Gail feels herself letting down her guard, things start to get a bit complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.

“Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Sorry for the inconvenience. We’re loading the last of the passengers now. We should be off soon. Thank you for your patience.”

The intercom squealed as he disconnected. Gail flinched in irritation at the sound, sinking down in her seat. She was regretting agreeing to this already, and she hadn’t even gotten there yet. She had agreed to be 15 divisions liaison at this conference, well more like her mother had offered her up to Frank. She was expendable anyway, not a real needed member of the team, and someone had to go to sit through meeting and lectures on new techniques and forensics. It might as well be her. At least she got a free trip to New York City out of it. 

“Excuse me?”

Gail opened her eyes. Standing over her was a woman. She was tall and slender with long brown hair. She smiled down at Gail with a kind but crooked smile. She pushed her glasses up on her nose, almost nervously. 

Gail sat up quickly. “Yeah?”

The woman gestured towards the empty window seat beside Gail. “I believe that’s my seat.”

“Oh!” Gail exclaimed, grabbing her carryon bag, which she had haphazardly flung into the vacant seat. “Sorry.”

The woman smiled again as Gail stood up to let her past. “Don’t be sorry.”

They sat there in mulled silence for a while. They waited and waited and waited for something to happen, but the plane remand motionless still attached to the airport terminal. 

Eventually after being side-eyed for a full ten minutes with seemingly no end in site, the woman beside her turned to look at her. Gail ignored her.

“Think we’ll ever make it off the ground at this rate?” The sudden question made Gail jump. 

She shrugged and kind of grunted in answer, taking hold of the air mall magazine and flipping aimlessly through it. Gail hated being sat beside someone who wanted to talk all flight. It was annoying. All she ever wanted to do was plug her headphones in and read her book. This woman seemed like she was going to be a chatterer so far. 

The intercom sounded suddenly again with a wail. They both flinched. 

“Attention passengers, we are experiencing some difficulties with the navigation system that will delay our take off time. We appreciate your patience in this matter. Hopefully we’ll be leaving soon. Thank you.”

Another screech. 

Gail and the woman groaned at the same time. They glanced at each other briefly before Gail glanced away again. 

“What they need to fix is that stupid intercom,” Gail remarked, “It sounds like a dying cat.”

The woman agreed. “At this rate by the time we actually get off the ground, we’ll all be deaf anyway.”

Gail caught her eye, and they laughed. Gail had never met a stranger that had actually agreed with her normally cross personality. It was refreshing to meet someone she didn’t instantly put off. 

The woman stuck out her hand, “Holly Stewart.”

And in a rather un-Gail-like manner, she grasped the hand. “Gail Peck.”

“So what do you do Gail Peck?” Holly said turning in her seat to lean back against the window. She drew her leg up on the seat to sit partially cross-legged. “Intercom policing?”

“Oh yes, I regularly arrest people for improper use of sound systems,” Gail said. She turned so they were facing each other. “But actually, you’re half right.”

Holly’s face scrunched in a very adorable confused face. “You work with intercoms?”

“Holly, no,” Gail said, shaking her head. “I’m a police officer.”

Why would she tell this stranger that? Sure, Holly had asked, but she had never been that forth coming with answers to other people’s questions before now. 

Holly’s face lit up. “Oh, you must be heading to the conference then!”

The cop blinked. How in the hell could she know that? Her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward. 

“Holly, are you a stalker?” she said it as seriously as she could. 

Holly laughed again. It was a sound Gail found pleasant. “No, Officer. I’m a forensic pathologist.”

“Gesundheit.”

“I know you know what that is,” Holly said, “or else you’re a very poor police officer.”

Gail scowled. “I’m a great cop, thank you very much!”

“I’m sure you are, Gail.” From the tone, Holly truly believed that. 

“So that must make you a doctor, huh? All smart and nerdy and stuff?” Gail questioned. 

She’d always been fascinated by forensics to be honest. The blood and guts and people’s insides had always held a morbid intrigue to her. She told herself that was the only reason she was still talking to this woman. 

Holly seemed bemused by her descriptors. “And stuff.” 

“Very technical, nerd,” Gail said. She wondered how if Holly were in forensics in Toronto they had not met yet. While Toronto was a large city, they should have at least crossed paths. Of course there were thousands of members of just the police department itself so it would be hard to keep track of them all. Gail had a feeling though, she would have definitely remembered Holly if they had met before. 

“Just met and already you’ve given me a nickname,” the scientist said. She tilted her head to the side and pushed her glasses up her nose as she studied Gail. It was very much like being an experiment, and the woman beside her was looking for something, anything important. Gail didn’t feel very important at all. 

The intercom sounded again, causing them both to flinch. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the crew and I would like to thank you for your patience. Our navigation system has been restored. We will be leaving as soon as we get the go ahead by the tower. So if you would, please return to your seats, buckle your seat belts, place your tray tables in their up right and locked positions while our flight staff goes over the safety rules. Thank you again for your patience.”

Gail stuck her fingers in her ear as the captain went off. “Jesus Christ, just stop using the damn thing!”

The woman across the aisle scowled at her and held her hands over her toddler’s ears. In between them a male flight attendant stood holding a seat belt and an air mask. The intercom let out another dying squeal as his colleague started to explain how to use it. Gail and the woman ignored him, leaning back in their seats to glare at each other. 

“She doesn’t even know what those words mean,” Gail said, jutting her chin out in a challenge. 

“Doesn’t mean you have to say them, you know,” the mom snapped back. 

The flight attendant shot them both an uncomfortable look as he switched to showing them the oxygen masks. The woman on the intercom rattled on none the wiser. 

Gail lifted her hands to make a gesture the kid would definitely not know when warm hands stopped her suddenly. Holly raised an eyebrow at her in warning as she slowly pulled their joined hands into her lap. She leaned across Gail to apologize to the woman. 

The woman shook her head. “Your girlfriend is extremely rude. You could do better.”

Gail practically had whiplash from how fast she turned her head. She opened her mouth to say it was nothing like that, but Holly beat her to it. 

“I know. She’s just so pretty though,” she said with a wink. Gail flushed. Holly had called her pretty. She should be used to strangers calling her pretty, after all with her face it happened often enough that it had lost most of its meaning. Nevertheless, she could feel her face turning a bright red. 

The woman laughed and the anger seemed to just dissolve. She analyzed Gail’s face critically. “Yes, I guess so.”

Holly and the woman shared a smile before the woman turned back to her child who pulled at her arm. Holly sat back in her seat and let go of Gail’s hands. 

“What was that?” Gail asked. Holly seemed unfazed that the woman had thought they were together. She had so easily defused the situation with a smile and some charm. Gail could only ever make the situations worse. 

Holly shrugged. “Seemed like the best way to get you out of there without her launching herself across the aisle.”

“Did we have to be together?” Gail snapped. They barely even knew each other.

The intercom let out another screech as the demonstration was over, and the attendants returned to their own seats. 

Gail had hardly noticed though until the plane began to back up. There was a collective cheer around the cabin by all except Holly and Gail who were still looking at each other. Holly’s smile had dropped. She fidgeted and pushed her glasses up, but her gaze dropped to her hands in her lap. 

“Oh,” she said simply, glancing out the window as the plane began taxying. 

Gail realized how that sounded. She hadn’t meant it like that. She was just thrown by Holly letting that woman believe that they were together and annoyed she hadn’t been able to tell her off. She had obviously hit some kind of nerve with Holly. Of course, already fucking up what she hoped was a friendship at its start. Did she hope this was some sort of friendship? She must be on something. She had to fix this. She had to let this woman know they weren’t going to be friends.

She reached out and grabbed Holly’s hand. She had never been this touchy-feely with a practical stranger before. Instinctually however, she felt the unwavering need to reach out to the other woman. “Holly, no, I didn’t mean...I was just annoyed with this whole trip. It had nothing to do with you. I’d be lucky to date someone like you.”

There was a smile stuck on Gail’s face that she wasn’t sure how it had gotten there. Sure her brain had to send signals to her muscles to make that facial expression, but she was sure her brain hadn’t been the one to send them. 

That hadn’t been the way to distance herself from the other woman. That hadn’t been the way she meant that little speech to go. She was supposed to put Holly down in a harsh, but realistic way and bask in the silent plane ride for the next hour and a half. 

Holly turned both eyebrows raised. “Who said I’d want to date you, Gail Peck?”

Gail laughed. Holly seemed to have regained her composure, taking her sarcastic gut reaction more in stride. It was something not everyone could do. That impressed Gail at least. “Of course, I’d be totally wrong for you. My last relationship blew up in my face.”

Holly leaned back towards her. “How so?”

“Well I…”

Woah, what was she doing? Why was she about to tell this stranger a highly personal story about her breakup? No, she was going to tell Holly to mind her own business, but before she could the plane started moving faster. The wind outside grew to a roar as they began to race down the runway. Gail sank back into her seat, going rigid. She always forgot how much she hated flying until the plane was taking off. She gripped the armrests so tightly her knuckles were white. Her eyes snapped closed, and she held her breath. 

Until a hand rested on top of her own, fingers wrapping around to pry it off of the armrest. She peeked over at Holly as she gave a reassuring squeeze. 

It wasn’t until they reached cruising altitude that Gail could breathe normally again without sounding like she was about to hyperventilate. She felt dizzy.

“You alright?” Holly said, her eyes soft and concerned. Where Gail’s friends would have taunted her with her fears, Holly seemed only concerned for her well-being. There was no comment on the tough Gail Peck being afraid of flying. She felt a swell of affection she didn’t even want for this new friend. Why did she keep calling her that?

Gail nodded a bit more than necessary. The plane rattled a bit as it hit some turbulence. She inhaled and exhaled slowly. She fucking hated flying. 

“Hey, it’s alright,” Holly whispered, “There’s only a 1 in 11 million chance of dying in a plane crash.” 

“With my luck, I’d be the one,” she muttered. She scrunched her eyes shut and tried to think of something less scary: sharks, centipedes, flying ninja stars. 

“Could be worse,” Holly remarked, leaning back in her seat. She was still holding Gail’s hand, though Gail’s grip was considerably less deadly than it had been. The blonde decided she would allow herself to take a moment to feel a bit more grounded before she let go. It had been a long time since she had held anyone’s hand. Then she’d tell this woman off in someway that would force her to leave the blonde alone. 

“How?” Gail questioned. 

Holly gave her that lopsided smile and shrugged. “Could be killer sharks.”

Gail let out a bark of a laugh as Holly started humming the theme to Jaws. 

“I like the way you think, Stewart,” she said, squeezing Holly’s hand.

Holly glanced down at them. “You think I can have that back now?”

Gail blushed and immediately let go. “Oh, right, sorry, I didn’t…”

The brunette stretched out her fingers for a moment, massaging her joints before she reached out and grabbed Gail’s hand back. “It’s fine, Gail. I was just losing a bit of feeling from your death grip there.”

She squeezed their hands. “You can hold my hand all flight if it makes you feel better.”

Gail wasn’t used to feeling that rush in her stomach that came with those words. It was a feeling she wasn’t sure she should be having. No, this wasn’t supposed to be happening. What on earth was she doing?

“Is this how you pick up all the ladies?” she remarked with a smirk as Holly practically choked on air in surprise. That’s it drive her away. 

She turned to Gail in surprise, her eyebrow rising. She asked rather daringly, “And what if it is?” 

Gail, if nothing else, liked the gall of the doctor, so she asked a question she knew would surprise her. “So you’re a lesbian then?”

If she was surprised, Holly didn’t show it. Her gaze was challenging instead. “Yes, I am. Is that a problem for you?”

Gail’s smile softened. “Not a problem at all.”

Well that hadn’t worked well at driving her away now had it?

Holly’s face lit up. She opened her mouth to say something when the flight attendant interrupted her.

“Would either of you care for a beverage?” she asked, gesturing to the cart she was pushing. 

“Water, please,” Holly said. She was so cheerful and open to everyone. It was a bit unsettling to Gail. She had never met anyone who was as charismatic and friendly as Holly. Except maybe Chloe, but where Chloe’s enthusiasm with life bugged Gail, Holly’s seemed, against her better judgment, to be growing on the blonde. 

She realized suddenly that she had been staring at Holly and the flight attendant was still waiting for her answer. She blinked a few times, before she put on an actual smile, though it may have looked more like a grimace, as she requested a coke. 

For the rest of the flight, which was quite short for air travel, she and Holly talked. Gail couldn’t seem to stop herself. There was something about Holly that made her want to tell her things. Maybe it was her friendly open face. Maybe it was her lopsided smile. The cop wasn’t sure. Now though she was beginning to really get to know the scientist.

Holly wasn’t, as it turned out, a forensic pathologist in Toronto. She lived in Ottawa. This was her second flight of the day, a connector from Ottawa to NYC. She told her a funny story of her two-hour layover and how she had gotten so into her book that she had almost missed the boarding. 

Gail teased her relentlessly as she produced the book in question: Game of Thrones. Holly defended herself, saying if Gail had ever watched the HBO show, she would understand. Gail was skeptical, but promised if she had the chance she’d watch at least one or two episodes when she got home. 

They talked so long about anything and everything and nothing at all that before they knew it, the intercom squealed again, causing them both to jump as the attendants announced they were on final approach to NYC. 

Gail and Holly buckled their seat belts. The blonde’s head sank back into her headrest as she took a large, deep breath. Her hands gripped at the armrests tightly, and she shut her eyes, trying to imagine herself anywhere but here. 

Holly’s hand rested on top of hers once again and her voice said softly in her ear, “Just breathe.” 

Gail swallowed hard as she nodded. As her stomach dropped with the falling altitude, she latched her fingers around Holly’s palm. “Jesus Christ.”

The plane jolted as the wheels touched down. Gail’s whole body went rigid. She gritted her teeth right until they slowed to taxying speed. 

Holly’s thumb ran across the blonde’s knuckles soothingly. When Gail peeked over at the scientist, she was smiling reassuringly at her. 

Gail tried to make her body relax, though it was difficult. She glared at Holly. “You aren’t allowed to make fun of me for this.”

The brunette placed her free hand over her heart. “I promise to never bring this fear up again.”

Gail’s eyes narrowed as she analyzed the sincerity in the other woman’s words. Deciding even with her amused smile that Holly actually meant it, she nodded. “Good.”

She ignored how the promise of “again” made her want to smile. 

The intercom made them both jump again. Gail was so ready to never hear that shrill sound again. If she had her gun, she would have shot every single speaker in this compartment. 

“Ladies and gentleman, welcome to New York City. Thank you for flying with Air Canada. Welcome to New York City! We hope you have a pleasant day!” 

People started to stand. Gail jerked her head towards the now open compartment door. “Come on, I need a drink.”

“Already asking me for drinks, Officer? You do move fast,” Holly said as she stood, ducking down because she was too tall to stand fully upright under the overhead compartments. 

Gail smirked. “Well you certainly weren’t moving fast enough, Ms. Holding-Strangers-Hands.”

Gail grabbed her bag, and in a moment of chivalry snatched the doctor’s bag and tossed it over her shoulder as well. 

“Such a gentleman.”

“Shut up and buy me some tequila, nerdbian.”

Holly’s laugh echoed down the jet bridge.


	2. Chapter 2

Gail was impressed. This hotel was far nicer than she had expected for Toronto’s budget. It helped that it was the host hotel for their conference of course, so mostly all Gail would be seeing for the next three days was the inside of this building. Not exactly a vacation, but she wasn’t complaining because it was nice to get away from her hectic life. Nice to get away from the still lingering looks from her colleagues, the whispers of being the “cheater” or the “broken” woman whose boyfriend left her for Andy. It was nice to get away from her mother’s “I-told-you-so” smirks. 

She flopped down onto the bed. It was a king sized, so much better than her double back home in her cramped little room, which she was sure wasn’t supposed to really be a bedroom. She turned her head towards the window. Her bedroom certainly didn’t have this kind of view. Here, New York City stretched out before her with a perfect view down the avenue, bright billboards and car lights glinting as far as she could see. 

She had been here only one other time. In a rare move for control over her life, she had taken a vacation by herself in college. Her mother almost had a heart-attack at the thought of her traversing one of the busiest, most dangerous cities in the world on her own, but it had taught her some valuable lessons on taking care of herself. 

There was a knock on her door. Gail groaned as she forced her exhausted body up off the memory foam. 

Holly stood on the other side, her hair pulled up and damp. She had obviously decided a shower was in order before meeting for drinks. Gail frowned. How long had she been lying on her bed doing nothing?

Holly glanced down at her outfit, the same one she had been wearing on the plane, and then down at her own, which was a pair of tight black leggings with a loose white top. It looked good on her. 

“I see you’re ready,” Holly said, pushing her way past Gail and into the room. She flung herself onto the mattress, bouncing a bit at the force. “I’ll wait while you change.”

Gail scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. “And what if I wanted to go in this?”

Holly shrugged. “You’re the one that whined about getting out of those jeans. Or was that some sort of innuendo?”

The cop rolled her eyes. “You wish, Stewart.”

“Mmm,” Holly hummed, eyeing Gail in a way that made her stomach flutter. The blonde shoved Holly so she fell, sprawling out on the bed. Holly wiggled her eyebrows. “I see.”

Gail tapped her foot patiently until the playful look fell from Holly’s face.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting up again.

“Look, nerd, there’s some rules we need to go over,” Gail said. If they were going to be friends for this weekend there would need to be ground rules to follow. She didn’t want anyone, anyone being Holly of course, getting attached. She didn’t need a lesbian pining after her or anything. Not that she thought Holly would. She seemed far too cool for Gail Peck. 

Holly smiled that crooked smile, sinking back onto her elbows with a ‘really’ look on her face. “There are rules?”

“Of course, there are rules. I thought you were smart or something!” Gail said, ticking off on her fingers as she began to list. “Number one: no touching. Number two: seriously no touching. Number three: no phone number exchanging. Number four: No getting a crush on me. Which of course leads to five: no checking me out.”

Holly rolled her eyes and flopped back down onto her back. “Sure, Gail, whatever you say.”

“This is serious. woman!” The blonde stalked over to loom menacingly over Holly’s body. She didn’t see or expect the prod to the stomach until it happened. She squealed. 

Holly was laughing. “Does that count as touching?”

Gail ignored her, strutting over to her bag, rummaging around in it for a pair of black jeans and a black and white striped sweater. She grabbed her makeup bag and went into the large bathroom. 

It took only a little time to get ready. She figured she didn’t need to be perfect looking for simply going down to the hotel bar. She stepped back to study herself in the mirror. However, she did feel some need to look nice at least, if only to not look like crap compared to her beautiful new friend lying on her bed. 

When she emerged from the bathroom, Holly was just where she left her. Her eyes were closed, lying on her back, arms spread eagle on the bed. She was slowly rubbing her hands over the soft fabric of the comforter. She looked so peaceful. It made Gail envious of that kind of self-freedom. 

Gail approached her quietly, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Holly…”

Holly jumped, barely missing Gail’s head as she sat up in shock. She clutched at her racing heart, staring daggers at Gail, who was bent over double with laughter. 

“You should have seen your face,” she gasped, grasping at the stitch now forming in her sides.

“You’re such a jerk!” Holly exclaimed. She forced herself to her feet. “Come on, Barney Fife, I was promised alcohol.”

Gail watched as Holly crossed the room and held her door open for her. “Did you just call me Barney Fife?”

Holly smiled ushering her out the door. “Yes, yes, I did. Let me buy you a shot to make up for it.”

“You better.”

Once down at the bar, they perched on two bar stools. They both ordered two shots of tequila. Gail turned to her new friend, lifting her drink. Holly mirrored her.

“To new friends,” Holly said with her crooked smile. 

“To getting through this weekend without falling asleep while taking notes,” Gail said, clinking her glass with Holly’s. 

They tapped them on the bar, and downed them in one gulp. Laughing as the liquid burned, they took up their next shot. 

“To not getting fired,” Holly said. 

Gail giggled, the liquor spreading warmth through her limbs. She put on her best professional voice. “To gaining new insight on techniques and technology to further the policing and scientific knowledge of crime management.” 

Holly touched glasses, and they both drank their shot. Holly leaned across the bar to flag down the bartender as Gail turned to examine the people in the bar with them. They were mostly high-class business executives she imagined, though since the conference was being held she was sure a good portion was also higher ups in the policing community. She could spot instantly Holly’s people with their awkward nerd looks and inability to hold other people’s eye contact. Gail glanced back at Holly, who was talking animatedly with the bartender. She was an unusually sociable person for someone who worked mostly with the dead. 

“Gail Peck!” a voice bellowed from behind her. 

Holly glanced in surprised at the person over Gail’s shoulder. Her brow furrowed, and she looked at Gail in question. 

Gail spun on her stool. A man she instantly recognized as Captain Arthur Arnold was standing behind her. A large man, his nice suit coat’s buttons strained against his rather large gut. He had salt and pepper hair with a clean-cut beard of the same mix. He swayed a bit on his feet as he spread his arms open to take her in an unexpected hug, his large hands clapping her forcefully on the back. 

She coughed in surprise, freezing under his affections. “Captain,” she said simply, her eyes wide. 

He let go of her to stand between them, one hand taking residence on Gail’s hip while the other tried to settle on Holly’s thigh. She was quick though in her movements to rotate enough that his hand landed instead on her back. She sent a distressed gaze to Gail, who returned it with an unamused expression. 

The Captain was obviously drunk. She had dealt with him at many of her parents Christmas parties where he thought he could place his hands wherever he liked on her. She always managed to call out to his wife at these moments, which always caused his hands to retract instantly. Here, however, his wife was nowhere to be seen. 

“What’re you doing here?” He hiccuped giving her a sloppy smile. 

She replied rather tersely. “For the conference, Captain, what else?”

He chortled. “I’ve always liked that sense of humor, Peck.”

“Thank you, sir,” she replied not feeling thankful in the least. 

“Your mother here?” He glanced around. 

“No, sir.”

“Your father?”

Gail shook her head. “Just me, sir.”

He clapped her on the waist. “Well, you’ve got to get used to these kinds of things on your way up the ladder, Peck. Good practice.”

“Yes, sir,” Gail said, voice monotone. 

Holly was frowning at her, obviously not following what her parents had to do with any of this. Gail made the mistake of glancing at her, which brought the attention of the Captain. 

He not so discreetly checked out the forensic pathologist, his grubby eyes running inappropriately over her body. 

Gail felt her blood boil. She gritted her teeth to stop herself from snapping at her superior. 

“And who is your friend, Peck?” he asked not waiting for an answer as he took his hand off Gail’s waist to hold it out to Holly. “Captain Arthur Arnold, Toronto PD.”

Holly managed a tight smile, taking the Captain’s hand. “Dr. Holly Stewart, forensic pathologist, Ottawa.”

“Very nice to meet you, Ms. Stewart,” he said with a sleazy smile.

“Doctor.” Gail practically growled the word at him. 

He blinked, finally returning his attention back to her. “Excuse me, Officer?”

“She’s a doctor, sir. I would think as a captain you would understand being addressed by the title one has earned,” she said briskly. She was annoyed and insulted that this man was ignoring Holly’s obvious impressive accomplishments for one so young. If she were a man, he would have automatically addressed her as doctor. 

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Of course, my apologies, Dr. Stewart.”

Holly casually moved from under his hand to place her own casually on his shoulder. She stood. “It’s fine, Captain. I’m sorry to say though; we were just heading out now. I’m sure you’re tired from the journey as are we. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

The Captain was taken aback a bit. He appeared unsure as to whether Holly was being genuine with him or not. In the end, he nodded. “Of course, you ladies have a nice night. Good to meet you, Doctor.” He glanced at Gail. “Take care, Peck.”

Gail bit her tongue, not trusting herself to speak. She nodded, sliding off her stool. She grabbed Holly’s hand, pushing past the Captain and out of the bar. 

She didn’t stop when they reached the lobby. She didn’t stop until she was pulling the pathologist out the automatic doors and into the cold night air. It stung at her burning face, calming the anger bubbling inside her. 

“Gail?” Holly said, pulling at her hand. Gail stopped and spun to face her. She was just so angry, and it showed on her face. “Hey, it’s alright.” 

Holly placed her hands on Gail’s biceps, running them up and down soothingly. 

Gail shrugged out of her grasp. She threw her hands up in exasperation. “I am just so sick and tired of…of…that!” 

“Of what?” Holly stood there. It was clear on her face she was trying to understand what Gail was going on about. 

Gail flung her arms in the direction of the bar. “Of having to deal with douchebags who think because they’re my superiors that they have the right to be a sleaze ball!”

Holly nodded in understanding. “I get that.”

“I mean it’s one thing to be a greasy creep to me, but when he placed his hands on you, ignoring the fact that you’re a doctor. I just…to completely ignore your accomplishment like that! I mean you’ve got to be extremely young for your position, right?” When Holly nodded, Gail continued on her rampage, “He can’t just ignore the fact that you’re a successful doctor simply because you’re gorgeous! Checking you out like that! It’s disrespectful, but he can get away with it because he’s ‘in charge.’ Disgusting!”

Holly wasn’t looking concerned anymore. She stood back with an amused facial expression. Gail stopped her pacing, and stomped her foot rather childishly. 

“What!?” she snapped. 

Holly dipped her head down, but Gail could see the blush breaking spreading across her cheeks. “Nothing, it’s just…”

“What!?” she demanded again. 

“You’re insane. You know that right?” 

Holly glanced up at her, and Gail felt herself deflate. 

“So I’ve been told,” she said, looking a bit more ashamed of her outburst. 

The brunette stepped forward to link her arm through Gail’s. She tugged her into walking down the street. “Come on, hero. Let me buy you another drink for coming to my defense.”

Gail flushed, stuffing her hands into her pockets. She drew her elbows in to hold Holly’s arm in place. 

“Does this count as touching?” Holly asked with a wry smile.

Gail ignored the question. “You’re getting me in trouble already, nerd.”

Holly squeezed her arm with a light chuckle. “I imagine you do that well enough on your own.”

Gail smirked at that, throwing her head back towards the beautiful skyline. “You might be right about that.”


	3. Chapter 3

There was some sort of incessant buzzing sound. Gail couldn’t figure out what it was. She swatted towards it, her hand coming into contact with something hard. The buzzing stopped. She sighed happily.

What must have been ten minutes later, the buzzing started again. This time she was aware enough to realize it was her alarm. She bolted upright grabbing the clock. She squealed at the time, scrambling to get into the shower quick enough to still have time to get coffee and food before her first lecture. 

By the time she’d gotten back to the hotel last night, it had been extremely late. She and Holly had found a small pub no bigger than Gail’s apartment. It was dingy with low lighting and hardly any customers. They had sat at the bar for hours, talking and laughing and drinking, not feeling their jet lag in the least. Gail had never had so much fun just being around someone before. She was breaking her own rules, getting attached and then there was the touching. As the night went on they seemed to have totally and utterly ignored that rule all together. Holly, it seemed, was an extremely touchy person or something. Where Gail normally would detest such affection, the more tequila she drank, the more she returned it. 

They had gotten on every subject imaginable. Holly had asked about why the Captain had looked for her parents, which Gail dismissed, saying she’d rather not talk about them. Instead they spoke of what it was like to be a cop in a major metropolis.

Holly’s job sounded both interesting and boring at the same time. Interesting was the gory details of cases, like the forensics behind gunshot wounds, or how one specific type of bullet had led her to finding a serial killer. The boring part was the mumbo-jumbo language behind it, and the large amount of paper work. Gail had thought being a cop was all about paperwork, but it seemed forensics was just as bad.

It was near three am when they had finally stumbled out of the bar, arms linked together, laughing at a joke neither could particularly remember. When they finally made it back to their hotel, Gail insisted upon escorting Holly to her room even though it was on a higher floor than her own. It was her job, after all, to protect and serve. 

Holly had wiggled her eyebrows at the serve bit to which Gail held a drunken finger up to her. 

“The rules, nerd, the rules,” she said, poking the brunette on the nose. 

Holly smirked, leaning close to Gail’s face. Gail could feel the other woman’s breath on her lips. They stared at each other. 

“Goodnight, Officer,” Holly whispered, pushing through the door. 

“’Night, Doctor,” Gail said as she swaggered backwards down the corridor as far as she could go without falling. Holly watched her until Gail turned, throwing a wave over her shoulder as she moved toward the elevators.

Gail had collapsed in bed as soon as she had reached her room, falling asleep almost instantly.

Now Gail was racing out the door. By the time she had gotten down to the lobby there was nothing left at the breakfast bar but half a blueberry muffin, and the coffee canteens were completely empty, even the decaf. She could have at least pretended it was caffeinated. 

When she slid into the back of the auditorium, the lecture had already started. This one was entitled Forensics of a Bullet Wound. 

Gail tried to listen intently to whatever the man at the podium was saying, but it was all coming out like Peanuts characters. Holly explaining bullet wounds was far more interesting than this man. She slumped down in chair, stuffing the half muffin into her mouth and chewing rather loudly. She hoped there would be slides with pictures. At least those would be interesting to look at, or at least she’d have something better than the buck-toothed man lecturing on round calibers. Holly had been better to look at too. 

Gail jumped at the shrill of guitar as her phone rang out suddenly. She scrambled to turn the ringer off as the people nearest to her glared at her interruption. She gave them all a piercing look that had them sinking into their seats. No one looked at her like that, especially not when she was hungover and uncaffeinated. 

A new message from The Nerdbian:

How you feeling, Officer? Hopefully better than I do. Remind me not to drink so much when I have to be up so early. 

Gail found herself suddenly smiling, something she wasn’t used to this early in the morning. She glanced around, conspiratorially as if she was about to do something bad. She texted back:

I’d feel so much better if I had a proper breakfast and some coffee. I was forced to eat a suspicious half of a muffin to sustain myself. 

She sent the message, before she thought of something else.

Also, did you not only break my second rule and giving me your number, but also set your own ringtone to ACDC’s ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’?

The reply was immediate. Mmm coffee. Nothing should ever happen before coffee. 

Also, yes, yes, I did, and I believe it was rule 3. Though rules 1 and 2 were both about touching. We broke those too if I recall.

That made Gail blush. 

The Nerdbian: That sounded dirtier than I had meant it to. 

Gail typed out a reply: Well you did shake me all night long. 

The Nerdbian: And don’t you forget it!

Gail rolled her eyes, then realized that it was pointless since Holly couldn’t actually see her. 

The Nerdbian: Don’t roll your eyes at me!

Gail jumped. How the hell had she known that?

The Nerdbian: I’m psychic.

The cop’s eyes narrowed. Are you here?

She glanced around. There a few rows down, she caught sight of Holly turned round in her chair, winking up at her. She smirked, waving her up. The scientist ducked down as she snuck up to sit in the empty seat beside Gail. However Gail was distracted by the coffee cup in her hand. 

“Gimme, gimme!” Gail insisted, making grabby hands at the to-go cup. 

Holly frowned and held the cup out of Gail’s reach. “You think I’m going to share my coffee?”

“Holly,” Gail said seriously, turning in her chair. She took Holly’s hands into her own, making sure she had eye contact. “If you don’t give me some of your coffee right now. I may just die, a slow and painful death. You wouldn’t want that on your conscious now, would you?”

Holly laughed, shaking her head. “I don’t think so, Gail. My caffeinated body would send flowers though.”

Gail growled. “Holly, give me the coffee or I might murder someone!”

The pathologist side-eyed her, taking a slow sip from her cup. “Well, good thing I could solve that crime, isn’t it?”

“Not if I killed you,” Gail mumbled.

“I’ll take my chances,” Holly said, gripping her cup tightly as far from Gail’s reach as possible. 

There seemed to be nothing that would budge her. At least not in Gail’s normal manner, so she switched tactics. 

The cop made a pouty face at her, pushing out her lower lip with wide eyes. Holly tried to glance away toward the presenter, taking small sips from her cup every once and a while. Gail made a slight whimpering sound, placing her head on Holly’s shoulder. 

Holly sighed, her eyes shooting up to the ceiling as though she couldn’t believe she was about to do this, before she handed over the cup. 

Gail punched the air in victory, taking a long sip from the now lukewarm coffee. It was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted. She took another sip before she felt it slipping away from her.

Holly hugged her coffee cup to her chest. “I think that’s more than enough for you.”

Gail leaned in to whisper, “I can never have enough, Holly.” 

“Would you two ladies like to take that elsewhere? Or is this lecture interrupting your flirting time?” a gruff voice said from behind them. 

They turned to see the older man behind them looking sternly between the two of them. Gail glared at him, opening her mouth to shoot some kind of obscenity she hadn’t exactly decided on yet. Holly, however, grabbed her arm, pushing her down into the seat. 

“Sorry,” she whispered, slumping down herself. 

She and Gail shared a look. They tried hard, but the laughter bubbling up in their throats spilled out. 

They ran from the auditorium as the man cursed after them. 

“So breakfast?” Gail suggested as they finally came to a stop in the lobby. 

Holly chugged the rest of the coffee, tossing the empty cup into the nearest trash bin. She turned and smiled at Gail. “Absolutely.”

They found a diner nearby that smelled strongly of bacon. It was practically empty for being 9 am. The vinyl booths were chipped and old, but still maintained their bright blue even through age. The floors were checkered black and white. A long counter stretched around the space. An older woman leaned against it reading from a newspaper. She glanced up at them as the bell went off. 

“Sit wherever ya like,” she said her accent deep and Brooklyn. 

Gail nodded, leading Holly to the middle of the rows of booths. Gail hadn’t even glanced at the menu when she waved the waitress over. 

“What can I get you?” the waitress asked, not even bothering with attempting to write their orders down. 

“Pancakes, please,” Gail said, “Biggest stack you offer with a large side of bacon, crispy. And coffee, leave the pot.”

The woman nodded, turning to Holly. “And you dear?”

Holly glanced briefly at the menu. “Um, spinach omelet with Swiss cheese, side of hashbrowns. Coffee as well.”

The waitress, whose nametag read Shirley, left to put in the order. 

Gail turned to stare out the window. New York City was buzzing with activity. Everyone seemed to be in such a rush to get wherever they were going. They were all on their cell phones, ignoring the people next to them. Kind of like Gail was doing right now, so she turned her attention back to the brunette seated across from her. 

“Breakfast is my favorite part of the day,” Gail said, leaning her elbows on the table.

“I think this counts as brunch now doesn’t it?” Holly said as the waitress came back with their coffee. She poured them each a cup and, as instructed, set the pot down. They thanked her.

Gail took the cup into her hands, letting the warmth of the cup seep into her palms. “Brunch is for old ladies.”

Holly took a sip of her coffee, humming in approval. “Who you calling old?”

The blonde leaned back, running her eyes up and down Holly’s frame. “I don’t know. I think you’ve got some crow’s feet forming.” She pulled at the side of her own eyes.

“Hey!” Holly said, swatting at her with the menu. “I’m not that much older than you are!”

“You don’t know how old I am,” she said, taking another sip of coffee. 

“I bet you I can guess,” Holly said challengingly. 

The waitress came out at that moment with their order. She set the biggest stack of pancakes Gail had ever seen in front of her with a large pile of bacon. It felt like Christmas morning. Holly seemed amused by how fervently Gail shoveled bacon into her mouth. She took hold of the syrup and doused her pancakes in it. 

“Have some pancakes with your syrup there, Officer?” Holly remarked, taking the ketchup and blanketing her hashbrowns with it. 

Gail gestured with her fork towards the hashbrowns. “Pot, kettle, it seems. Like your ketchup there, huh?”

Holly nodded, offering up a forkful in Gail’s direction. “You want?”

“No thank you,” Gail said, making a face. “As much as I like potato products of all kinds, I don’t think they’re worth not breathing.”

Holly tilted her head in question. 

“I’m allergic to tomatoes,” Gail said through a mouthful of pancake. 

The scientist lifted her chin in an ‘ah’ gesture. “And apparently to manners as well.”

Gail sort of shrugged. She went for more bacon, but Holly snatched some out from under her hand. 

“Hey!” No one took Gail’s food.

Holly smirked as she chewed satisfyingly on her bacon strip. 

“I’ve killed for less, nerd,” Gail said in warning. 

“Sure you have, you big softy,” Holly said eating some of her omelet. 

Gail glared. She was not a big softy. What did this pathologist know anyway? Holly was leaning on the table, smiling that half smile at her. Well since she was a doctor, Gail figured, she probably knew a whole lot. She certainly had Gail pegged quickly. Not about the softy part though. Gail Peck was a fierce, hardened police officer. 

“So what was that about a bet again?” Gail said. She was sure she could beat Holly in a guessing game. 

“I said I bet I can guess your age,” Holly said, sneaking another piece of bacon from Gail’s plate. 

“Alright, try it,” Gail said, raising her chin in challenge. 

Holly’s eyes narrowed. She studied Gail’s face for a moment, chewing on her omelet thoughtfully. She smiled as she turned to cut into her hashbrowns. “28.”

Gail’s mouth hung open. “How could you know that!?”

“I’m good with faces. I’m a forensic pathologist, aren’t I?” Holly said, gesturing at her own face. “Ever seen Bones? I analyze the contours of your facial structure.”

“So you looked me up, huh?” the cop deduced. 

“I looked your face up,” Holly shot back.

Gail gave her a ‘really’ look, and Holly caved. “Alright, alright, the internet might have been involved.”

“Thought so.”

“I might have found an article…about your family.” Holly was now staring intently at her breakfast. 

“Ah,” Gail said, taking a long drink of coffee. “So you know.”

“What? That your family is some sort of cop empire?” Holly said, “Or that your god-father is the Toronto Chief of Police?”

Sighing, Gail glanced out the window, her lips tight. “Yeah, all that.”

“Hey, are you alright?” Holly reached out, placing a hand on top of hers. Gail froze, pulling her hand from under Holly’s. 

“Look, can we talk about something else? I left Toronto to get away from the Peck dynasty for a while, so ya know I’d rather not talk about how I’m measuring up,” Gail snapped. She turned to the waitress. “Hey, Shirley, can we get the check please?”

“Gail, come on,” Holly said, pushing the plate of bacon towards her, “You’ve still got bacon left, three whole pieces. Don’t make me eat them.” 

Gail sighed, finishing her cup of coffee. When Holly moved to grab her bacon, the blonde slapped her hand away. “Who said I was done with that?”

Holly smirked. “So sorry, Officer. I’ll let you finish.”

Shirley came up and set their check down. Gail smiled, grabbing it quickly. “We might be here a bit longer.”

Shirley eyed them both. “Take your time.”

“Are you gonna let me pay my half?” Holly asked, refilling both their coffee mugs. 

Gail chewed her bacon before answering. “Well you did let me have some of your morning coffee.”

“So that earns me a whole breakfast?” Holly asked. “Remind me to share with you more often.”

After they finished their coffee and Gail finished her bacon, they decided it was probably time for them to get back to the conference. 

When they got to the lobby, Gail turned to Holly. 

“I guess, this is where we should go learn something,” Gail said, stuffing her fists into her jean pockets.

“Might be good, if we want to keep our jobs that is,” Holly remarked. She winked and turned to leave, but stopped as Gail grabbed her arm. 

“Wait, Holly,” Gail said. She wasn’t sure quite what she was doing, but she felt the need to stop Holly, to keep her there. She wanted to see her again. That was an unusual feeling for Gail Peck. “Can we…”

Holly cut her off. “Do you like pizza?”

“Huh?” Gail blinked. 

“Pizza, you know cheese, sauce,” Holly said. She seemed to think about that for a second. “We can get alfredo or bbq? I know no tomatoes.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Gail said, still a bit confused as to where Holly was going with this. She found herself smiling as the pathologist beamed at her answer.

“Ok, well, good,” Holly said. “That settles it then.”

Holly went to move away again, but Gail stopped her one more time. 

“Um, what exactly was decided, nerd?” Gail had no idea what they had decided. Only that she liked pizza with basically the rest of humanity. 

“Just show up at my room tonight,” Holly said, backing away. “8 o’clock sharp. Don’t be late.”

Gail found herself nodding, watching the other woman walk away towards the conference floor. She looked at the time on her phone. She was almost late to her 11 o’clock lecture: Policing in the Field. 

“Hey, Officer!”

Gail glanced up. Holly was at the top of the stairs leading from the lobby floor to the atrium. 

“Bring tequila!”


	4. Chapter 4

Gail was in her last lecture of the day. In the last three, she had taken extensive notes, making sure they were complete and precise to make up for running out on the one this morning. This lecture, however, was boring her to death. Nothing about it was making any sense to Gail. Something about microfibers on bodies used to identify a murderer’s clothing. 

It was utterly dull, and though she had tried and tried to keep notes, her mind had found itself wandering towards tonight. She was going to meet Holly in her hotel room. She was to bring tequila. She was to bring tequila to her hotel room.

She wasn’t sure why that filled her with both dread and a sense of…excitement. She tried to focus again as her head ran through all the scenarios of what could go on tonight. Things that would lead them to…she shook the thoughts from her head. What was wrong with her? Why would she even think of that?

Her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was Steve.

New message from Badass Detective: How’s the nerd con?

Of course, Steve would feel the same way as she did about this conference. He, however, didn’t have to sit through these boring lectures.

Oh you know, boring me out of my mind.

Badass Detective: Glad I’m not being forced into one of those again. Once was enough.

Mom made you go to one of these too?

She couldn’t imagine Steve at one of these. He was a great detective (as he reminded her by changing his name in her phone), but he was never one for hitting the books. He moved more on instinct than on what a lecture could tell him. Most of the time, his instinct was good though. 

Badass Detective: Oh yeah, my third year as a rookie. No one ever wants to go to those things, but someone always needs to represent. You run into any of our parents’ fun buddies?

Gail flashed back to the Captain and his gross display of sexism with Holly. 

Yeah, Captain Arnold, douchebag extreme.

Badass Detective: He try and grope you again?

Worse: He did grope me AND my friend. He degraded her and checked her out. It was disgusting!

Badass Detective: While yes, despicable, did you say you have a friend???

Gail snorted and then got shushed by the lady a few seats down. She shot her a menacing glare. 

Shut up, dick-wad! I can make friends!

Badass Detective: Uh huh, sure you can, pea-brain. 

Asswipe 

Badass Detective: Dweeb.

Really? Dweeb?

Badass Detective: I’m running low on insults today. 

Text me when you gain some new ones.

Badass Detective: Will do. Be safe.

Aye, aye. 

Gail turned back to her presenter. At least Steve had gotten her mind off of tonight. Of course, now that brought her mind directly back to it. Back to Holly. He joked about her not making friends, but it was true. She wasn’t used to making such fast friends with anyone. Holly was different, somehow. She didn’t take Gail’s sarcasm and brashness offensively. Rather she found it all rather amusing, it seemed. To Gail, that was a nice change compared to the rookies back at 15. 

She just really hoped she wouldn’t royally screw this up. That was something of a specialty of hers. She felt like she spent most of her relationships trying to fix the messes she made when she’d opened her mouth. She didn’t want to ruin this friendship by spouting out something she ultimately didn’t mean. 

She’d been staring off into space, thinking, for so long she hadn’t realized the lecture had ended. People had gotten up and started leaving. In fact she was almost the last one sitting in the lecture hall. 

She jolted up out of her chair and headed out. She had to go back to her room to collect the tequila she’d bought at a nearby liquor store in between lectures, freshen up, and go up to Holly’s room. Why was she so nervous? 

She wasn’t paying any attention while she practically marched towards the elevators. She was so lost in thought she ran straight into someone. 

She frowned. “Watch…”

She stopped mid-sentence as she saw just who she’d almost plowed to the ground. He was blond and handsome. He smiled big at her. 

“Well, well, Gail Peck,” Arnie Olsen said. He looked the same as she remembered. 

“What the hell are you doing here, buck-teeth?” she asked. 

“Why you asking, snot-for-brains?” he responded.

They gazed at each other for a moment, waiting. Gail, as always, was the one to break first. She couldn’t help it. His serious face was the worst. It always made her laugh. So when he saw her lip twitch as she tried to not smile, he gathered her up in a big bear hug. 

Arnie was her brother’s best friend growing up. They had lived nearby. Arnie was American. His parents had moved them to Toronto when he was 11 from Alabama. Needless to say it had been quite a culture shock. Gail still remembered his first winter, when he had showed up at their door in the largest snowsuit imaginable. 

“So Elaine put you through the right of passage, huh? Making you attend this thing?”  
Arnie knew how serious her parents were about the Peck police dynasty. It had actually been her parents who had inspired him to take up civil service as well. 

“Yeah, pretty much twisted my sergeant’s balls ‘til he let me,” she said. Her mother had swept through the station, leaving a trail of destruction and mild hysteria in her wake as always. She’d marched straight up to Gail and handed her the plane ticket before informing her she was to go home and pack so she could leave the very next day. Gail had tried to protest, but Frank had told her she was to be their representative at the conference, that it was a big honor, yadda yadda yadda. “So I didn’t think they let your kind in to these kinds of things?”

Arnie gripped at his chest. “Ouch, burned,” he said with a wink. “Ragging on my job never gets old from you Pecks.”

She started to say, “It’s not too late to join the real--” but he cut her off again. 

“Don’t you dare!” he warned.

“Fine, fine.” She surrendered. “You talked to my brother lately?”

“Yeah, we went out for drink the other night,” he told her, “You know, at a neutral location.”

“Right,” she said with a laugh. “Your kind aren’t allowed in the Penny!” 

Arnie’s phone beeped suddenly. He dug it out of his pocket. 

 

“Sorry, Gail, I gotta go.” He smiled at her. “I’m meeting some guys at a bar down the street. You wanna tag along? See how the real heroes drink?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Sadly I have plans.”

Arnie’s eyebrows rose. “Got a boy waiting for you?” 

Gail smirked. “A lesbian.”

“Well, Gail Peck, I never would have thought,” he said doing his best impression of an old Southern lady. 

She swatted at his hands as he attempted to stroke her face. “Get away from me, weirdo. I’m probably late as is.”

He hugged her again, though roughly enough this time that it cracked her back. “Let me know when you’ve got some time, Peck. I’m an important person in your life and you need to spend time with me.”

She pushed past him towards the elevators. “Whatever, ash-breather.”

“See ya, lead-for-brains!”

 

Gail took a deep breath. She was standing outside Holly’s room. In one hand she clutched a tequila bottle, in the other she held a bag of cheese puffs. She stared at the door, unsure as to whether or not to proceed. It felt like an important moment, this one, even though in the realm of things this was someone she’d probably never see after this weekend. The thought oddly made Gail feel sad. 

Maybe she shouldn’t get invested. It would hurt to make such a close friend only to have to leave her behind. Holly was cool. Holly probably had tons of friends in Ottawa. She’d go home and not think twice about Gail. 

Gail cursed, stepping back from the door. Just as she made her decision to bolt, the door flew open. 

Holly stopped suddenly in front of her. When she realized who it was outside her door, a smile broke across her face, one Gail found hard not to return. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Gail said, feeling as awkward as she could for almost running out on the pathologist. She adjusted her grip on the items in hand to avoid her guilt, shifting from side to side.   
Holly grabbed the tequila bottle by the neck and ushered Gail into the room, holding the door open for her to pass. Gail was amazed at how neat everything was. Holly’s clothes were hanging in the closet, and she was sure that if she opened the drawers to the dresser, there would be clothes neatly folded in it as well. Gail’s room, on the other hand, looked like her closet had taken a plane ride and exploded there. 

She turned to Holly, who was setting the tequila down on the dresser beside the TV. 

“Pizza should be here in a minute. I went ahead and ordered. I hope you don’t mind?” Holly said. “One large barbeque chicken pizza. No tomato products of any kind need apply.”

Holly seemed to remember her allergy better than most men she’d dated. 

“Where were you going?” Gail asked as she threw the cheese puff bags onto the TV stand. 

Holly frowned. “When?”

Gail gestured towards the door. “Just now, you opened the door like you were going somewhere.”

“OH! Yeah, I was going to get ice,” Holly said, turning on her heels. “Which I will now actually go and do.”

She made it to the door before Gail called her back. “Uh, Holls?”

“Hmm?” Holly turned. 

Gail gestured to the ice bucket that sat very plainly in sight on the other side of the TV. She hadn’t had it when she’d open the door. “Forgetting something? Again?”

Holly looked where Gail was pointing, dawning realization on her face. “Oh yeah,” she said, crossing the room to pick up the bucket. “Might help, huh.”

“Little bit.” 

When the hotel door swung closed and Holly left (with the bucket), Gail let out a long breath. Again she asked herself, why did she feel so nervous? She went over to the tequila bottle and took a swig to calm her nerves. The burn felt good. 

She took it with her as she went to the washroom. Just like the room, the bathroom was in pristine condition. Nothing was out of place. Towels hung and rolled, as they should be. Even Holly’s makeup was set out in an orderly fashion. What a nerd. 

She glanced herself over in the mirror. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but she looked alright, she thought. She was dressed in a tight pair of dark jeans with knee-high boots and a bright blue shirt that she always thought made her eyes pop. Not that that really mattered tonight. She was just hanging out with Holly after all. 

She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment before taking another swig. Holly was taking far too long to bring back that ice. 

There was a knock at the door. The pizza?

Gail went to answer, tequila still in hand. When she looked through the peephole, Holly was standing there awkwardly, ice bucket clutched to her chest. Gail let out a breathy laugh as she opened the door. 

Holly smiled shyly at her. “Uh…hi.”

Gail pursed her lips, trying hard not to laugh. “You forget something else, nerd?”

“You mean my dignity? My pride?” Holly said, stepping forward. Gail blocked her entrance. 

“Yeah all that and perhaps a key to your hotel room?” Gail asked. 

Holly shoved past her. “Shut up.”

Gail giggled, letting the door shut. “Did the pretty girl showing up at your door distract you?”

The pathologist rolled her eyes. “You are such a brat.”

Strutting over to the bed, Gail flung herself down onto it, careful not to spill a drop of tequila. No need to waste alcohol. Holly placed the ice down beside the TV and then walked over to where Gail’s head lay. At this angle, she towered over the blonde.

When she leaned down, her hair cascaded into a curtain around their heads. Holly’s face was closed to hers. Her shirt was precariously loose above Gail’s head, and the blonde felt her eyes being drawn towards the space there. She blinked. 

That’s when she felt the bottle slipping from her hands. Her grip tightened. Holly smiled crookedly at her. She pulled at the bottle again. Gail’s eyes narrowed. 

Holly’s head tilted. “Come on, you aren’t going to share?”

Gail clutched the bottle with both hands. “Nope, get your own. I think I need the whole bottle after today’s mind numbing lecture series.”

Just then there was a knock on the door. Holly glanced up, relenting in their battle of the bottle. As she headed to answer the door, pulling bills out of her jean pocket, she threw Gail a look over her shoulder. “I guess I’ll just eat this pizza all by myself.”

Gail sat up. “You wouldn’t DARE!”

“Watch me!” 

Holly opened the door. A delivery girl stood there. She was tall and lean with so many piercings in her ears Gail couldn’t decipher where her actual ears were. 

“Pizza?” the girl said. She glanced over at Gail on the bed, before her eyes pinged back to Holly. She offered her the pizza box and told her the price. 

Holly handed her the bills and told her to keep the change. 

The girl smirked, glancing between them again. “Enjoy.” 

She wiggled her eyebrows at Gail out of Holly’s sight as the door swung to a close. Gail’s frown deepened. 

“Hey,” Holly said as she sat down on the bed, pizza in her lap. “I was just kidding about not sharing, you know.”

She nudged Gail’s shoulder playfully. When she opened the box, the delicious smell of cheese, barbeque, and chicken filled the room. Gail’s stomach rumbled in response. She hadn’t really eaten since they ate at the diner that morning and she was starving. Maybe that was what was going on with her. She was just hungry. The tequila probably didn’t help either. 

She offered Holly the tequila bottle as the brunette offered her the first slice. Holly took a big swig of tequila, wincing a bit at the intensity. 

Gail glanced around them for something to place the slice on. She turned back when Holly sighed. 

“Yeah, I have no plates,” she said, “I maybe should have thought this whole thing all the way through.”

Gail pushed the pizza box halfway onto both their laps. She leaned over it as she took a giant bite of pizza, humming in approval of the flavor.

“It’s ok,” she said through her chewing, “Plates will only slow us down.”

\--  
A short time and four pizza slices each later, Gail and Holly were sprawled in opposite directions on the bed. Gail’s feet were pressed against the headboard while Holly’s feet hung off the end. They passed the bottle of tequila between them, the rest of the pizza lying off to the side forgotten. 

Gail thought this was nice. This was what real friends did, wasn’t it? This was what she did with Andy and Traci on occasion. That is until she had been exiled from the group. Even though it wasn’t her fault Andy was sleeping with her ex. 

She frowned and grabbed the bottle out of Holly’s hand a bit more forcibly, taking a large swig. By this time, the alcohol was making her feel fuzzy and warm all over. It helped drive away the thoughts of betrayal and outrage. 

“You alright?” Holly said, her word a bit slurred and more languid than normal. Her smile was easy and crooked. 

Gail nodded. “Peachy keen, nerdbian.”

Holly giggled. She sat up and reached for the bottle. Gail, who sat up as well, held it away from her. 

“Gail,” Holly whined, making grabby hands for the tequila. 

Gail shook her head. “Tell me a secret, nerd, and you’ll get it back.”

Holly sank back a bit, letting her arm drop as she contemplated Gail’s request. “A secret, huh?”

Gail nodded. “Yup, a secret for booze.”

“And then will you tell me a secret of yours?” Holly asked back.

The blonde didn’t like telling secrets. The walls she’d built up never allowed any secrets to escape under her careful watch. Maybe it was the tequila, maybe it was Holly’s easy manner, maybe it was the way she was looking at Gail, but the cop found herself nodding.

“Yeah, secret for secrets.”

“And alcohol.”

Gail laughed. “And alcohol.”

Holly leaned back, her hands supporting herself on the comforter. She let her head fall back to study the ceiling as she lost herself in thought. It took a moment, and during this time Gail really looked at Holly.

She was wearing a tight pair of blue jeans that accentuated her long thin legs. The top she had on was an olive green with a swooping neckline that accentuated her skin tone and…other assets rather well. Her glasses were sitting on the bedside table now, discarded as they laid back, so now even with her head tilted back Gail could see her eyes a bit better. They were a deep brown. Gail had always thought brown eyes were flat and almost colorless, but she could see layer upon layer of colors wrapping together to form the brown that made up Holly’s eyes. They were rather beautiful, just like Holly herself. 

Holly let out a long sigh before finally looking at Gail. Gail blinked and tried to seem as though she hadn’t been staring. Holly’s smirk was telling her she had probably been caught. 

“When I was fifteen years old, this girl moved in next door,” Holly began. “She was a year older. Her name was Talia. She was the first I think, the first time I really saw a girl and went kind of ‘Oh.’ It was the feelings my friends described when they saw cute boys. I never really got those feelings though. I tried. I always kind of thought there was something wrong with me, you know?”

Her eyes met Gail’s at this point. The brown seemed to deepen like she was looking for some reassurance that she wasn’t alone. 

Gail nodded. She understood what it felt like to feel wrong. 

Holly, seemingly satisfied, continued, “That is, until Talia. She was tall and muscular, but lean at the same time. She had black hair and tanned skin. She was gorgeous. I, however, was all lank and clumsy. I hadn’t yet grown into my skin, I guess. So anyway, somehow miraculously, Talia and I seemed to share some of the same friends, so sometimes at parties or events we’d run into each other. She never really seemed to know me besides the fact that I lived next door. That is until one night, she offered me a ride after a football game. I took her up on it, of course. Nothing happened on the car ride there, we just made small talk. She asked about the science fair, which I didn’t know she knew I was in, and I asked about basketball.”

Holly looked down at this point, like she couldn’t bear to keep Gail’s eye as she told this next part. “I don’t know what got into me. We were in the driveway, and she was talking about being point guard. Before I knew it, I had lunged across the seat and kissed her.”

Gail inhaled sharply. The tequila bottle was now almost forgotten in her lap. 

“I ran so fast out of that car.” Holly’s eyes were closed. “We never talked about it. I avoided her like the plague for most of the rest of the year. I never told anyone, and as far as I know she never told anyone either. Thank god. I had been so afraid to go to school the next Monday to find that the whole school knew. They didn’t though. She never said a thing.”  
Gail reached out and covered Holly’s hand with her own. Holly opened her eyes. 

“I’ve never told anyone about her before now.”

Gail handed her the tequila. “That story deserves this.”

Holly smiled, grabbing the bottle and taking a long drink. “Alright Peck. Tell me a secret.”

Gail frowned. She had been so wrapped up in Holly’s story she’d forgotten to come up with her own. 

What could she say? What secret could make it past the defenses she had so fiercely kept up? What wouldn’t send this gorgeous creature running?

She felt the answer bubble up inside her. She couldn’t stop it as the secret spilled out. “I’m afraid I’ll never be someone’s first choice.”

Why was it that? Anything but that! Damn the tequila. 

Holly frowned. “What do you mean?”

Gail swallowed the lump in her throat. She wished for the alcohol back, at least so she’d have something to do with her hands. 

“I mean…” She paused, taking a deep breath, “What I mean is that in all of my past relationships, I’ve always been the easy choice, the she’s hot so that makes her worth putting up with choice until someone better comes along. I’ve never felt like anyone has chosen me for, well, me. It’s always my looks or our past or something. I’m put up with, not liked, and certainly not loved. Maybe that means I just don’t deserve it.”

She wasn’t looking at Holly anymore. In fact, she was squeezing her eyes as tightly shut as possible. She would not cry. This would be a stupid thing to cry over. Pecks didn’t cry. 

“Hey.” Holly’s voice was soft and hoarse and full of something Gail couldn’t recognize. She opened her eyes. Holly was so close that every time she breathed out Gail could feel it on her skin. “Someone will think you are the sun and the moon. That the world cannot turn without your smile. That your snark and bite are all part of a charm to cover what you really are.”

Gail felt her insides harden a bit, not with walls snapping back, but more like someone molding a suit of armor just for her. “And what am I exactly?”

Holly poked at her stomach. “A big softy with an ooey gooey center.”

She scowled, swatting Holly’s hand away. “I am not!”

The pathologist giggled and handed over Gail’s prize. “Here, you deserve this, Officer Softy.”

Gail glared, snatching the tequila away. 

Holly collapsed back down on the mattress, hair fanning out in all directions. “I’ve got another secret for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Gail said, leaning down on her elbow so she kind of hovered over Holly, who turned to look at her. 

“Yeah,” Holly said softly. She couldn’t seem to hold Gail’s gaze, or maybe Gail couldn’t hold hers. 

Gail licked her lips. 

“I…uh…” Holly trailed off. 

It felt very hot in there all of a sudden. Gail needed space; she needed air. Too many secrets lay bare before them, and she needed to put her guards back up before she let this woman take anymore down. 

She flopped down beside Holly, turning completely on her back away from her. 

Holly let out a breath. 

“So what’s the secret?” Gail asked after a moment. She held up the prize. “No talky, no alky.” 

“I once took up miming for a summer when I was eight.”

“Of course, you did.”

“Hey, that earns me the tequila, not you another swig!”

“Whatever, nerd, I need it to wash the image of you trapped in an invisible box out of my brain.”

“Just tell me another secret, Gail, and hand over the alcohol!”


	5. Chapter 5

When Gail woke up the next morning, it wasn’t to the normal sound of her alarm. She was startled awake by the hand closing around her middle. There was a body pressed against her back. A knee stuck between hers. A nose buried in between her shoulder blades. Gail was afraid to move and see whom exactly she had taken into bed. 

Her head ached with the distinct dull buzzing that came from drinking tequila. Her mouth tasted as if someone had died. This wasn’t a good way to start her day. 

One glance at the clock on the nightstand told her it was 5 am. Her internal alarm woke her from years of early mornings on the force. She had enough time before the seminars began again. That’s when she noticed the pair of glasses folded there, the lenses reflecting the red glare of the clock digits angrily. 

Holly.

She peeked over her shoulder and saw the pathologist sound asleep, hair splayed across the pillow behind her. Her face was serene, at least what Gail could see of it. Holly seemed to have burrowed her face into Gail’s back at some point in the night. 

Gail wasn’t sure exactly what to do. She was afraid to move, lest she awaken Holly and have to deal with the awkwardness that was their current cuddle session. Maybe it wouldn’t be awkward. Friends could cuddle, right? Even ones that are attracted to the same sex?

She made an attempt to slide out of Holly’s arms, but the grip tightened around her waist, fingertips brushing against the exposed skin of Gail’s stomach. It sent a shiver through her. Holly sighed and wiggled closer. Her knee was pressing into a particularly sensitive spot. Gail needed to get out of here. 

She made the decision, and moved quickly to execute it. She tucked her arms to her chest and rolled off the bed. Managing to catch herself mostly, she was almost silent as she hit the soft maroon carpet. 

Slowly, she lifted herself up to peek over the mattress edge. Holly was still sound asleep, though her face was scrunched and her hands reached out. When she found nothing beside her, she sighed and turned to face the other direction. 

Gail stood there for a moment just looking at the sleeping form of her new friend. She was lying on her stomach, wearing an over large shirt, and though the sheet covered her lower half, Gail was sure she was wearing short shorts. 

Gail swallowed. 

With one last look, she grabbed her shoes and, after second thought, the bag of half-eaten cheese puffs, left as quietly as she could. It was only after the door clicked that Gail realized she wasn’t wearing her clothes. Instead she was in a pair of flannel pajama pants and what she guessed was a softball shirt with Forensic Hitters on the front. She was sure it would say Stewart across the back if she could see it. 

The unfortunate thing was the key to her room was in her jean pocket. Jeans that were inside the room she had just locked herself out of. 

She wasn’t about to go knock on the door and face Holly after she ran from the room like she was on fire. She thought of the shameful trudge down to the front desk to ask them for a new key. She cringed at the thought. 

But she didn’t have much other choice, now did she? 

She hit the call button for the elevator, dreading every moment as she waiting as it ascended floors. She could only hope it was so early that no one would be in the lobby or notice the crazy girl in flannel pajamas. 

Of course the universe would rather see her humiliated. The elevator dinged as it approached her floor. The doors opened to reveal a lone rider: Arnie Olsen. 

They stared at each other. He had obviously gone running or hit the gym. He was in workout clothes and sweating into a towel looped around his neck. He took one look at what she was wearing and burst into laughter.

“One night with a lesbian, and she’s already got you in flannel!” he practically barked in laughter, bending over to try and catch his breath. 

The doors dinged and tried to close on her, but she thrust her arm between them. She stepped inside the elevator, smacking the still laughing Arnie, before hitting the lobby button. 

“Aren’t you getting out?” she asked, gesturing towards the open doors. 

Arnie shook his head. He took a few deep breaths before he could manage to speak again. The doors closed. “Oh, no, hun, I’ve gotta see this!” 

She glared at him. “I hate you.”

“Hate you too, babe,” he replied. He was way too perky this early. 

They watch as the elevator descended floors. As they closed in on the lobby, he asked, “Do I even want to ask why you’re going to the lobby?”

Gail sighed. “I don’t have my key.”

“Or your clothes,” he noted.

She ignored him and continued to do so as the doors opened into the lobby. She moved straight to the front desk, self-conscious now that she was around other people. She regretted not at least stopping to put her shoes actually on her feet. 

She tried to seem confident as she moved to speak to the receptionist. 

“Hi,” she said, folding her arms on top of the counter. She tried to channel as much of Elaine Peck’s authoritative presence as she could. 

The receptionist smiled amusedly at her, running her eyes briefly down her pajama-clad body. “Hello, how can I help you?”

Gail deflated a little. “I locked myself out.”

The receptionist, Tina as her nametag read, nodded sympathetically. “Alright, I can help you with that. Name?”

Gail gave her all her information. It took barely anytime before she was in possession of a whole new keycard. She thanked Tina, promising she wouldn’t lock herself out again. 

Tina laughed. “Let’s hope so.”

When Gail turned to leave, Arnie was still behind her. She glared at him. “Must you be here?”

Arnie nodded. “Oh yeah, I’m not letting you get away without telling me what went on last night!”

She didn’t answer. Instead she walked back to the elevators. All she wanted was to be back in her room, take a shower, brush her teeth, and wash away last night from her skin. She wasn’t sure why it made her so uncomfortable. They had only sat and talked. Maybe it was the sharing secrets. She wasn’t so great about sharing anything, especially things she kept so close to the chest. After the first reveal, even the tequila couldn’t convince her to reveal anything else too personal. 

There had just been something so comfortable about Holly. Something about her made Gail want to trust her, made her subconsciously tell her things. 

She shook herself of these thoughts as the elevator reached her floor. She was silent as Arnie followed her to her room. When opened the door, she swung around, blocking his entry. 

“Hey, come on, Gail,” he said, “You know you wanna tell me what happened!”

She pursed her lips at him, shooting him her most lethal glare. “No, Arnie, I don’t. It’s none of your damn business. I’m going to go take a shower and start my day. I suggest from the way you smell that you do the same.”

Before he could answer, however, she slammed the door in his face. 

\--

After she had showered, feeling a bit more human, she felt a bit ashamed of running out like that. With the day’s schedule though, she didn’t have much time to contemplate it. 

It was only 11 am, and she had already been to two different lectures. Her arms were overflowing with notes and pamphlets. She was walking down the hallway, rushing to her next lecture when she took a corner a bit too sharply and ran straight into someone who had been leaning casually against the wall. 

She would have fallen straight on her ass if a hand hadn’t enclosed around her wrist, then another steadying her waist. Her notes spilled to the floor. 

“Shit!” Gail exclaimed. 

“Gail? Are you alright?” It was Holly. Because of course it was Holly. 

Gail felt suddenly shy. She was sure her cheeks were flushed from embarrassment. “Holly! Hey…yeah, no, I’m fine. I’m good. I’m…” she trailed off.

“Fine?” Holly suggested with that infuriating half smile. She leaned her shoulder back against the wall, releasing Gail to shove her hands into her back pockets. 

Gail chuckled uncomfortably. “Yeah.” 

There was an awkward pause. 

“So…,” Holly started, but stopped as Gail rocked forward, mouth open to say something. Though now that she thought of it, she had no idea what she was about to say. 

They both laughed. Holly leaned down and began to pick up Gail’s notes. Gail joined her. 

“Heading to the lecture on piecing together crimes through evidence on living victims?” Holly asked. She thrust her thumb to the lecture hall door on the other end of the hall. 

Gail nodded. “Um yeah, actually.”

Holly stood, handing her the last of her fallen papers. “Good, me too. Come on, then, let’s find some seats.”

She didn’t move to touch Gail like the blonde had expected. She just picked her bag up off the floor and headed to the door, not looking to see if Gail was even following. Gail, of course, found herself numbly walking behind the pathologist like she was caught in a gravitation pull of nerdiness.

They found seats towards the middle of the hall just as the lights dimmed and the presenter walked out. 

Holly didn’t even glance her way. She stared at the presenter with an interested, contemplative look on her face. 

Gail couldn’t help but gaze at her. She didn’t seem mad. She didn’t seem to find it weird that they had fallen asleep together and when she had woken up that Gail was nowhere to be found. The only evidence of her even being there would have been her clothes and an empty tequila bottle. She wondered how Holly felt about that. 

The presenter started speaking, drawing Gail’s attention towards him. He was a tall, lean man, balding. He had bottle-cap glasses. He was probably her father’s age. For some reason, she couldn’t help but feel as though they had met before. 

She leaned over to Holly. “Who is he?”

Holly seemed startled. “Him? Dr. Richards? You’ve probably met him before. He’s a pathologist in Toronto.”

“Oh,” she said, moving back into her seat. They must work together. She’d never paid much attention to the nerd squad. 

“Forensic science is all about piecing together a crime from limited amounts of evidence. Normally we have nothing but evidence like fiber and dirt samples; however when there is a living victim, it makes our jobs both easier and harder at the same time. While living victims can give testimony, their memories, especially during traumatic events, are not the most accurate. When the victim has died, all we have is clinical evidence that cannot contradict itself. When the victim is still alive, their accounts tend to change over time as events either become clearer or foggier,” Dr. Richards said. He was standing at a computer. He queued up a projector with a slide show. The first slide said: Science of Living Victims. 

Gail sighed. She was already bored, but she took out her notepad all the same and began to write. 

“My name is Dr. Richards. I am the lead forensic scientist of Toronto, Canada. Dealing with such a large city and a large police force leads to a number of crimes where the victims have survived attacks. I will be presenting a number of cases where I have dealt with a living victim and then explaining the evidence behind how their testimonies, along with the forensics, helped piece together the crime.”

Gail slumped into her seat and yawned. Holly elbowed her. Gail glared at her. The pathologist just shook her head and turned her attention back to the presentation. 

Dr. Richards clicked to the next slide. It was a crime scene photo. A metal slab stood in the middle of what looked like a basement room. Gail felt a jolt run through her. Certainly this couldn’t be….

“Our first case to analyze deals with a taxi driver who kidnapped prostitutes, then drugged them and tied them up in this basement before raping and murdering them. Police performed an undercover operation, which resulted in the arrest of the wrong person. The real assailant took the undercover officer home before kidnapping her. She survived, thanks to a detective who gave his life to save hers. It is her testimony that we will be analyzing.”

Gail’s entire body stiffened. It felt like someone had dropped her into ice water. Her insides were trying to force their way through her throat. This could not be happening. 

Dr. Richards continued to the next slide. It was a picture of Gail. Even with her face blurred out, she knew. She remembered when they took these photos, cataloguing her injuries. Dr. Richards was still talking. Something about the drugs that were present in her system and the lacerations obtained by her struggling. Gail, on the other hand, couldn’t move. Her wrists felt the cold binding against them. She felt like she had no control over her body anymore. This had to be a nightmare. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to breathe. Wake up, Gail, she told herself, This isn’t real.

She could hear the clicking of his heels, the wingtips hitting against the concrete. Click, click.

“Gail?” Holly’s voice only slightly registered. It sounded as though she were underwater. Gail couldn’t bring herself to answer. 

None of this is real!

Click, click.

But when she opened her eyes again, she was still sitting there. Even worse, Richards had changed the slide. Though his face was blurred, she recognized him instantly. 

Jerry. 

She was up and out of her chair before she knew it, sprinting as fast as she could from the room. She was sure she had abandoned her notepads, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t breathe. She was going to be sick. 

Somehow she managed to make it to the bathroom before she puked her guts out into the nearest toilet. She sputtered and gagged long after everything had cleared from her system. Then she dry heaved. 

Her hair moved from her shoulders, and a soothing hand rubbed down her spine. Holly. She knew it was her without even looking up. 

She spit into the toilet, then flushed it and slumped down to the floor. She was crying, she realized. Tears stung her eyes. The lump in her throat made her voice falter on itself as she tried to say something, anything, to the other woman. She buried her face in her hands, pressing her palms into her closed eyes. Pull yourself together, Peck, she told herself. 

“Gail, sweetie,” Holly said, kneeling down on the tiled floor next to her. 

Gail allowed her to take her wrists and pull her hands away from her eyes. Holly’s hands felt warm and silky against her skin, nothing like the cold metal shackles that ghosted there. Holly’s face was a blur through the tears. She was concerned, that much was evident. Before she could stop herself, Gail launched herself into Holly’s arms, clutching onto her as though she might fall apart unless Holly held her together. 

“It’s alright,” she whispered into the blonde’s hair as she rubbed soothing circles onto her back. “No one can hurt you.”

The thing was, Gail believed her. With Holly’s arms around her, she felt safe. Even crumpled here on the bathroom floor. She wasn’t sure what that meant. 

She tried to take a few deep, long breaths. Holly smelled earthy. Not like dirt or anything but as if someone had bottled up the feelings of sunshine on your face and added it to flowers. She smelled like warmth. 

They stayed that way for a while. How long exactly Gail wasn’t sure, but it was until her tears subsided and she felt a bit calmer. 

When she pulled back, Holly let her go, hands moving from Gail’s wrists to fall onto her lap. 

“What do you need?” she asked. Her voice was soft, even though it echoed a bit in the stall. 

Gail went to get up, but Holly stood immediately, offering her a hand. She took it, allowing the other woman to haul her to her feet. 

“I just want to get out of here,” Gail said, brushing off her pants. “Screw the conference.”

Holly nodded. “Alright, I know exactly where to go.”

Gail opened her mouth to say something, but made a face and closed her mouth again. 

“First I need to brush my teeth.”

They both went to their own rooms, changed, and Gail brushed her teeth. She felt a bit more like herself. She was tying her hair up in a quick braid, when there was a knock on the door. 

She finished with her hair as she crossed the room. When she looked the peephole, Holly stood on the other side of the door, rocking on her heels. 

“Hey,” Gail said as she opened the door. 

Holly smiled, brightly. “Hey, ready to go?”

Gail nodded, checking to make sure she had her key and wallet before shutting the door. 

“Where are we going?”

Holly shook her head, striding down the hallway. “Not telling.”

Gail scowled. “I don’t like surprises, nerd.”

Holly shrugged and said nothing. 

They rode the elevator down to the lobby. Holly headed straight outside. Gail followed, wondering what the hell this woman had in store for her. She was still feeling a bit raw, honestly. Her throat stung. Her voice was scratchy. Her limbs felt heavy. 

Seeing Holly throw a smile over her shoulder to make sure she was still behind her made her heart feel a little less burdened though. With each step, she felt a bit better. With the hustle and bustle of New York around them, it was easier to forget the nightmares left behind in that lecture hall. 

They reached a subway stop. Gail descended the stairs, following Holly, who whipped out a subway card. She scanned it, went through the turnstile and handed it to Gail.

They just managed to board the train before the doors closed. 

After a moment, Gail started getting antsy. “Seriously where are we going, Holly?”

Holly turned to Gail, thoughtfully. “Do you like museums?”

The question threw Gail off. “Uh, yeah, I guess.”

Holly nodded, starring out at the swiftly moving tunnels out the window. “Good, that’s where we’re going.”

Of course, the nerd was taking her to a museum. 

When they stopped, Gail silently followed Holly. They emerged onto street level at Central Park. Gail glanced up at the street sign: 86th ST. 

“Come on, Gail!” Holly said as she jogged towards a bus now stopping. 

“We need a bus too?” Gail exclaimed, running after her. 

The bus cut them across the park. It was nice, calming even all this green amongst the metal. It was sunny so there were a lot of people out. People walking dogs, jogging, couples taking strolls together. Gail took a deep breath.

Holly shifted in the seat beside her, away from the older man sitting on the other side. Gail smiled softly at her as their sides brushed, and Holly returned it.

When they eventually got off the bus, they were by a large building with giant stone steps. Gail recognized the building immediately. 

She turned to Holly who seemed way to smug with herself. “You brought me to the Met?”

Holly waved a hand towards the building. “Apparently so. What’re your feelings on art?”

Gail’s eyes narrowed. “You really are a serious nerd, aren’t you?”

Holly started up the stairs. “As you continually remind me, Officer.”

\--

It was nice. Holly hadn’t asked her a single thing about what happened. No ‘how are you?’. No ‘do you want to talk about it?’. It was something Gail always feared if she let go. But there were no questions; actually they weren’t talking about anything but art.

They started with the Egyptian exhibit. Giant stone structures rose high above them, surrounded them with figures of cats and gods, or perhaps cat-gods.

They passed through what Holly described as some sort of chapel. The ancient walls surrounded them, separated by Plexiglas. It created a kind of silence, muffling the shuffle of people out into the other areas of the museum. The quiet was soothing. It brought Gail’s still tempestuous heart down a notch. 

Plus the scene depicted on the wall was a hunt and a dog attacking a hyena. So it was kind of cool in Gail’s opinion. Not that she’d tell the nerd that. 

Holly was truly in her element, it seemed. Every gallery she seemed to know something about. The stone statues of pharaohs held a part of her brain. She went on and on about Egyptian history and myths. Why one god was more important than another, why they turned from polytheism to monotheism with some guy name Akhenaten and his sun god. 

Man, Holly really was a nerd. 

The last of the Egyptian artifacts was a large monument, towering overhead, called the Temple of Dendur. 

“It was a gift to the US from Egypt,” Holly said, hands flying as she spoke. “For helping save monuments from the rising waters of the Nile.”

Gail’s eyes narrowed, never leaving Holly even in the sight of this amazing feat of ancient architecture. She was kind of adorable in her enthusiasm. 

Holly caught her stare. Her hands stilled mid-air. “What?”

“You’ve seen every documentary on the History Channel, haven’t you?” Gail remarked with a smirk. 

Holly blushed, hands dropping. “No.”

“Liar,” Gail said, nudging Holly’s shoulder playfully. 

She was rewarded with that crooked smile. “Ok, maybe. I just find it all interesting!”

Gail nodded. “It is. I just can’t imagine how you keep it all in your brain.”

Holly gripped the side of her head. She closed her eyes and proclaimed, “I know all!”

The blonde rolled her eyes at the dramatic declaration. What a dweeb. “Come on, nerd, before you start telling me you’ve seen the mermaid documentary.”

The look on Holly’s face told Gail she already had. 

“You’re kidding!?”

Holly shrugged. “It was on TV!”

Gail scoffed. 

\--  
As they continued through the galleries, they got a bit lost in the American wing, which consisted of a maze of old furniture and a large circular room with a painting of Versailles on the walls. 

The American wing ended with a large, open space filled with sculptures. It was breath taking. They circled around a black sculpture of a boy hugging a duck.  
Gail glanced at the nameplate and snorted. 

“What?” Holly asked.

Gail gestured to the plate. “This is so creatively called Boy and Duck.”

Holly laughed. “Well, what would you call it?”

Her brow scrunched as she thought on that. What would she call it? “I’ve Got Dinner?”

She would never get over making Holly laugh. 

“How bout Duck Season?”

“I Go Hunting Naked?”

They giggled over their choices in names so much that an older woman passing by shot them a look, gesturing with her finger for them to quiet down. Before Gail could snap at her, Holly grabbed the blonde’s hand and walked quickly from the gallery. 

They passed through a gallery with a large screen that Holly said was for Spanish choirs. This space was filled with medieval religious art, tapestries, sculptures, and altarpieces. 

There were gorgeous collections of stained glass a few rooms later. While Gail wasn’t a very religious person, as the last time she had gone to church for anything but a funeral or wedding was well over a decade ago, she found the colors and depictions in the stained glass beautiful.

There was more colorful furniture that she didn’t find much interest in. She was about to voice this opinion when they passed through to another room. 

It was a long room filled with more statues. At its center, a statue of a naked man stood holding a severed head. 

“Now this is more like it!” Gail exclaimed hurrying up to the statue.

Holly laughed. “Of course you’d like the one with the severed head.” 

Gail smiled wide at her. “Duh! So what’s this one about?”

Holly circled to the other side. “You know who Medusa is?”

“Of course. Turned men to stone.”

“Right, well, that’s her head,” Holly said, waving a hand to the stone head in the man’s hand. “And this is Perseus. The hero who killed her.”

The way she said hero made Gail pause. “You don’t consider that heroic”

The pathologist’s lips pursed. “Depends on which myth you believe. One myth says that Medusa was raped by Poseidon in Athena’s temple, so Athena gave Medusa the power to protect herself. Some say she punished her for it, but I would like to think that Athena gifted Medusa to never be a victim again.” 

Gail closed her eyes. She could hear the click, click of the wingtips again. They crept up the back of her mind, unsuspecting. She wanted to take the power back. She wasn’t a victim anymore. 

Gail rounded to Holly’s side, slipping her hand into Holly’s hand. Holly didn’t react. They didn’t look at each other. Instead they stared at Perseus.

“That wouldn’t make him much of a hero, would it?”

Holly shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t.”

“I think,” Gail said, staring at Medusa’s face. “I think I’m ready to talk about it now. If you’re willing to hear it?”

Holly squeezed her hand. “Of course.”


	6. Chapter 6

This called for ice cream. At least according to Holly it did. So before Gail talked about anything, they hunted down a nearby ice cream cart. 

Holly bought mint chocolate chip in a cup, while Gail got a whopping amount of peanut butter chocolate onto a waffle cone. Holly laughed at the excitement clear on the blonde’s face about her ice cream cone. 

“Ice cream,” Gail said between licks, “is a serious matter, Holly!”

Holly rolled her eyes. “Of course it is.”

They headed back to the museum, where they perched on the stone steps. The sun was out and felt wonderful on her skin after spending so much time in air conditioning over the past few days. Gail leaned back on her elbows, careful not to spill her cone. 

They sat there for a little while, quietly eating their respective ice creams. Holly didn’t push her to say anything. She simply giggled at the sheer volume per second Gail consumed her ice cream. Holly wasn’t even half done by the time the blonde shoved the end of the cone into her mouth.

“You are going to get a stomach ache, you know?” Holly said, taking a reasonable size bite. 

Gail clapped her hands on her stomach. “Nah, it’s all steel in here.”

“I thought it was all cheese puff?” Holly retorted. 

Contemplating that for a second, Gail agreed. 

“Stomach of cheese dust, voice of daggers, heart of gold,” Holly said, drinking the melted ice cream at the bottom of her cup. 

Gail made a face. “I don’t know about heart of gold.”

Holly looked at her. Really looked at her. For so long that it made Gail uncomfortable. Then she glanced away, shuffling over on the step so their sides brushed. 

“You’re all mush in there, Gail Peck. Even if you won’t admit it, I can see right through that armor,” Holly told her. 

The officer wasn’t sure how to respond. How could Holly sound so confident in who she was? How could this incredible woman want to be anywhere near such a wreck of a human being?

“It was last year.” 

Holly’s body tensed next to her. Gail could tell she was nervous to hear the story, probably as nervous as Gail was to tell it. No one wanted to hear how someone got kidnapped and got their friend’s fiancé killed. 

“I, uh, well there was this investigation. A woman had gone missing, and it turned out she was a professional escort. They found some connections to other cases of dead escorts, all tying back to one man who had taken each one of these women out. They needed some way to draw him out, and I volunteered. I was his type after all. So they set up my profile. Jasmine.” 

Holly let out a breathy laugh at Jasmine. It made Gail smile. She glanced over at Holly. “I know, right? McNally chose it. I told her I didn’t want to be a freaking Disney princess, but what do I know about being an escort?”

“I can’t imagine you as a Jasmine,” the scientist said, looking her over a second. She nodded to herself as if she agreed with her conclusion that the blonde was so not a Jasmine. 

Gail kind of grunted in agreement. She took a deep breath, turning to stare straight ahead as she continued. “So the guy took the bait, wanted to meet at this fancy hotel restaurant. The detectives set up everything with the manager. He was the only one who knew we were there. I waited at the bar, drank a little to settle my nerves, and waited for him to show up. He did.”

She stopped for a minute to settle herself. This was actually a bit easier to get off her chest than she thought it’d be. Of course, she hadn’t gotten to the tough bits yet. 

“So we had a date. Well, basically we talked. I told him things about myself and how I thought my friends viewed me. Stuff I shouldn’t have told a suspect, but Noelle had said to make it real and what did it matter? He was going to be in jail soon anyway. At the end, we were supposed to head up to a room. Andy and Nick were to go ahead of us and be ready to burst in, when I called room service for some champagne. But the suspect didn’t want to go to the room. Instead he wanted to go for a ride in his car. At this point, I was panicking inside. I mean, I could die. My backup didn’t know where I was! I knew I had to remain in control though, I knew they were watching the security cameras. So I flashed what section of the parking garage we were on to the camera.”

Gail shifted a bit, swallowing. She wished she had some water. Even with the smoothness of the ice cream, her throat was still rough from being sick. 

“Once inside his car, I insisted in an exchange of money. He agreed to get that out of the way, so we could enjoy ourselves. He handed me the money, and that’s when my backup found us. They arrested him. Job done, right?”  
This was where it was going to get a bit more serious. She threw her head back to stare at the bright blue sky above them. She could tell Holly was looking at her, but she couldn’t look back and still tell her the rest of the story. She wouldn’t have the strength to finish it seeing Holly’s face. 

“I was staying at McNally’s…Andy’s, so when the case finished, I was allowed to leave. Andy asked if I needed her to come with me home. I told her I’d be fine. She could go hang out at her boyfriend’s. I was hoping, to be honest, to get Nick to come over. We were…sort of seeing each other at the time. I got into the taxi, having stupidly said I was going home alone within earshot of the driver. I made it to McNally’s. I called Nick inside, but he didn’t answer. Then there was knock on the door. I had hoped it was him.”

Holly’s hand slipped into hers. 

“It wasn’t.”

She took a deep breath. There was a lump in her throat. She forced it back down. 

“He hit me with the door so hard I fell to the ground. I think I hit my head on the table or something. It was kind of a blur from then. I know I tried to get away, but he stuck me with something. Hit me with some sort of drug that made me pass out. I was told later on that McNally had decided to come home, to check on me, I guess. Well he hit her with the drug too, but he only took me.”

She closed her eyes. They started to sting with unshed tears. 

“The next bit is hazy. I remember that room, the one in the pictures. I was tied down at the wrists. I was blindfolded, and there was an IV in my arm. I can remember the sound of his shoes, wingtips, as they clicked on the concrete floor. He yelled at me about not telling me I was a cop. I was so out of it, I didn’t really understand what was going on except that he was trying to move me. I was so weak I struggled to even follow. And then…there was Jerry.”

She was full on crying now, head down, clinging to Holly’s hand with both hands. 

“He saved me. He had come to interview the driver and figured out that he was the murderer. Perik stabbed him. There was blood everywhere. I remember that. He tried to tackle him, but he was already so weak. I should have been able to do something. I should have helped him!”

Gail was shaking. Jerry’s face was a blur in her mind. 

“It turned out that when Jerry tackled him, he had slipped his phone in his pocket. They were able to trace it. They found me tied up in Perik’s trunk. I made it out alive. Jerry wasn’t so lucky.”

She opened her eyes to look at Holly through her tears. Holly’s tears were silent. They fogged up her glasses. Gail yearned to reach out and wipe them away, but she just squeezed Holly’s hand tighter. 

 

“He and Traci were going to get married. They were going to be a family, him, Traci, and Traci’s son Leo. I screwed that up for them. I’m the one who should have died, Holly. I’m not special. I’m not anyone’s someone. It should have been me!”

She was yelling at this point. People were glancing at them, awkwardly, but this was New York so hysterics in public didn’t make most people even flinch. 

“Gail.” Holly’s voice was soft. The urging in her name wasn’t to be quieter. It was an insistence that what she said wasn’t true, that Gail’s life was just as worthy as Jerry’s. It made her insides clinch. 

“I know, Holly,” she said. “Traci already gave me the ‘he died for something important’ speech, but it doesn’t make this inadequate feeling go away! The only thing I can do is try to make my life worthy of his sacrifice. And you know, Holly?”

Gail’s gaze burned into Holly’s. She felt like her lungs were on fire, and if she let go of Holly she might just burst into flames. 

“I don’t think I’m doing a very good job.”

Holly cleared her throat. “If you had died, we’d have never met.”

Gail stared blankly at her. Yes, she supposed that was true. 

“I’d be sad to have never met you, Gail Peck,” she said in a whisper, a small smile on her face. 

It made Gail’s stomach flip. “You wouldn’t know the difference.”

Holly shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’d know I was missing something important.”

This made Gail want to cry more. She had cried enough for today though. She shook her head, standing suddenly. She let go of Holly. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Gail said, walking down a few. She stopped and turned to look at Holly, who was frozen on the steps. “Please?”

Holly blinked, nodding. She pushed herself up to her feet. 

Gail led them back to the bus stop. They didn’t speak. They didn’t touch. They just waited. Strangers came to stand near them. Gail edged away from them, closer to Holly, who seemed to understand her discomfort, creating sort of a barrier with her body between Gail and everyone else. It was only when they filed onto the bus and Gail saw a few taxis pass by out the window that perhaps Holly had chosen to their method of transport more carefully than Gail had thought. 

Gail, once again, slipped her hand into Holly’s, who gripped it back tightly. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

She could hear the smile in the pathologist’s voice without seeing it. “Anytime.”

 

When they arrived back at the hotel, Gail could feel Holly’s hesitation. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to go to her room or follow Gail, so Gail took the decision away from her. 

“Come on, nerd,” she said, heading over to the elevators. “I need a drink, and I might have more liquor in my room.”

Holly chuckled. “How much alcohol do you have?”

“Enough,” Gail remarked. “At least for tonight.”

She’d feel better after a drink. She’d feel better after several drinks. 

“It’s not more tequila, is it?” Holly said with a flinch. “I don’t I can handle any more tequila.”

Gail shook her head. The elevator opened to her floor. “Nope, whiskey.”

Holly followed her to her room. Once inside, Gail went straight for the glasses. She paused. 

“Damn, whiskey is better with ice.”

Holly grabbed the ice bucket. “I’ll get it.”

Gail threw her the key card. “Don’t get lost this time!”

Holly glared at her as she left. Once the door shut, the weight of today crashed down on Gail. She took a swig of the warm whiskey. 

Gail suddenly became very nervous. This was starting to mirror last night. Did she want to go back down that road? The road with feelings she wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with?  
Her phone rang out. She dug it out of her pocket, glancing briefly at the caller ID. Mom.

Gail groaned. She didn’t have the energy to deal with her mother after all the emotions she had already dealt with today. So she let it ring out and let her voicemail answer her mother. 

The door opened. Holly held out the bucket triumphantly. “The ice is here!”

Gail smiled, taking it from her. She fished out some cubes into each tumbler. She was pouring the alcohol when her phone rang again. Mom.

She ignored it, handing Holly a glass. She clinked theirs together before draining hers. She went to refill it. 

Holly glanced at her, and then at the phone. She didn’t ask. Holly didn’t fish for information. She just took a sip of her drink. 

Gail huffed as her voicemail pinged. Her mother had left a message. Because of course Elaine Peck would not be ignored. If she couldn’t lecture Gail, she’d at least lecture her through her voicemail. 

Gail contemplated whether or not to listen to it. She went to sit on her bed, shedding her boots to sit cross-legged on the mattress. Holly mirrored her. Holly’s socks had cute little green skulls on them. 

Gail poked at them with a smile. 

“I like them,” Holly said. 

“So do I.”

Gail’s glance went back to her phone. She took a sip of her drink.

“You going to listen to your message?” Holly asked her. 

Gail gave her a noncommittal shrug. She knew she was in no mood to hear her mother’s voice or the lecture that she was sure to get, but the curiosity was itching at her. 

She chugged her whiskey and dialed her voicemail. 

“Gail, sweetie, pick up the phone! I know you’re ignoring me.” Her mother huffed. She always left a message like Gail was hearing it in real time. “Listen sweetheart, I wanted to talk to you about today, with Dr. Richard’s lecture.”

Wait, how had her mother known about that?

“I know it must have been hard to hear all that in such detail, but I think it would be rather good for you in the long run. Help you get over it, you know…”

Her mother continued, but Gail had stopped listening. Her mother had set her lecture schedule. She was superintendent. She had known Richard’s would be there. She had known what he was going to talk about. She had sent Gail in there, knowing full well what she was forcing her daughter to face. Her own mother had set her up. 

She threw her phone forcefully across the room. It didn’t matter if she broke it. She hoped she had. 

Holly’s hand came to grip her shin. “Gail, are you ok?”

Gail was shaking. She wasn’t upset this time. She was furious.

“My mother,” she said though it was more like she was spitting out the words, “My own mother sent me into that lecture hall knowing full well what that man was going to say. She let me go in there to be blindsided with my own abduction in a room full of people. I always knew she was a spiteful woman, but I never imagined…”

She trailed off in a wave of anger. She wanted to scream and cry and hit something. How fucking dare she?

Holly seemed taken aback. “What?”

Gail pulled away forcefully. She went straight for the whiskey bottle. She didn’t care if it were warm or not, she was going to drink it. She put the bottle to her mouth, got out a few gulps before Holly was there, pulling it out of her hand. 

“Gail, honey, don’t…”

Gail wasn’t sure why she did it. She was being self-destructive, so what was ruining a friendship?

She leaned up and kissed Holly. Her lips were rather forceful against Holly’s unyielding mouth. She pushed forward, tongue snaking out to urge Holly’s mouth open, and for a moment, the brunette seemed to cave. Her mouth opened, allowing Gail access. Her hands, somehow now devoid of the whiskey, found their way to Gail’s face. One cupped her jaw, the other snaked around the back of her neck. Her body forced Gail against the dresser. 

And just like that, she was gone again. 

When Gail’s eyes opened, Holly was now backed up. The backs of her shins were against the edge of the mattress. She was looking rather intensely at Gail, but her expression was unreadable. 

“I’m…” Gail faltered. She swallowed. That was more intense than she had bargained for, and sobering. 

Holly shook her head. “You don’t get to use me like that.”

Gail put her face in her hands. “I know. I’m sorry, Holly.”

“I mean,” Holly started to say, “I know I’m irresistible, but…”

Gail laughed humorlessly, sending Holly a look. She pushed herself off the dresser. “Seriously, though, that was wrong of me to do. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“Just because I’m a lesbian, doesn’t mean you get to take advantage of my sexuality when you’re going through something, ok?” Holly said pointedly. 

Gail nodded. “I’m really truly sorry, Holly.”

“Good.” 

They stared at each other for a moment. Both seemed to be asking the same question: what now?

“There’s another way,” Holly began, stepping towards Gail, “to blow off steam.”

Gail’s eyebrows shot up. Her stomach flipped. “Um…”

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Not like that, perv!”

“Alright, then, nerd, what did you have in mind?” 

They seemed to be back into their dynamic. Gail was glad that the stupid thing she’d done in reaction to her mother and today hadn’t ruined their friendship, hadn’t sent Holly running. Plus side being, however, that Gail found out what an excellent kisser the pathologist was. She tried not to think too hard about why that was a plus anything in her book. 

Holly had a mischievous smile on her face as she answered, “Dancing.”

\--

Nothing about today had been normal for Gail. Holly had left her to go change, promising to return only when Gail was done up enough to be seen with her. Gail had tried to make the effort to look nice, but she was sure no matter how much makeup she wore that her eyes were still puffy from crying. She was rather proud of herself when she opened the door for Holly and the brunette speechlessly ran her eyes over Gail. She was wearing a bright blue dress that hugged her curves and made her eyes stand out. It was the dress she always wore to impress. It seemed to be doing just that. 

“Decent enough for you?” she asked smugly. 

Holly swallowed, nodding. She had the expression of someone in a daze. 

“Not bad yourself,” Gail said her eyes trailing down the short skirted brown dress that accented Holly’s skin tone well. The neckline dipped down just enough to make wearing a bra problematic. Gail swallowed hard at that thought. “For a nerd, that is.”

Holly laughed. “Come on, I’ve got the perfect place for us.”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

Now they were standing outside a lesbian nightclub. Yup, she was regretting agreeing to this. Gail glanced at Holly.

“Really?”

Holly’s smile was wicked. “Yup, Officer Peck. Time for you to embrace my lesbian ways.”

Gail rolled her eyes. “Well show the way, oh-lesbian-guru.”

Holly spun on her feet, and Gail tried her best not to watch the way she moved in that brown dress. She shook the thought out of her head. 

They made their way to the queue, which was unreasonably long. Gail sighed. Standing in a line wasn’t a way to distress her. Holly smiled at her and took her hand, leading her around the line toward the front doors. Gail looked at her questioningly, but Holly ignored her, turning to talk to the bouncer. 

“Hey, is Luca in there?” she asked the large bald man leaning against the brick wall of the club’s entrance. Gail assessed he was ex-military from the way he stood. He side-eyed Holly and nodded gruffly. “Will you tell her Holly Stewart is here?”

He paused for a moment, his eyes running up and down Holly in a way Gail didn’t like at all, before he reached for his phone. He shot out a text. They didn’t have to wait very long before his phone beeped. 

He ushered them in with a tight smile. “Go on in, ladies.”

Holly thanked him, but Gail scowled at him as he followed their movements, or more specifically the brunette’s, inside. Soon though her attention was brought back to the bodies moving in front of them. Holly tugged at her arm, indicating the bar.

She nodded, allowing herself to be tugged through the crowd of dancing bodies towards the alcohol. Holly’s hips swayed as she walked, unconsciously moving more to the music. She really needed that drink. 

“Four shots of tequila, please,” Holly shouted to the bar tender. The woman nodded, moving towards the house liquors, but another woman stopped her. She was a tiny woman, petite. Her black hair was cut short. She wore a lose tank top that dipped down the middle of her chest, showing off the anatomical heart tattoo across her left breast. She reached for the high-end liquor, lining up the shot glasses in front of them. 

“Holly,” the woman said, smiling way too friendly at the pathologist. She glanced briefly at Gail before her eyes shot back to the pathologist. 

“Luca,” Holly said, taking the offered shot and placing it in front of Gail. 

Gail gladly took it. Holly smiled at her reassuringly and clinked their glasses. The burn of the tequila did nothing to quell the intensity burning inside Gail as the woman leaned across the bar, suggestively towards Holly. 

“Thanks,” Holly said, raising her other shot. She passed Gail the last one without glancing away from Luca. 

“Anything for my favorite lady,” Luca said. Her voice was hoarse. She sounded like she smoked a few packs a day to get that gruff. Holly rolled her eyes, but there was an embarrassed flush in her cheeks. 

Gail frowned downing her shot without waiting. Luca’s eyes finally moved to study Gail, who jutted her chin out rather challengingly. Luca’s smirk only infuriated her more. 

“Who is your friend, Hols?” Luca asked, placing a hand on Holly’s forearm. 

Holly appeared uneasy as she glanced between the two. “Luca, this is Gail. Gail, Luca.”

“Pleasure,” Luca said, not sounding pleased in the least. 

“Mmm,” Gail said in return. She didn’t trust herself to say more than that. 

“Luca here owns this club,” Holly continued. 

“Cool,” Gail responded, rather unimpressed. 

“Me and Holly here used to date,” Luca informed her, eyes never leaving the brunette. 

“Yes, before you abandoned me for the night club life,” Holly said. 

Luca grabbed a tumbler, beginning to make some sort of drink. She grabbed a bottle of rum. “Biggest mistake of my life.”

Holly chuckled. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”

Luca hummed, but didn’t respond. Instead she placed two drinks in front of them both. “So how do you two know each other?”

“We met on a plane,” Holly said, shooting the cop another smile. 

Gail couldn’t help return it. She moved a bit closer to the scientist, taking hold of the drink. She eyed the pink blend a moment, before taking a considerable drink from it. It tasted sweet, almost candy like, but not too overwhelmingly sugary. 

“So you’re here for the conference?” Luca asked Gail. 

Gail’s insides went cold. It must have translated to her face because Luca shot a questioning look at Holly. Holly wasn’t paying attention to her ex though. Her hand closed around Gail’s bicep. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m a cop,” Gail finally said, taking another large sip of her drink. 

Luca nodded. She was leaning against the backside of the bar now, her arms crossed over her chest. Gail felt herself being studied as the tiny woman’s eyes roamed from Holly to Gail. 

“Well, you two enjoy your night,” Luca said, pushing herself up. “I should get back to work. Hey, Tina!” 

The bar tender looked up. 

“These two drink on the house tonight, alright?” 

Holly moved to protest, but Gail caught her. “Thank you.”

Luca nodded to them. “Enjoy yourselves, ladies.”

“It’s good to see you, Luca,” Holly called out as she took Gail’s hand to lead them away from the bar. 

“You too, gorgeous,” Luca called back. As Holly turned away, Luca winked at Gail. 

Holly’s hand was warm in her own as she tugged the blonde through the mass of people. They finally found an open standing table and placed their drinks on it, claiming it as their own.

Gail tried not to gaze too much at the way Holly’s dress dipped down the front as she leaned against the table.

“How do you know Luca?” Gail couldn’t help the question that immediately popped out of her mouth. 

Holly frowned. “We dated. I said that.”

Gail shook her head. “Not what I meant.”

“Luca and I went to pre-med together,” Holly said, “That is until, she decided to move to New York instead.” 

“That’s an odd jump,” Gail remarked. She didn’t like this Luca one bit. Who would up and leave someone like Holly?

Holly shrugged. She finished her drink and waved a waiter over. She ordered them both another. 

“Do you want to dance?” the pathologist asked suddenly. Gail blinked. She obviously was done talking about her ex. 

So when their drinks arrived, they headed to the floor. Holly grasped Gail’s hand and led her through the masses. It took a while, pushing through the crowd until they found an open space where Holly twirled Gail in front of her. It made Gail laughed at the unexpected strength from the brunette. Her smile faded quickly though as Holly started to move. 

Her hips swayed, her skirt flouncing with every move. She kept her hand in Gail’s, tugging her a bit closer. Gail was so memorized she almost forgot she was supposed to be moving as well. 

“What’s wrong, Officer?” Holly’s breath brushed against her ear as she leaned in to be heard. “Two left feet?”

Gail shook her head, letting out a slow breath. She tried to let all her nerves flow out of her as she began to dance. The long sip of alcohol she took also helped. 

Soon, they had both finished their drinks, had gotten more, and were much further away from sober. All the alcohol spinning around in their systems caused them to dance a bit closer, until Gail’s back was pressed fully against Holly’s front. 

The brunette’s arm wrapped around Gail’s stomach, fingers splayed along her stomach, guiding her with every sway of her hips. Her head lolled back onto Holly’s shoulder. She could feel Holly’s lips against the space where her neck met her shoulder. She hummed at the sensation. Holly must have felt the vibrations because she chose that moment to lift her head. 

They locked eyes. Holly leaned in a bit, but hesitated halfway through. Gail ever so slowly inched forward until their lips brushed. It seemed to spark something in Holly because in that instance she pushed her lips against the blonde’s. 

Gail’s hand reached around losing itself in Holly’s hair, holding her closer. Holly pulled her back so their bodies were absolutely flushed against one another. They were no longer dancing. 

Her head was swimming. She couldn’t focus on anything, but the way Holly’s lips felt against her own. She wanted, needed more. When her tongue slipped into Holly’s open mouth, she felt the moan shake from the brunette’s chest. 

Holly’s hand brushed the underside of her breast. Her whole body felt on fire. She spun around in the brunette’s arms, briefly breaking their kiss only to pull the other woman back towards her. Holly’s arms wrapped back around her waist, settling her hands on the small of Gail’s back. Gail clutched at her hair and neck. She’d never felt the need to be closer to someone than she did in that moment. 

It was the flush of heat spreading throughout her body, heading very south, that finally made her come back to her senses. She pulled back, stepping as far back from Holly as possible with all the people still moving around them. 

Holly’s eyes were wide. The deep brown had turned dark in arousal. She was frozen with her hands still out around where Gail had just been standing. She was stunned, her mouth slightly open. 

They stared at each other.


	7. Chapter 7

Gail’s breath was haggard. Holly’s face was stuck into a mixture of shock and awe that Gail was sure she was returning. The pathologist slowly let her arms down, hands dangling uselessly at her side. 

Gail swallowed. She knew she was going to have to make a decision. It was either give in to these feelings or back out now. Ultimately when her eyes ran over Holly, the other woman coming out of her daze a bit to give her that lopsided smile, pushed Gail towards her choice. It was never really going to be another from the time she had sat down beside her on that plane. 

She took a few confident steps towards her. Holly was rooted to the spot on the floor, waiting for Gail. So when the blonde closed the space between them, Holly let her, the lopsided smile spreading across her face. Gail’s hands came to rest on the brunette’s cheeks. The brown eyes staring at her were filled with a question. 

Gail leaned in, kissing the smile off her face in answer. Holly started in surprise, before she wrapped her arms around Gail’s waist, pulling the cop so their bodies were flush. It felt good to kiss her, to be this close. Gail ran her hands over the curve of Holly’s neck, letting them tangle into her hair. Holly’s palms traveled the length of Gail’s back. 

God, all Gail wanted was to draw Holly in, to be even closer to this fantastic woman than they were now. The realization caused her to draw back.

Holly was opened mouthed in front of her. Her eyes were still closed, face serene like kissing Gail was the most pleasurable thing she could think of. Gail couldn’t help but step into her again, stroking the side of her face with the barest of fingertips. Holly’s eyes opened with the gesture. She smiled softly at Gail. 

“Come on,” Gail said, her voice was husky and even over the base beating around them, she could feel Holly’s shiver. Her own heart was pounding in her ears, out of time with the music. She could feel Holly’s pulse thundering as she grabbed her wrist, and ushered them both through the crowd. 

Gail spotted Luca behind the bar, watching them as they got closer to the door. The raven-haired woman had a wry smile on her face. She nodded to Gail, who nodded back for what reason she was unclear. 

“Goodnight ladies,” the creepo bouncer said in his gruff voice. Gail scowled at him as she tugged Holly quickly past. 

They hurried toward the subway stop, Gail still leading Holly by the wrist. It was only when they got to the platform that Holly drew her hand back. 

“Gail, I…” she started to say, but Gail tugged at her waist, drawing her back in for a kiss. This one was slower. The rush of music and dancing left behind at the bar, allowing their hearts to beat steadier. The thundering beat in Gail’s ears turned into waves of ocean, slow and steady, lapping up at the shore. It was calming, almost. 

They were interrupted as the train pulled up. Gail broke away, and guided Holly onto the car. Gail wasn’t sure of the time, but the train was fairly empty for the city. She had always assumed New York ran around the clock, people always on the move no matter the hour. 

The emptiness made for a silent ride. She and Holly sat, side-by-side, hands on the seats only centimeters apart. Holly was gazing straight ahead, a serious crease forming between her eyebrows; but when Gail moved her hand across that space, allowing their pinkies to cross, a small smile quirked at the corner of her mouth. 

They didn’t speak when they got off the train, nor on the walk back, nor in the lobby, it was only when they were standing outside Holly’s hotel room that they even turned to look at one another. Holly swallowed. Gail watched the way her neck moved, having the sudden urge to run her tongue along the contours. 

“Gail,” Holly said, pushing Gail forcefully out of her daydream. She licked her lips, her eyes glazed over with thoughts as she took in Holly. The pathologist smiled at her from where she was leaning in the doorframe. She bit her lip, as she ran her eyes over Gail’s body. 

Gail swallowed at the hungry look on Holly’s face. She knew where this was leading, and her legs felt like lead. Was this where she wanted this to go? So soon? 

The brunette stepped forward, but Gail backed away. She tried not to feel anything about the way Holly’s face fell. 

“Oh, so, that’s how we’re gonna do this,” Holly said. Her voice was quiet and filled with disappointment. 

“Holly, I…” Gail started to say, but Holly held up a hand. 

Her smile was small and tight. “We were drunk. It happens. I have a presentation to give tomorrow morning anyway. I should get some sleep.”

She was doing everything to not look at Gail. “Have a goodnight, Gail.”

And before Gail could say anything else, Holly turned and disappeared into her hotel room. The cop stood there watching the closed door for a while. Should she knock? If she did, what would she say? More importantly: what would she do? She scoffed. She knew exactly what she would do.

It was that thought alone that had her retreating to the elevators. Coward.

She stared at the ceiling when she finally got back to her room. What was wrong with her? Holly was amazing, and she just brushed her off like that. She took the easy way out, the one away from feelings. 

She closed her eyes. Her lips tasted like tequila, rum, and Holly’s lips. When she finally fell asleep, it was to the image of Holly, beautiful Holly, startled from kissing her friend, lopsided smile appearing on her face.

 

When Gail had woken up, at first she hadn’t remembered the night before, only that she was going to be late for her first lecture if she didn’t get up soon. It was when she was in the shower, letting the water cascade around her that the feelings of Holly’s lips on her own as their hips swayed flooded her mind. 

She braced herself against the wall. Damn, she was a good kisser. She felt a rush of arousal. Her bottom lip slipped inside her mouth, teeth biting down on it. She couldn’t help, but run her hands over her body to try and release some of the tension in her muscles. 

Her mind wandered, Holly pushing her against the tiled wall, kissing her neck, tongue running along the pulse point, feeling just how she made Gail’s heart race. She would slip her hand between them, slipping them through Gail’s folds teasingly. 

Gail’s own fingers followed the path, pushing her own fingers to stroke her folds. Her other hand traveled to her breast, squeezing and pinching as she imagined Holly’s mouth enveloping her nipple. 

God, she was so close already. If Holly made her feel this way in her thoughts, imagine if she was really touching her with adept hands and tongue. 

In her mind, Holly’s tongue traveled down her ribs, over her stomach, until she was a breath away from where Gail needed her most. She shot that lopsided grin at her before her tongue ran up Gail’s folds to circle her clit. 

Gail’s head hit the tiled wall as her hand moved faster between her legs. Her whole body tingled, rising higher and higher as the image of Holly between her legs flitted across the back of her eyelids. The ghost of Holly’s tongue, coupled with her own fingers, shattered her at the peak. Her whole body arched into her hand, every nerve ending exploding to tingle through her fingertips. 

She tried to catch her breath, bending over. She felt dizzy, from the heat, the orgasm, the images of a naked Holly. That was what she could have had last night. The real Holly could have been here this morning kneeling before her in the shower. 

She cursed, turning the shower on cold. 

She was late to the first lecture. She didn’t really care though. She wasn’t really paying much attention to it, anyway. All she could think of was Holly. Kissing Holly, Holly between her legs, Holly’s tongue on her neck, Holly’s hands on her ass. She felt every inch of her skin was yearning for the pathologist. 

She put her head in her hands. She was in this deep now. 

Her phone blasted out You Shook Me All Night Long. She jumped, scrambling to shut it off. Maybe she’d remember tomorrow to shut the damn thing off. That’s when it hit her. Today was it. This was the last day of lectures. She would leave tomorrow morning, and so would Holly. The scientist would go back to Ottawa, and Gail would never see her again. The thought of never seeing Holly again filled Gail with nausea. How had someone so quickly seeped inside her, pushed past her walls with a casual stroll? 

A New Message from the Nerdbian: 11 am middle lecture hall. Be there or be square.

She rolled her eyes. Only Holly still used that expression, only Holly and moms. She was such a dweeb. 

It was comforting though that even after last night Holly still wanted to talk to her. Still wanted her to be there for her lecture. 

Am I gonna learn things? :/

The answer was immediate. We all have to make sacrifices, Peck. 

Gail bit her lip. At least the presenter is pretty to look at. 

She hesitated a moment before she sent that. It was a few moments longer before she got an answer. Oh is that right?

She smiled. Damn sexy if truth be told. 

I’ll keep that in mind. 

You should. I certainly have been all morning. She paused a moment before smirking. In the shower to be specific. 

What exactly have you been thinking of?

She imagined Holly in her hotel room, notes for her lecture spread around her. Shouldn’t you be studying up?

I’m prepared.

I don’t want a subpar lecture because of me. 

You are such a tease, Peck. You can’t tell a girl you were thinking of her in the shower, and then expect her to concentrate on her notes. 

Gail let out a breathy laugh. She liked teasing Holly a bit. She knew she was threading a thin line, but she couldn’t help it, especially not after this morning. Every inch of her needed Holly. 

You kneeling between my legs. 

It was almost a minute before Holly answered. So long Gail was starting to worry. Jesus, Gail.

Gail felt a thrill rush through her. That was exactly the reaction she wanted from Holly. Hands on my naked ass. Pressing me against the tiles. 

Fuck. Where were your hands?

Gail glanced around. Was she really about to sext in the middle of a lecture hall?

What’re you doing? She typed back.

What do you think I’m doing, Gail? The answer was almost immediate. 

Something nerdy?

Gail…

Reading?

My hand’s between my legs is that what you want to hear?

The rush of arousal was back. My hands were in your hair. 

No. Not in your fantasy. On your body.

Gail flushed. The same place yours are. Between my legs. 

She glanced around, bolder now when she realized no one was paying her any attention. Running my fingers through my folds.

Jesus Gail.

Imagining you were swirling your tongue around my clit.

The whole room decided at that moment to get up. Gail jumped in surprise. She guessed the lecture had ended while she wasn’t paying attention. She rushed to gather her things. 

Her phone beeped. Gail?

She didn’t look at her phone again until she had put her stuff into her bag, and was following the rest of the people out. She shielded her screen as she read the concurrent stream of messages. 

Gail?

Seriously, Gail?

You can’t do this to me Gail!!!

Groans. And not in the good way. 

Gail let out a breathy laugh as she typed her response. Sorry, nerd, lecture ended. Which reminds me don’t you need to get ready for your own?

Shit. I hate you right now. 

Gail wanted to hear Holly curse, preferably while underneath her. 

How bout I take you out after your lecture, nerd? Would that make it better?

I’d prefer you’d take me in ;)

Gail was sure her face turned scarlet. I’m not making arrests today, nerdbian, but maybe later I’ll break out the handcuffs. 

Gail realized she wasn’t even paying attention to where she was going. Man, she was in this deep. The threat of never seeing Holly again weighed on her mind. It rushed her into doing something about the way she was feeling, and yes maybe it helped to know it would probably end tomorrow. She could do a casual one-night stand, couldn’t she?

I might hold you to that, Officer.

 

Now 11 am, Gail sat down in the middle hall. Her seat was, for once, close to the front. She wanted the best seat in the house to see the nerdiness unfold. 

The lights dimmed in the seating area as the stage lights came on. The general noise of people around her turned into hushed whispers and eventual silence as Holly walked out on stage. 

She was such a sexy nerd. She stood tall behind the podium, glasses a bit askew, blue blouse open just enough to cause Gail’s stomach to flutter. 

She smiled out at the crowd. “Coronary Atherosclerosis: An Anatomy of an Autopsy.”

And that was about all Gail understood. The nerd was strong with Holly that much was apparent. Sure, Gail had known this before, but watching her up on that stage, gesturing wildly and excitedly about whatever she was saying secured that for her. She even had a laser pointer and slides. It was all very cute. 

This woman had steamrolled into Gail’s life in the most casual of ways, slow but impactful. She understood Gail in a way no one had ever been able. And of course, this would happen with someone who didn’t even live anywhere near Gail. She would be the one to cause that skipping heartbeat, the heat which spread through Gail at a single glance from the pathologist. 

The longer she sat there watching Holly, the more she wanted her, the more anxiety was building inside her. No, she could do casual. She knew she could. She had before. But this was Holly; this woman had knocked her over with that lopsided smile. Could she leave the pathologist behind once she had her?

By the time the lecture was over and Holly had thanked everyone for coming, Gail was no closer to an answer. She waited as a multitude of people swarmed Holly, asking her questions about her lecture. Gail sat patiently in her seat, smiling as Holly’s eyes continually darted over to her. 

Finally, Holly managed to move past all her fans to come stand in front of Gail. The fluttering in Gail’s stomach seemed to match the nervous smile on Holly’s face. They stared at each other, unsure what to say to the other. 

Gail slowly stood up. They were inches apart. Holly’s eyes cast down. 

“Did you enjoy the lecture?” Holly asked, her face flushing a bit. 

Gail laughed. “You are such a nerd.”

Holly looked up at her with a wry smile. “You already knew that.”

“Yeah, but you just spent an hour proving me correct.”

Holly raised an eyebrow. “Is that all you got out of my talk?”

Gail nodded. “Pretty much. The rest was all too many big words for me to handle.”

She got a ‘really?’ look in return. “You aren’t dumb, Gail.”

“Well it was that or tell you it was boring,” Gail responded, “And I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or anything.”

Holly laughed. “I thought other people’s feelings weren’t your concern?”

Gail stepped forward into Holly’s space. “But you’re not ‘other people’, nerd. You’re my people.”

"Hmm," Holly said with a tiny quirk on the corner of her mouth. "I guess you're my people too."

"As I should be," Gail remarked far more confidently than she felt. 

“Alright, cocky, I was promised food,” Holly said, taking Gail's hand to pull her towards the auditorium door. “And you should deliver on that."

"You're so needy," Gail said, throwing her head back dramatically, but followed her out nonetheless. She tried not to dwell too much on how Holly's hand lingered on her wrist as she tugged her towards the lobby. 

\-----

“So today is it,” Holly said casually as she poked her fries into her ketchup, glancing up at Gail. They were sitting in the back of a hole in the wall pub eating fries and burgers. The bar was under street level, and the lights were dim. It made it seem like time was speeding towards them and night was already there. Gail didn’t want to think about what would happen after tonight. 

She glanced up at the beautiful woman sitting in front of her. Holly was smiling lazily at her. It was a smile of someone who had a bit of beer before she’d eaten that burger and the food hadn’t quite caught up with her blood stream yet. It made Gail smile back. 

Her smile faded though as she responded, “Yeah, it is.”

“You ready to get away from all the nerdiness?” Holly offered, her gaze dropping back to her food. She wasn’t eating anymore, it seemed, just pushing her food around in circles. 

Gail suddenly felt nauseous. She pushed the plate of fries away, avoiding Holly’s glance up in surprise. “I guess.”

The cop felt a small jab to her calf under the table. Holly smiled at her. “Come on now, Officer, don’t tell me you’ve grown fond of us?”

Gail scoffed. “I’ll be glad to get back to catching criminals rather than sitting in lecture halls that’s for sure.”

Leaning back in her chair, Holly studied Gail. She gestured accusingly at her with a French fry. “You just want your gun back.”

She groaned. “God, yes. I feel naked without it!”

“Now we wouldn’t want that,” Holly said, taking a bite out of the fry. 

Gail raised an eyebrow at that. A smirk couldn’t help but twitch on the side of her lips as she met those deep brown eyes. “You wish, Stewart.”

“Mmmm,” Holly hummed. Gail wasn’t sure if that was agreement or avoidance, but didn’t have a chance to ask as Holly stood abruptly. “Come on back to the trenches, we go.”

Gail groaned, dragging her chair slowly back. “Do we have to? Can’t we just play hooky?”

“Gail,” Holly said, “That’s what we’ve been doing most days, if you’ll recall.”

“I’m a terrible influence on you, nerd,” the blonde said as she stood. She deposited money enough to cover both their meals plus tip onto the table. 

Holly smiled at her, briefly touching her bicep as she past her. The touch didn’t linger however, and they stood at a reasonable distance from one another as they left. 

“So long as I don’t acquire your eating habit,” the pathologist remarked as they walked out onto the street. 

“You couldn’t handle it.” Gail patted her stomach. 

“Or your wardrobe,” Holly continued eyeing Gail’s outfit. 

“HEY!”

 

It was painfully obvious after lunch and two more lectures together that they just weren't going to talk about last night. Or the sexting. They had graduated back to the way things had always been between them: vaguely disguised flirting with a heavy dose of sarcasm and friendly banter. The only difference is Holly had barely touched her the rest of the day. The cop had never been a very touchy-feely kind of person, but she had gotten used to the pathologist's careful and caring touches. 

Gail really wasn't sure what to make of these mixed signals Holly was giving her. Maybe she really wasn't into Gail like Gail had thought. Maybe this was her way of saving Gail the humiliation that her sexting might bring. 

"Gail?" Holly's voice interrupted her racing thoughts. 

They had just finished their last lecture of the day, and were making their way lazily towards the elevators. Gail, at least, was stalling for more time with the brunette. 

"Huh?" 

Holly laughed. "You haven't been paying attention at all have you?"

Gail ducked her head sheepishly. "No, sorry, I was...distracted."

"Thinking about what?" Holly asked. 

You. Gail shrugged.

Holly bumped their shoulders. "So what I was saying was: what are you wearing tonight?"

Gail blinked, stopping in the hallway. It took a moment before Holly realized the blonde wasn't beside her anymore. She stopped ahead of her turning back with a concerned look. 

"Gail?"

"Tonight?" Gail asked. What the hell was Holly talking about? What was going on tonight? Had they planned something?

Holly sighed, rolling her eyes with a fond smile on her face. "Of course you forgot. The closing gala, remember? We all dress up and get drunk in the ballroom and stumble back to our rooms drunk, some of us not alone."

She winked at the cop. Gail felt her face flush a little, and hoped Holly simply took it as embarrassment over forgetting the gala. 

"Right, I forgot," Gail said with a groan. She flung her arms out at her sides, tilting her head back as she continued to walk to the elevators. "The schmoozing and networking are totally my favorite parts of being a cop."

Holly regarded her for a moment, before pressing the up button. "You had to go to a lot of these, huh?"

"Holly, I've been going to these events all my life," Gail said. The elevator arrived, empty, and they stepped inside. Gail pushed her floor button and Holly's. "All it is is a bunch of people showboating and bragging, thinking they're a better cop than anyone else in the room."

They arrived at Gail's floor. The doors opened, and she cast a glance back at the brunette. "Meet you at the bar? Around 7?"

Holly nodded, sticking her hands casually into the back of her pants pockets. Gail turned to leave, now with the unpleasant thought of picking out an outfit that will undoubtedly invoke idiots like the Captain to comment upon, when Holly called out to her. 

She turned, and Holly was suddenly there in front of her. So close, Gail almost stepped back out of instinct, but hands came to close on her wrists, holding her in place. 

"Holls?" Her voice was barely a whisper. 

The brunette blinked, seemingly unsure of why she was standing there. "I just..." 

She leaned in, Gail's breathing hitched, and placed a long kiss on the blonde's cheek. When she pulled back, her head was ducked down. "I'll see you tonight."

And with that she was gone. Back down the hallway and into the elevator. Gail stood frozen on the dulling red carpet, feeling as though her face was starting to match the color. She let out a shaky breath. 

It was as she made it inside her room that she remember what tonight would mean. She wondered what Holly was going to be wearing. The images of her in that brown skirt, fluttered into her mind. She swallowed, running her fingers down her cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

Gail took a lot of care in getting ready. She stared at herself in the mirror, applying a bit more mascara to her drooping lashes. Taking a step back, she smoothed down her skirt, brushing away the wrinkles as if she could push away her nerves along with them. Her dress was black with a bateau neckline and a pencil skirt, which came to a rest a little above her knees. Not conservative, but not slutty, she had met the fine line of skirt lengths between the two. She put on the stylish red pumps with their pointed toes. Finally she put on her simple diamond stud earrings. They had been a present from her parents when she had turned 18. They were her favorites, and she needed the comfort they offered now. 

Satisfied that this was about as good as she was going to get, she grabbed her clutch and headed out of her room to the elevators. When the doors opened, Arnie Olsen stood there in full black suit with a crisp white shirt and baby blue tie. He whistled when he saw her, taking her hands and placing a kiss on each of her cheeks in greeting. She couldn’t help the smile on her face. 

“Well now, Gail Peck, we’ve got to stop meeting like this. People might talk,” he said as he held her at an arms length to study her dress, “Don’t you clean up nicely. For a cop that is.”

“I look fabulous, and you know it,” she responded, leaning over to hit the button for her floor. She side-eyed him. “I guess you look alright. For an ash breather.”

He let out a breathy laugh. “I’ll have you know I look fabulous as well.”

“I guess the ladies like that,” Gail responded. “The whole firefighter thing, I guess, gets some of them.”

He cast her a sly smile as the elevator opened onto their floor. “The boys too.” 

Her eyebrows shot up so fast it made her dizzy. Arnie just winked at her and stepped out onto the floor. “Hey, you aren’t the only one with secrets, Peck.”

The doors began to close on her before she realized. She stepped out quickly, going to take Arnie’s offered arm. “Well, aren’t we a pair.”

“The human race should be honored to have us open up our romantic pools,” he said as they strutted forward. Gail couldn’t help but notice the heads turning in their direction. 

“Now who said I have?” She tried to be affronted at his assumption, but she couldn’t manage it. 

Arnold frowned at her. “Gail, come on.”

She sighed. “Fine, maybe I have.”

They entered the ballroom. It was a large space with a dance floor set up in front of a stage. The stage had a podium where important people would make important speeches later on in the evening. She hoped to skip all that. There was a DJ off to the side of the stage, who was currently playing soft classical music. In the center of the room, there was a large circular bar. Gail pulled Arnie towards it, dodging people and the circular tables set up throughout the space. 

“Whiskey on the rocks,” she said immediately as the bartender looked up at her. 

“Same,” Arnie said, leaning against the counter. He shot a charming smile to the barman who blushed. 

Gail nudged him with her shoulder with a laugh. “Don’t flirt with the staff!”

“I promise nothing,” he replied as he took their drinks from the bartender with a wink and a tip. 

He handed Gail her drink. She was itching to ask him one question, one question that was the most important to her in the revelation that he liked both sexes as well. She just didn’t know how or if she even wanted the answer.

Arnie took a big gulp of his drink as Gail stared at him. She bit her lower lip. 

“Just ask, Gail,” he said finally sick of her blue eyes following him. He turned away from her to look solemnly at the bottles lined on shelves behind the bar. 

“Have you…uh…” she faltered. 

“Told Steve?” he offered, glancing at her. 

She nodded, the bottom of her glass suddenly very interesting. Her brother’s opinion was the most important to her, more so than her parents, more so than her colleagues. She needed to know whether or not they’d be ok. Arnie sighed, turning so his side was against the bar. She felt him studying her, but she didn’t meet his gaze. 

“No, I haven’t,” he said. “I just…” 

He swirled his whiskey in the glass, before draining it. He signaled the bartender for another. 

“I get it,” Gail said with a nod. “I can’t imagine that conversation…”

She drained her glass as well, grabbing the one the bartender was handing Arnie. He glared at her and ordered another. 

“Are you…” he hesitated. 

“Am I what?” 

He pursed his lips, his jaw muscles tightening. “Is this a just her thing or what?”

Gail shrugged. “I have no idea.”

Arne studied her for a moment, and she thought perhaps he wouldn’t take that as an answer. Instead, he just nodded, turning back to the bar. Gail bit her lip, lost in thought. Was this just a Holly thing? Maybe. Maybe not. She wasn’t sure she’d never been attracted to another woman before, but if she had it had never hit her as hard as Holly Stewart had. Holly felt like a punch in the gut, all the air rushing out of her lungs, spinning her around so fast she was dizzy. No one had ever waltz into her life quite like Holly had. 

“Gail,” Arnie said quietly, nudging her. 

She turned to scowl at him, but he wasn’t even looking at her. Instead his gaze was on someone across the room. When Gail followed it, that dizzy feeling hit her again. Holly was like a one, two punch. She was in a form fitting red dress with black heels. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, framing her lovely face. Her glasses were nowhere to be seen, and her eyes were locked on Gail. 

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that’s your someone?” Arnie said his voice a bit of a daze. 

Gail nodded absently not trusting her voice not to crack, or perhaps some drool to escape. Holly started to head towards them, never letting her sights off of Gail. 

Gail turned back to her drink, taking a deep breath. She brought the whiskey up to her lips, downing the rest. The alcohol warmed its way down her chest, spreading overtop her racing heart. She had to control herself, or she just might burst. 

A hand closed on her shoulder. When she turned, Holly was there. Lop-sided smile spread across that wonderful face. It was infectious. 

“Hey,” Gail greeted, turning to face her fully. 

“Hey,” Holly said, her voice soft. 

Gail could never stop looking at Holly, just looking. Every time there was something new. She’d notice a freckle she hadn’t seen before or the way her eyes sparkled when she said something she thought especially clever. 

Arnie cleared his throat, cutting Gail abruptly off from her observations. He was smiling at her in a way she did not like at all. It rang too much of arrogance, like what was happening in front of him was exactly as he thought. She hated proving him right. 

“Uh, Doctor Holly Stewart meet Fireman Arnie Olsen,” Gail introduced, waving her hand from one to the other. 

Holly gave him a polite smile, offering her hand for him. Arnie took it, shaking her hand with a big smile on his face. 

“I’ve heard loads about you, Doctor Holly Stewart,” he told her as Gail shot him a ‘shut your mouth’ look. 

Holly laughed, glancing at Gail as the blush on her pale face grew. “You have huh?”

Arnie placed his other hand over top of hers, drawing her attention back. “All good things, don’t you worry, and from Gail Peck that certainly is a rarity. Believe me, we’ve known each other over a decade.”

“So you knew the tiny Gail?” Holly asked, suddenly seeming very intrigued by the possibility of learning more about young Gail.

“Yes, she was a handful then too,” he said, laughing at the shove Gail gave him. “Adorable though with those blonde pigtails.”

Gail took hold of Holly and began to pull her away. “That’s it! We’re leaving! Goodbye, ash-breather!”

“Oh come on now, Gail!” Arnie called after them, but did not move to follow. “I didn’t tell her anything embarrassing. Like the time you got gum in your hair and chop off an entire braid thinking you could hide it!”

Gail growled, pulling at Holly harder, so much that the pathologist stumbled in her heels. 

“Sorry,” Gail muttered, helping to steady her. Holly was shaking. Gail was concerned for a moment before she realized it was from laughing. She scowled. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” Holly replied. She poked at Gail’s side. “You like me.”

“Huh?” Gail looked up so fast she thought she got whiplash. 

Holly smirked. “You say nice things about me. You don’t say nice things about people.”

“Yeah, well,” Gail grumbled. “People are dumb.”

Holly continued poking her in the side. “You like me!”

Gail swatted at her hand. “Whatever, nerd, I need another drink before those speeches start.”

She ignored the fluttering in her stomach, trying to drown it out with the champagne she swiped from a nearby waiter. She handed the other glass to Holly, who took it with a smile. 

“Are you ok?” Holly asked, noting how jittery Gail seemed to have gotten all of a sudden. She was nervous. Gail knew it was probably evident from the way she couldn’t seem to maintain eye contact with Holly that the pathologist probably had caught on to what was going on. 

“Mmhmm,” Gail hummed, taking hold of another champagne flute and dumping her empty one. God, she needed as much alcohol as she could manage tonight. 

“Hey,” Holly said, taking hold of Gail’s wrist as the champagne made it halfway to her mouth. “Maybe slow down a bit, yeah?”

Gail scowled, jerking her hand away and took a defiantly large swig. Holly rolled her eyes in response with a long sigh. 

“Fine, Gail, get drunk if you want,” she said sipping her own drink, “But I won’t be holding your hair, or prevent you from sleeping with the first cute boy you find.”

She was such a thickly headed nerd. Oblivious to what was right in front of her. What did Gail have to do? Spell out her interest in the sky?

“Nerd,” Gail said so soft and serious that Holly’s teasing smile faded. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

Holly tilted her head to the side. She didn’t understand at all. 

“I thought you were a lesbian, Holly!” she said exasperated at this point. She was pretty sure she knew how Holly felt about her. “You can’t even tell when a woman likes you!”

“I know you like me, Gail,” Holly responded. “We’re friends.”

She was so thick. It was almost adorable as it was frustrating. “I don’t mean friend like, you idiot.”

Holly opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted as a man implored them to find their seats among the tables. The speeches were to begin soon, and then the food brought out. 

Gail Peck had never cursed the timing of food before this moment. 

They weren’t seated anywhere near each other. Holly was over with the other forensic nerds, while Gail had the lovely spot of right beside the Captain. Gail shot a look over to Holly’s table. Holly grimaced when she saw where Gail had to sit. 

The speeches were long and drawn out and utterly boring. Gail spent most of the time trying to sneakily glance over at Holly or swatting at the Captain’s wandering hand. She gritted her teeth as his hand tried to casually move to her knee. 

She leaned forward to tell him under her breath, “If you put your hand there one more time, sir, you’ll remove it with broken fingers. Rank or not.”

His hand slithered its way back to his waist. They clapped for whatever the man on stage had just said. Gail did not. She sipped from her glasses and snuck a look across the room, only to find Holly already looking at her. They shared a conspiratorial smile. 

Dinner was served then. It was steak with carrots and potatoes. Nothing terribly fancy, but delicious all the same. The cops Gail was sitting with tried in vain to strike up conversations with her. They asked about her parents, her brother, and 15 division. She answered as shortly as she could without seeming rude. 

“So Peck,” Staff Sergeant Ernie Cox said, folding his arms over his large stomach, patting it satisfyingly. 

Her head jerked up at her name. She hadn’t been listening again. Instead she had been playing with her phone under the table, contemplating texting Holly and whether or not she’d reply. “Sir?” 

“You have someone special?” he asked thoughtfully. He was a nice older man, friends with her father. He ran 27 division in Toronto, so she encountered him at all her parents' parties. He was the person she could most stand at this table, so she didn’t take the question too harshly. Except she needed to word this very carefully for it might leak back to Elaine, and she really didn’t want that to happen. 

She opened her mouth to answer, but found her gaze drawn across the room. Holly was laughing at something her colleague was saying. It was a genuine laugh, head thrown back, uncaring in its authenticity. Her eyes did this cute crinkly thing when she fought smiling and laughing at the same time. 

“Peck?”

Ernie’s gruff voice brought her back. Her cheeks flushed. She hoped they blamed the alcohol. 

“Um, my first love will always be the job, sir,” Gail replied, sinking a bit in her chair, embarrassed. 

He nodded, but eyed her like he didn’t quite believe her. “A very Peck answer.”

She swallowed and didn’t say anything. She needed to get out of there. She glanced down at the time, but instead found a message waiting for her. 

Nerdbian: Coat check, 5 mins. Byob.

Gail smiled, chancing another glance across the room to find Holly getting up from her table. She met Gail’s eyes briefly across the room to give her that lop-sided smile. Gail’s heart melted.

She cleared her throat while she stood abruptly. Everyone at the table looked up at her in question. She glanced around at them, though she didn’t care much for their opinions on her. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I…,” she trailed off not really caring to even finish her sentence. She watched Holly as she moved past a waiter cart, bumping into the waiter in her haste. It wasn’t the slickest move Gail had ever seen, but she found it that much more adorable, Holly trying to be so slick in her stealing of a bottle of champagne. The pathologist disappeared around the corner, out into the hall. 

Gail moved to the bar, where she found some bottles of champagne sitting waiting for a waiter to come collect them. She glanced around before snatching one for herself. She was sure someone in the room full of cops had seen that less than spectacular job at theft, but these were for the conference anyway so if pressed they could charge the damn thing to her room. 

She moved out into the hallway, but then stopped, realizing quickly she wasn’t sure where the coat check was. She had come straight from the elevators with Arnie and left her coat upstairs. 

“Psst.” The whisper came from a room cattycornered to where she stood. She moved towards it. 

Inside she found a very pleased-with-herself Holly Stewart, presenting her prize as though it were made of gold. 

“Very subtle larceny, nerd,” Gail said, fighting her growing smile. She walked a bit forward, before deciding she could dump her shoes. She stepped out of them, and Holly followed her lead, scooping hers up into her spare hand. Gail just left hers where they were by the door. 

Inside the coat check was exactly as one might imagine: coats aligned the rolling racks with numbers attached to hangers. No staff was occupying the room though. The check table stood empty, except for a few stray tickets. 

Holly moved through the racks, pushing some out of the way, and parting the clothes to step through others. She pushed a few back to reveal the back wall. She bowed deeply, presenting the space to Gail with her arms wide. 

“My lady, your throne,” she said shooting her a Cheshire cat grin. 

Gail stepped over the metal, taking a delicate hold of Holly’s hand to help lower herself down. “Thank you, my good woman.”

“Anything for my liege,” Holly responded, waiting until Gail was situated to let go of her hand. She moved to sit beside her, but something caught her eye hanging on a nearby rack. She shot Gail an excited look, before taking hold of it. She held it up in front of Gail. “A cloak for you.”

Gail giggled. The shawl looked as if someone had shaved a mane off of a lion. She leaned forward, trying to keep her back as straight as she could, to seem as regal as possible. “You may place it upon my shoulders, peasant.” 

“As you wish,” Holly said, wrapping the mane around Gail's back to rest upon each shoulder. 

They laughed together. Holly lowered herself onto the floor beside Gail. Sitting on the floor in a dress was an art, but Holly didn’t seem to care much about Gail might see. Her skirt bunched up very high on her thighs, and she placed the bottle between her legs. She started to open the wrapping. 

Gail couldn’t stop her eyes running over the long tanned skin that her dress now revealed. She wasn’t paying attention when Holly unwrapped the wire, until she popped the cork, making Gail jump at the sound. 

She was laughing and watching Gail. Gail scowled back at her, blushing and grumpy from getting caught staring. She went to open her own, but found it being lifted from her hands. She gritted her teeth and held the base with both hands as Holly tugged. 

“Gail, let go,” Holly told her, tugging on the neck. 

“No, get your own,” Gail said with a bit of petulance in her pout. 

“Fine, I was going to give you this already open one, but alright have it your way,” she said taking a swig from the open champagne. 

Gail practically pulled it from her lips. “Mine!”

Holly squealed with her lips tightly shut, trying not to let spill the alcohol she’d gotten out. She scrunched her nose, bubbles filling her sinuses. She coughed. “Jesus, Gail, are you trying to kill me?”

Gail chuckled, taking a large swig of the champagne. The bubbles felt good in her chest, and after so much alcohol tonight, floating a bit to her head. She jumped again as Holly popped the cork on the other bottle. 

“Big scary cop afraid of a little cork?” Holly teased.

“Whatever, nerd,” Gail said ignoring the obvious baiting. She raised her champagne bottle as the sounds of music started to flood in through the cracked door. It was some kind of techno music that she grimaced to think of old crinkly suits dancing to it. “A toast…” Holly raised her bottle to mirror Gail as the cop continued, “…to not being out there dancing.”

Holly nodded, pursing her lips. She clinked the necks of their bottles together. “Amen.” 

They drank together in silence for a bit. Gail wanted to ask her whether she had thought about what Gail had been trying to say earlier, but she was afraid to bring it up. The courage she had found earlier had some how vanished with the consumption of alcohol. The filling in her stomach was just the bubbles, right? Wasn’t alcohol supposed to make you braver?

She brought the bottle up to inspect its contents with one eye. She tapped on the glass and watched the bubbles fly upwards. 

“You alright?” Holly’s voice was soft. Her head was lolled back against the wall. She rotated it against the hard service to look at Gail. 

Gail hummed, taking another swig. She guessed she could get it out one way. A way she really didn’t want to have to use. “You wanna play a game?”

Holly jerked at the sudden change. “Uh, sure, I guess.”

“You either do or don’t?” Gail hated when people said I guess. 

“Ok, ok, a game, sure,” Holly said, “What kind of game, exactly?”

“A question game.” Gail held her breath. Would Holly catch on to what she was trying to do? What she was trying to pull out of her?

Holly didn’t answer, but seemed all right with Gail starting. She casually pointed her bottle towards Gail indicating she should start. 

“When did you figure out you were gay?” Gail blurted out. Oh God, why did she start with that? Make it more obvious why don’t you, Gail?

Holly laughed. “Hard hitting questions, huh? I told you that story already. The girl next door.”

“Oh…right,” Gail said, blushing at her forgetfulness. “Then…”

“Nope,” Holly said, “My turn.”

“But…”

Holly cut her off. “Nope, you had your question. Not my fault you knew the answer.”

Gail huffed. “Fine, go.”

Holly stared at her for a moment, her eyes narrowed as though contemplating whether what she was thinking was what she was about to ask. She turned abruptly away to take a swig of champagne. “Why’d you want to be a cop?”

Gail let out the breath she was holding. She thought for sure Holly would have asked about earlier. 

“I...uh…” Did she want to talk about Elaine Peck and her perpetual training games? Did she want to tell her how she left her in the woods to fend for herself and find her way home at the tender age of 11? How she had never chosen police work, it had been chosen for her? “I love being a police officer.” Copout.

She took a swig of champagne to settle the tension she felt building between her shoulder blades. Holly was looking thoughtfully, like a puzzle she couldn’t quite see the picture yet. 

“But that wasn’t really the question, was it?” Gail finally confessed. She lowered her head to stare at the hemline of her dress. She took a deep breath. “I didn’t choose to be a cop. My mother chose that profession for my brother and me. We have to uphold the family legacy. We have to be the best cops we can be to…” She trailed off she couldn’t say that. 

“To?” Holly asked. Her voice was soft and encouraging, but Gail knew she didn’t have to answer if she’d rather not. 

“To make my mother proud. To earn the name Peck,” she said, swallowing hard at the lump building at the back of her throat. 

A soft hand found its way onto her own. Their fingers tangled themselves together and Holly squeezed them in reassurance. 

“You shouldn’t have to prove anything,” Holly said quietly. “You’re enough all on your own, Gail. More than enough, you’re fantastic. Just being you.”

Gail tried to blink away the tears pushing at the backs of her eyes. Way to go, Peck, ruin the fun with your sob story of upper-middle-class neglect. She shook her head, willing the thoughts away. 

She cleared her throat, pulling her hand from Holly’s. “Alright, no more sob story, Stewart. It’s your turn.”

Holly gave her that lop-sided smile and leant back into the wall. “Shoot.”

“What’s it like on dates?” She had the most stupid questions ever, really. This was not the smooth way to find out about Holly’s lesbian ways. She should have just kissed her. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean is it still fun getting dressed? I mean that’s the most fun part of a date is getting dressed together,” she said, even though there were images flashing through her head of a certainly more fun part of a date with Holly, which involved more undressing than dressing. “I mean how does it work if two girls are getting dressed together?”

“I don’t know how does it work with a guy?” Holly seemed amused, but willing to go along on this strange Peck question adventure. 

“Well, if you live together, he gets dressed first and then you…” She glanced over at Holly, “…get…” She was quickly realizing the ridiculousness of her questioning as Holly tried hard not to laugh. “…dressed. It’s very stupid. Stupid question.”

Holly nodded, taking a swig of her champagne. She went to ask her question, but Gail never was one to play by the rules. She interrupted with another, the first thing to pop immediately into her head. 

“What about if you want to borrow a dress or shoes or clothes? I mean, is that cool? Do you share each other’s things?”

Holly lazily rolled her head in Gail’s direction against the hard wood wall. She glanced down at Gail’s outfit. “Well I wouldn’t share your things.”

Gail frowned. “What is wrong with my things?”

Holly let out a breathy laugh, running her eyes again over Gail’s frame. “Nothing! They’re just not my style.”

Gail wasn’t going to take that as an answer. What was wrong with what she was wearing? She thought she had great style. “Oh, not enough fleece for you, Holly? Not enough backpacks?”

And at that, Holly leaned in and kissed her. It was short, but it set off a kaleidoscope of fireworks behind Gail’s eyelids as they fell closed briefly. When Holly pulled back, Gail starred. 

“You’re insane,” Holly said with a big smile, “You know that right?”

Gail couldn’t answer. The feel of Holly’s lips on her own was distracting her mind from any coherent thought. Holly was suddenly on the move, standing above Gail. 

“Sorry…where are you going?” Gail asked, rooted to her spot on the floor. 

“I thought we could go dancing?” Holly suggested. “Get it out of our system?”

Holly turned to set her champagne bottle on the coat-check desk. She wasn’t paying any attention to Gail as the cop got up, moving with one singular purpose. She was done dancing around this. 

“Holly,” she said once she was right behind her. She jumped at the sudden closeness of Gail behind her. 

“Wha…”

The word never got fully out of her mouth, before Gail pressed her lips against Holly’s. Her hands found their way to Holly’s cheeks, holding her in place there. The kiss started slowly, Holly getting over the initial shock, before her arms wrapped around Gail’s waist and pulled her flush against her. Her mouth opened, tongue brushing against Gail’s upper lip. Gail groaned and opened her mouth. 

And just like that it was over. Holly pulled back, taking several steps away from Gail as if the distance could hold back the desire Gail could see plainly in those brown eyes. 

“What’re you doing, Gail? What are we doing?” she asked huskily. 

“I’m kissing you. I thought you were some sort of genius?” Gail said, trying to lighten that frown that was now on Holly’s face. Maybe she had guessed wrong. Just because Holly was a lesbian didn’t mean she was into her. Maybe that kiss just now had been just friendly. Gail swallowed, her gaze sinking. “If I overstep and assumed wrong, then I’m sorry. It’s just…” She glanced up again. “I can’t get you out of my head, Holly Stewart, and it’s fine if you don’t return the…”

This time Gail was the one that couldn’t finish. Holly had lunged forward, capturing her lips once again. God, could this woman kiss. Holly’s hands tangled into her hair as Gail’s gripped at her hipbones. They pushed into each other, immovable objects encountering the same space. It had taken them far too long to reach this point. 

Gail broke away this time, gasping for breath. She swallowed thickly as Holly slowly opened her eyes. She looked at her like she would do just about anything to have her. It made the butterflies in Gail’s stomach swirl into a hurricane. 

“Let’s go upstairs.”


	9. Chapter 9

Gail’s back hit the wall of the elevator as Holly pushed her against it. Holly’s hot mouth found the curve of Gail’s pale neck, sucking on the pulse point, feeling Gail’s heart raced with every movement. Holly guided one of Gail’s legs around her thigh as far as the blonde’s dress would allow. Gail found her hands trailing their way across Holly’s back and up to her hair. She angled her head back as the kisses trailed their way down her neck to her collarbone where her tongue swirled inside the hollow of her bone. 

Ding.

The elevator doors opened onto Holly’s floor. They pulled away, and realized they were not alone. Outside the doors, a man had another man pushed against the opposite wall. They turned at the sudden intrusion. 

Gail groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Arnie’s smile made her want to hit him. “Well, well, Peck, fancy seeing you here.”

Gail rolled her eyes, grabbing Holly’s hand, who was looking between the two with an adorable blush. She pulled her down the hallway, ignoring the confused look on the face of the man with Arnie. When she glanced at him, she realized he was the bartender from earlier. Arnie winked at her. 

She practically dragged Holly down to where she knew was her room. Holly pulled out her key and opened the door for them. Once inside, they stood there awkwardly, their eyes finding everything but each other to look at. 

Gail coughed a bit. “So…um…”

Holly finally looked at her. She smiled that lopsided smile at her, and everything inside Gail melted. All the anxiety about being with Holly dissolved in the actual realization of being with Holly. Something about this woman settled the raging storm inside of Gail. Everything just felt right with her. So when Holly reached for her, running delicate fingertips along her cheek, she stepped into her. She was no longer afraid. A whole new storm was circling in her belly, one of Holly’s making.

With heels on, Holly was still taller than Gail, forcing Gail to stand on her tip-toes, heels falling out of her shoes, to press her lips against the other woman’s. Holly blushed. 

“Gail, I…” Holly started, but Gail silenced her with another kiss. 

She shook her head. “No more talking.”

Holly nodded. “I won’t say another word.”

Gail stepped out of her heels this time and forward to press her front against Holly’s. “Good.”

They were kissing again, this time slow and sensual. Gail took her time, mapping Holly’s lips with her own, tracing them with tongue and mouth and teeth. Holly’s hands gripped her arms feeling as if she might fall if she let go. Gail already felt herself falling in an entirely different way. 

She pushed Holly gently, urging her towards the bed. Holly relented, her heels left by the door. They stumbled together, unwilling to break away from each other, until Holly’s legs hit the bed. She fell, and Gail let her, standing over her with hooded eyes. She gave Holly a wicked smile as she took hold of her zipper and slowly brought it down. Holly’s eyes trailed down her body as she slowly let the straps fall from her shoulders. The dress slinked down past her breasts to reveal her lacy purple bra, the one she had worn especially for the woman in front of her. Holly took in a sharp breath, inching up onto her elbows to watch as the material settle around Gail’s waist. Gail bit her lip, wiggling her hips to urge the dress all the way down until it pooled at her ankles. She stepped out of it and instantly found Holly’s hands on her hips. 

Holly’s hot mouth pressed against the taut skin of Gail’s stomach, along the top of her black lace panties. Her tongue peeked beneath the elastic to trace Gail’s hipbone. Gail moaned, hands finding solace in brunette hair, tangling the strands between her fingers. Holly’s kisses moved up, running her tongue along stomach muscles as they tightened in response. Her hands ran up Gail’s thighs to grip her ass, squeezing as Gail rocked forward into her mouth. 

As Holly’s tongue ran along her ribs, heat spread throughout Gail’s body. The tingling sensation reached down to her toes and through her fingertips. She needed to be closer. Gail tugged on Holly’s hair gently, urging her up. 

They were kissing again. When Holly’s tongue met Gail’s, Gail couldn’t contain the moan erupting from the back of her throat. The sound seemed to spur something in Holly. Gail barely registered Holly’s arms snaking around to support her back and waist, before she was being spun around and pressed into the sheets. 

Holly’s leg found its way between Gail’s. She rocked against Gail’s center, grabbing Gail’s arms as they made to grip her back and pushing them above her head. She pulled back to look at Gail, making sure she understood exactly what she wanted. Don’t move these hands until Holly wanted. Gail nodded. She understood. 

Her mouth trailed across Gail’s jaw until she reached her ear. She grazed along the outside ridge, blowing softly against the sensitive skin. Gail jerked in surprise at the sensation, before gasping as Holly took the lobe into her mouth, gently running her teeth along it. Gail fought the urge to grip at Holly, to pull her closer. 

Just like that, Holly’s mouth left her ear, moving down to the hollow of her throat to the dip between her breasts. Her hands looped around Gail’s back. She arched up in response and soon found herself sans bra. Who knew one of Holly’s secret talents was to make a bra disappear? 

Holly’s tongue ran across the swell of her breasts to circle her nipple. Gail couldn’t handle it anymore, her hands pulled at Holly’s back, fingernails digging into her tan skin. She pulled her close, urging Holly’s leg to press harder and faster against her. Gail needed her closer; needed to feel Holly against her, inside her, anyway she could get her. She could feel her wetness slick against the other woman’s thigh, already completely soaked through her underwear. There was no way she had ever been this turned on before in her life, and no way she was letting Holly go until she felt what it was like to come undone with those fingers. Speaking of those fingers, they were now cupping the other breast, tweaking the nipple between her thumb and index finger. 

“Holly,” Gail moaned. Behind her name was a plea, one obviously Holly understood. Gail could feel the smirk against her skin as Holly kissed her way down Gail’s torso. Gail shivered as Holly hovered over her, her breath warm even through Gail’s underwear. “Please.”

Holly planted a kiss right at her clit with only the thin fabric of Gail’s underwear between them. Gail ran her hands through her own hair in frustration. She felt like she wanted to explode. 

The brunette pulled back suddenly; but before Gail could protest, she took hold of her underwear and pulled them swiftly down her legs. She tossed them haphazardly over her shoulder. Leaning back in, she paused until Gail met her eyes. 

“You’re sure?” she asked hesitantly as if she couldn’t tell that this was all Gail wanted in life. 

“God, Holly, yessss.” Her ‘yes’ turned into a hiss as Holly kissed her lower lips, right above her aching clit. Such little contact and Gail already felt like she was going to tear apart at the seams. Every thought was clouded in her mind and formed nothing but this image of Holly and the feel of her mouth against her. 

Holly’s tongue dipped down below her folds, running up their length. Gail jerked, her eyes fluttering closed. No one she had ever been with before had done this; no one had made her feel this out of control. It was like falling through all of space and time, trying to latch onto anything and everything that passed by, but the starbursts against her eyelids were blinding her to it all. Everything was a distant memory in the face of these feelings shooting through her. 

The way Holly’s mouth moved against her, languidly but with fire, she briefly wondered how long the brunette had thought of this moment. That terrifying thought fled her mind though as a single finger dipped cautiously inside her. Oh, God, the finger pushed further in, curling. 

Gail’s eyes rolled backwards. She gripped at Holly’s head, back arching as she thrust against the finger now inside her. When Holly added a second finger, crooking them to press against the rough spot inside her, Gail came apart. Her hips bucked so hard, Holly’s free hand came to hold them in place. Gail could feel every touch, heightened to its most extreme. Holly’s tongue slowed, but every swipe sent a supernova shooting through her senses. A kaleidoscope swirled behind her eyelids as the fingers curled once again. 

As she came down and Holly’s movements eased, Gail couldn’t help but feel she had been missing out this whole time. Sex was supposed to be about connection, about feeling as close to another human being as one could get. Gail had thought she had achieved that with Nick and even Chris, but after Holly, she was sure she had never experienced that aspect of sex before this moment. The thought terrified her. 

She opened her eyes, her body screaming at her to run, but when she took in the pleased grin adorning the pathologist’s face, her heart couldn’t do it. She reached out for her, and Holly met her halfway. This kiss was fierce, but something in it rang with a certain longing, not lust, but rather a need to feel Gail, to know her and have her know Holly in the deepest ways possible. 

Gail hooked her leg around the back of Holly’s legs, pivoting their weights against each other to flip them over. Holly squealed against Gail’s lips in surprise, giggling as Gail pecked kisses along her neck, smirking at her own maneuver. 

“You have too many clothes on,” she said, trailing her tongue up and down Holly’s neck until she was close to her ear. “Let’s change that, shall we?”

The move was quick again, spinning Holly around so she could clasp the zipper on the other side of the gorgeous red dress. Slowly she trailed the pull down, revealing bit after bit of tanned skin, which she laid hot open-mouthed kisses upon. She snapped the bra open as her lips reached it. There was no more wasting time. Gail felt the need in her very bones to gaze upon Holly’s glorious body, something she wouldn’t admit until now to be fascinated with. She continued to kiss her way down as the zipper revealed more and more skin. When it reached the end at the small of Holly’s back, Gail gasped. Drawing back, she ran a hand across the skin exposed. 

“A tramp stamp, Holly Stewart? I never would have guessed,” she said, tracing aimlessly along the intricate lines of the DNA strand running in an arc across her lower back. 

Holly laughed, the movement pushing Holly’s ass into Gail’s still throbbing center. At first, Gail thought it was an accident, that Holly might worry her dress would be ruined, but as Gail traced up the inked lines, Holly wriggled against her. She cast a mischievous look over her shoulder at Gail. In retaliation, Gail bent down, running her tongue along the colored lines of the strand. Holly let out a shaky breath, and Gail’s hands snuck inside the dress. Holly arched up, allowing the blonde’s hands to close around her breasts. 

“Mmm, do you have any more?” Gail asked, brushing her lips up Holly’s spine and giving her perfect breasts a squeeze. 

The smile Holly sent her was all wicked. “Why don’t you find out?”

Desire shot through Gail. She wanted to do just that, to map out every inch of Holly’s skin from every tattoo to every freckle to every scar. She wanted to drag her tongue along the contours of Holly’s body until every inch was hers. She pinched Holly’s nipples before letting go to drag her hands up to the straps. She looped her hands through and tugged (a bit awkwardly) down to Holly’s waist. Holly pushed herself up by her palms, turning underneath Gail, exposing her body. 

Gail licked her lips at the glorious mounds in front of her. She ignored the urge to pull the dress the rest of the way off. Instead, her mouth found itself wrapped around Holly’s stiff nipple. Holly gasped as the blonde circled the peak with her tongue, flicking in random patterns that made Holly grip at Gail’s hair. 

Her hand brushed along the rougher uneven skin of her ribcage. Gail drew back, turning Holly’s body slightly to inspect the image etched upon the skin there. It was a depiction of that part of her ribs, anatomically correct as far as Gail’s knowledge of the body extended. The tat cupped just under her breasts, running down her side until the ribcage ended. Skin made way to muscles as muscles made way to bones. 

Gail leaned down, taking the skin between her teeth. She bit softly along each curve of painted rib, before smoothing them with a tender tongue. Her hands traveled further down, her lips following down Holly’s smooth stomach. She took hold of Holly’s hips, holding them up as she swiftly shifted the material all the way down until the dress was a crumpled heap on the floor. 

Peaking out from underneath the red lacy underwear was what Gail recognized as an atom. Gail met Holly’s eye. She quirked an eyebrow. Holly shrugged, smiling. 

Gail pulled down the fabric to revel the whole image, laying a kiss against its center. 

“You like them, Officer?” Holly asked her voice husky. She swallowed hard as Gail’s teeth grazed along the contours of her hipbone. 

“Mmm, I certainly like finding them,” she answered. 

“Happy to oblige.” 

Gail sat up. She looked down at the gorgeous woman in front of her, hair splayed against the pillows, arms relaxed. Holly gazed up at her with hooded eyes. Gail let out a shaky breath. She was suddenly nervous, and she knew it showed as her hands shook when they took hold of the last remaining fabric between them. Tan hands closed around her wrists, stopping her. 

“You don’t have to, you know,” Holly whispered, “I mean, if you don’t want to, if you aren’t ready…”  
Gail jerked her hands back, defiantly taking hold of the material and pulling it down Holly’s long legs. She took in her first sight of Holly completely naked. She was perfect.

“No, I want to,” she assured her, “I just…don’t really know what I’m doing.”

The confession made her face flush in embarrassment. She was 28 years old and certainly had had sex before, but this felt different. Holly felt more important. She felt like someone she didn’t want to disappoint. 

Holly gave her that lopsided smile. “It’s ok.”

She reached out and took Gail’s hand. She twisted it gently, moving it to her own sex. “Just touch.”

She gasped as Gail took control, idly running a finger between her outer lips grazing the tips of the inner folds. Her eyes fluttered closed as Gail continued the motion, a bit more assuredly than before. 

Gail was fascinated watching as the woman twitched with each stroke of her hands. She flicked the bundle of nerves, enjoying the moan it caused. She pressed the pad of her finger against it before beginning to rub it in slow, determined circles. Holly’s stomach muscle stretched and clinched with each change of speed and direction. Gail took note of the ways to make them spasm, until she couldn’t stop herself from running her mouth along them. She planted kisses and bites as her hand became a bit more adventurous, dipping down between the inner lips teasingly. Holly gasped and twisted, arm tossing over her eyes. 

“Oh, fuck,” Holly moaned. And she knew then that her life mission would be to make Holly Stewart curse. So she was delighted when she dipped a tentative finger inside, just past the fist knuckle that Holly let out a coarse, “Ssssshit.”

Her finger pushed all the way inside, instantly curling. Holly’s curses dissolved into mumbled indiscernible gibberish. She pushed up on her elbows and Gail met her halfway. Their lips were feverish against each other. This new angle seemed to be working for Holly, who clutched at Gail’s back, fingernails digging into pale skin. Gail took a chance and added another finger. Holly pushed into her harder, her own hand snaking down between them to rub her clit. 

Gail broke the kiss. Now that just wouldn’t do, and though she was nervous, she couldn’t allow for this moment to pass and not have tasted her. So she untangled herself from Holly’s grip, who fell back onto the mattress without the strength to hold herself up, and swatted away Holly’s hand. She felt Holly laugh briefly before the brunette’s body stiffened at the cautious swipe of Gail’s tongue. Gail spread the wet lips and took another chance at licking Holly’s clit. She was encouraged to continue as hands closed around her head. She took the bundle of nerves between her lips, rolling it. 

“Jesus Christ,” Holly said with a jerk, hands tightening around blonde locks. Her hips rocked against Gail’s face as Gail began alternating between flicking and running a flat tongue over Holly’s clit. 

She could feel as Holly’s walls began clinching around her fingers, tightening until it was hard for her to keep up her pace. A few final flips of tongue and curling of fingers and Holly came undone. 

Gail pulled back to watch, replacing her tongue with her hand. Holly’s walls took hold of her not allowing her to move an inch. She writhed against the sheets, twisting her whole body as the sensations took hold. Her body shone and muscles tightened. Her hands went to block her face as though she were staring into the bright sun. Gail eased her down slowly, reveling in the satisfied smirk on Holly’s face. 

Holly giggled and peeked out from under her arm to study the pleased blonde still on her knees at the end of the bed. “You sure you haven’t done that before?”

Gail’s smug grin almost split her face. “I’m just naturally talented.”

“Mmm,” Holly hummed, closing her eyes again. She let out a long shaky breath, and Gail slowly pulled out causing Holly to twitch. Holly opened her arms wide, and Gail understood. She came to curl up against Holly’s side, her chin resting against Holly’s collarbone. The brunette’s arms wrapped around her, holding her close, but gently as one might hold an animal they were sure might bolt from their arms at any moment. She was trying to shield herself from any damages Gail might cause in her haste to exit. Gail felt her stomach drop. 

She sat up a bit causing Holly’s eyes to pop open. They looked at one another; the affection in Gail’s expression melted the confusion in Holly’s. The blonde leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss onto Holly’s lips. She needed to hold on to this moment for a little while longer, at least until the sun was up again. For now, she was determined to enjoy being with Holly. 

“Do you…” Holly trailed off, her eyes downcast. “Do you regret it?”

She could feel Holly’s body tense anticipating her reaction. Reaching up, she ran her thumb over the crinkled lines in Holly’s forehead, smoothing out the worry. 

“I don’t regret a single moment,” she confessed, sure her face was turning an extremely bright pink color. The smile Holly gave her, an overjoyed version of the lopsided grin made any embarrassment float away. She would do anything to make her smile like that. 

“Good. Neither do I.” 

They laid that way, wrapped up in one another. Gail’s heart thundering in her ears with a sound she was trying desperately to ignore. Maybe by morning the sound will have played out, the song will have ended, and she could build those sound proof walls around her heart once more. For now, though, she kissed Holly’s shoulder, resigned to face the music.


	10. Chapter 10

It was later that night or really early in the morning, still curled into one another, snoozing after another particularly tiring round, that reality hit Gail Peck in the face like a speeding bullet. The orchestra had taken five, and she was left with only the cold hum of truth. Holly was going back to Ottawa in a few hours, and Gail would return to Toronto. Everything would go back to the way it was before. She could feel the panic rising inside her, bubbling beneath the surface. Holly had gotten too close; so close, closer than Gail had ever let another human being. It wasn’t fair. She lifted her head from the sleeping brunette’s shoulder. Holly seemed so peaceful in sleep. Her lips were turned up a bit like a smile, mouth wide open and snoring quietly. Her hair was a fabulous tangle, which was mostly Gail’s fault. Her eyeliner and mascara had run, causing her to have raccoon eyes. Most importantly in Gail’s opinion, she was the most breathtaking woman she had ever seen. 

With her heart crushing with every second, she reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind Holly’s ear, kissing her softly on the cheek. She whispered, “I’m sorry.” She slipped out of bed and began to gather her things. 

“For what, Gail?”

Gail froze; arm still extended with her wrinkled dress bunched up in her hand. She pivoted on her heels, caught, deer-in-head-lights, no turning back but to face the harsh truth. Holly’s face was filled with a sorrow that made Gail’s heart come crashing down. She heard the beat it was trying to pick back up, but she stifled it down. Squaring her shoulders, she stood, absolutely naked before the woman who had won her heart and told her the things she’d need to break both of theirs. 

“I have to go,” Gail said, her voice far steadier than she truly felt. 

Holly’s jaw muscles tightened. 

“We both have a flight in a few hours,” Gail said, quieter this time. “I…I just think it’s better this way.”

Holly’s eyes flashed with angry. She stood defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest, ready to defend her heart with every jab Gail’s words and actions took at it. “Better in what way exactly, Gail? And better for whom? For you?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but the pathologist cut her off. “No, you don’t get to talk right now!” Her voice was harsh and getting louder. Gail glanced at the clock, 5:45 AM. Holly followed her line of sight. “I don’t care what time it is! You can’t just…” She growled, throwing her hands out as though she might pull Gail back in, to hug or strangle her, Gail wasn’t sure. “What was this for you, Gail? Was I just some sort of plaything in all of this? Thought you’d toy with some poor lesbian’s heart? Your boyfriend dumped you for another woman, so you thought you’d show everyone how easy it is for you to move on? No, I guess that’s not it, huh?” 

 

She shook her head almost violently. “You’ll never tell anyone about this. You’re ashamed. I’m just the dumb lesbian who thought the straight girl actually liked her…again.” 

Gail wanted to reassure Holly. She wanted to dissolve into tears, and beg to be forgiven. She wanted reassuring kisses and long deep moans. She wanted to trace her tattoos till she had each one of them memorized. All she wanted was Holly. 

But when she opened her mouth, instead she said, “I think it’s best if we just part here.”

Holly looked like Gail had slapped her or perhaps punched her straight in the gut. She had said all those terrible things, all the things that haunted her insides; the ones that told her she wasn’t worth it, Gail knew those voices well, but it was plain to see that she had never expected Gail to agree with them. The realization that she did had everything crashing down upon Holly. Tears were edging their way out of the corners of those brown eyes. Gail longed to brush them away. 

Instead, she stepped into her dress, zipping it as she found the rest of her clothing. She turned to the door, not even chancing a glance back to the devastated woman. She knew if she did, her resistance wouldn’t hold. 

“Was any of it real?” Holly’s whisper barely reached her as she opened the door. She paused gripping the doorframe so hard her knuckles were white. She could turn around confess her feelings, give in to the thunderous crescendo of her heart, but she shook her head, a swift silencing baton and her heart thudded to a stop. The door shut, and the song was over. 

 

Gail was running late. She had spent so much time, curled up in her shower, trying to contain the way her shoulders shook despite the heat, or the way her eyes ached and leaked. She wasn’t crying. Pecks didn’t cry. Pecks took everything with a roll off their shoulders. 

So now that she had finally manage to pull herself together enough to get out of the shower, she only had time to throw all of her possessions into her bag, unfolded and messy. She sprinted out the door, pulling on a hoodie and a pair of aviators in the hopes of hiding what a complete wreck she was. 

When she got to the elevators, she prayed to whatever deity she could that Holly would not be on the other side of those doors. But as the pathologist’s punctuality and the universe’s demented sense of humor had it, Holly was not the person on the other side of the doors. 

Arnie grinned at her. He was leaning against the back wall, his small suitcase at his feet, and fine leather briefcase beside it. His foot was propped against the wall. He looked ruffled, but pleased with himself like a man who had a good time last night. 

Gail was fucking sick of his face. “Tell me, do you just ride this thing up and down until I get on?”

She stepped inside and turned her back to him, smashing the closed-door button several times. 

“Yes, Peck, you’ve caught me,” he said with a snicker. “I’m in love with you. You have my heart forever.”

She saw him in the reflection of the elevator doors, clutching dramatically at his heart. 

“That man last night meant nothing. I swear. I used him for sex. Be mine forever?”

She ignored him. He spun to tower over her, pleased expression on his face. He ran a hand through his already tousled hair. 

He nudged her. “Come on, why the soar face? What happened last night? You and the good Doctor didn’t…?”

“Shut it, ash-breather,” Gail said jerking out of his grasp. The doors opened, but Gail still caught the hurt flash across Arnie’s freckled face. 

“Gail…”

She brushed past him, dragging her rolling suitcase behind her and hefting her carryon bag further up her shoulder. Arnie followed her out into the lobby, but didn’t try to talk to her again. They stood side by side as everyone gathered around to wait for the shuttles to the airport. The chatty and overly friendly desk clerk was trying in vain to get everyone to listen to him over the ruckus. They all were moving about and talking amongst themselves. 

Gail heaved her bag up again as it tried to make its way down to her elbow. She stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. 

Everyone stopped immediately and turned to look at her. That’s when she saw her. Standing there, looking perfect, like nothing had happened to her last night at all, Holly Stewart met her gaze briefly. The intensity of hurt she could see rolling in those brown eyes made her divert her eyes back to scan the crowd. She tried to ignore the thundering melody her heart started beating. “This…uh…this man would like your attention, please. Give it to him now.”

She waved a hand at the hotel clerk who gave her a grateful smile. “Attention ladies and gentlemen and those who identify as neither, if you would please make your way outside, we will be loading the buses shortly. A member of this staff will assist you with placing your bags under the bus. You may collect them when you reach the airport. Have a safe and wonderful journey home or wherever your destination may be, and thank you for staying with us.”

They did as instructed and filed out. The young clerk whispered her a quick “Thank you” as she passed. She nodded and kind of grunted at him. It was all she could muster. She was too busy following the back of a certain brunette’s head as it bobbed through the crowd. She watched her readjust her glasses, watched as she gave her bag over to some idiot who tossed it haphazardly into the bottom of the bus. She watched as Holly disappeared through the doors flashing a smile at the driver who greeted her. 

“Ma’am?” She was brought back as another hotel employee tapped her on the shoulder. She scowled at him for touching her, but relented in handing over her bag. 

Arnie was still behind her as she climbed the stairs into the bus. She adjusted her glasses self-consciously, her head tucked down. When she passed Holly’s bench, she saw an open seat beside her. She contemplated sitting for an insane moment, but their briefly met gazes had her retreating to the back. 

Arnie plopped down beside her. He was stealing looks at her from the corner of his eye, but she stared straight ahead, pretending not to notice every move the brunette head made. She pretended the scowl on her face wasn’t from that handsome man asking to sit beside Holly, Holly flashing that brilliant smile and nodding. She pretended it didn’t build upon the fire engulfing her insides. Good luck, mister, she’s not interested, her mind snickered. 

Arnie pushed against her shoulder. “Hey, are you ok?”

He shrank back into his seat at the look she gave him. He held his hands up in surrender. He wouldn’t ask her another word. Good. She didn’t want to talk. All she wanted was to sit there and stew in her loneliness, in her regret, in her stupidity. She could have maybe tried to stay friends. She could have chalked the whole sex thing up to the alcohol, and while fun (and amazing) she just wasn’t interested in Holly like that. Liar.

She sighed, taking one last look at Holly who was staring out the window, before Gail leaned her head back and closed her eyes. 

“Wake me when we get to the airport.”

 

Arnie did just that, shaking her awake as they pulled into LaGuardia. Gail groaned, grabbing her bag and pushing her sunglasses back straight on her face. She stumbled off the bus, groggy and disoriented. 

She lost her balance for a moment, but a warm pair of hands grabbed each of her forearms to steady her. They froze. Holly slowly let go of her arms, sure she wasn’t going to fall over. She smiled briefly at Gail, before she seemed to remember how mad she was, and it dissolved into a frown. She turned without a word to collect her bags. 

Gail didn’t move, watching as Holly checked her bag. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, and Gail’s mouth went dry at the expanse of skin along her neck exposed. She remembered her tongue running over it, tasting the sunlit, reveling in the shiver it sent through Holly. 

“GAIL!” 

She jerked suddenly out of her daydream. Holly was gone. Arnie was standing there impatiently holding her bag out to her. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asked. He followed her eyes as they scanned the crowd. “Gail, she went inside already. Come on, we need to go.”

He tugged at her wrist, and for once, she just let herself be dragged around. She didn’t have it in her to fight him, or to concentrate on where she was supposed to be going. He would get them there, and for now that was good enough. Gail’s head was too filled with Holly to focus on anything else. 

They made it through security fine. Show their passports, went through customs, and to the terminal with plenty of time to spare. In fact, it was going to be at least 20 more minutes before they could board. Arnie led them to a group of empty seats. Others she recognized from the conference came to sit around them. Holly was not among them. 

Gail scanned around the crowd. She didn’t see her anywhere. Arnie had decided to take out his electronics magazine and read while they waited, but Gail found her mind couldn’t focus on anything but figuring out where Holly was. As the time near and they called for first class to being boarding, Gail was getting jittery. Her leg started shaking, and she tapped against the armrests impatiently as her eyes ran over the people filing in around them. 

A hand enclosed on top of hers. She jumped, glaring at Arnie who let go of her hand instantly. 

“She’s over there, Gail,” he said, pointing as discretely as he could over to a pillar at the other end of their terminal. There leaning against it was Holly. She was staring at her, face drawn and focused. Her forehead crinkled into those deep concentration lines that Gail found kind of adorable. 

When their eyes met, Holly didn’t look away. She held Gail’s gaze. For how long, Gail wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t avert her eyes. All she could do was stare straight into the wreckage she had made. Her heart ached to get up, to go to Holly, wrap her hands around her waist and beg forgiveness. She knew that wouldn’t be easily achieved. A flood of people moved between them, and Holly was gone. 

Gail darted her head from side to side, looking for her. 

“Come on, moron,” Arnie said, taking her carryon from the floor to shove it into her lap. “We’re boarding.”

She followed him to the line, and obediently handed over her ticket when prompted. 

When she found her seat, she sighed in relief, and maybe a bit of disappointment. Holly, she tried not to notice, was a few rows back, placing her carry-on into the overhead compartment. Gail sat down in her seat, the isle once again, determined not to glance back at every chance she got. She grabbed the air-mall magazine, and pretended it was the most interesting thing ever. 

Arnie sat down across the isle from her. He glanced back towards Holly, before leaning across the way to whisper, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

She glared at him, but was saved from answering by a woman clearing her throat. They both looked up at her. She was tall and lean and brunette. She wore a nice suit, much too nice for flying, unless she was from an era where they still dressed up for flying. She indicated the seat next to Gail.

“I believe that’s mine.” 

Her teeth were perfect behind her red lips as she smiled down at Gail. Gail felt her mouth go a bit dry. 

“Oh..uh…right…” she stammered, standing to let the woman pass. So maybe attracted to women thing wasn’t just a fluke, Holly-type thing. Gail wondered how she’d never noticed before, and what else she might not know about herself. 

The woman sat down, sliding her briefcase under the seat in front of her. Gail buried her face back into the air magazine and tried her best not to look at her. That failed though as she felt the woman’s gaze on the side of her face. She put on her best scowl to turn to face her.

“Yes? Can I help you?” Damn it she was losing some of her bite. 

The woman smiled at her. “You’re quite rude you know?”

“So I’ve been told,” Gail replied. She chanced a glance towards Holly again. She was in the isle seat this time, so Gail could see about half of her face. It was already buried in a book. Nerd.

“You’re very interested in someone back there,” the woman remarked offhand. 

Gail immediately swung back around to face her. “Is that any of your business?”

The woman shrugged, casually leaning back in her chair. She had at some point taken a magazine out. She flipped through it. “Not particularly.”

“Then why don’t you mind your own then and read your little magazine?” Gail snapped. Who was this woman? She certainly knew how to stoke an already annoyed fire.

“Just thought I’d keep the conversation up, help pass the time and all,” she said, flipping to a new page, not even glancing at the blonde.

Gail’s eyes narrowed. “You’re gonna be a talker, aren’t you?”

She hated these kinds of people on planes. Always wanting to chat with you for hours on end, and there was no escaping. They were the worst people in human existence, so of course Gail would be stuck by one. 

The woman laughed. “I’m mostly just interested in talking about why you’re staring at my friend back there.”

That stopped Gail as she opened her mouth to let lose a flurry of insults. Her friend? That’s when Gail, trained and highly capable police officer, noticed the “magazine” this woman had was in fact a scientific journal, a forensic science journal in fact. 

“You know Holly?” Gail’s voice cracked. 

The woman nodded. “I do. You must be Gail.”

Of course she was sitting beside Holly’s friend. Her life was just fair like that. She couldn’t hide in her shame. 

“I am.”

The woman closed the magazine, vanquishing any notion that she was actually going to read it. “Look, I don’t make it a habit to get involved, but I’m going to make an exception with this because Holly is a special person.”

Gail swallowed hard. “I know.”

“Do you?” the woman snapped. “Then why did I get a call from her at 6 in the morning, sobbing because you left her, told her it didn’t mean anything?”

“I, uh…” Gail was dumb struck. She didn’t know what to say to this woman. She could feel across the isle the curious, watchful eyes of Arnie on them.

“I would think that maybe you really were just using her,” the woman continued, “But I’ve been watching the way you’ve been looking at her, and I know you feel something. It’s written all over your face.”

For someone like Gail who liked to play her emotions close to her chest, being told that they were there, plain, for everyone to see was distressing. She tried to put in place the mask of indifference, but found that it just wasn’t there anymore. Holly had shattered it. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please…”

The intercom screeched to life at that moment, and Gail winced. Were all airplane intercoms required to sound like dying cats? 

“So why’d you fuck everything so royally up, Gail?” Her voice rose a bit to be heard over the intercom.

Gail’s jaw set. She didn’t need to answer to this woman, whose name she didn’t even know. It was none of her business. “Who the fuck are you anyway? Demanding answers? You don’t know me.” 

Gail flinched again as the intercom sounded once again, and the steward began to explain the seatbelts. 

The woman beside her pursed her lips, ignoring the instructions, and she stuck out her hand. “Dr. Alison Larue. And you’re right, I don’t know you, but I do know Holly. And I know she deserves better than this.”

Gail ignored her hand. “Larue, huh? Is that French for ‘nosey bitch’?”

“Actually, it means road, but you were quite close.”

There were few people who could take a glancing blow of Gail Peck snark, and keep rolling, so that at the very least impressed her. 

The intercom squealed a dying breathe as the steward finished, asking them to place their tray tables in their upright and locked positions. 

Through the taxing down the runway, they sat silently next to each other. Gail was furious, and Alison had to feel the waves of hate flowing off the blonde. To her credit though, she seemed as though she couldn’t be bothered to care. She aimlessly flipped through her journal. It wasn’t until Gail felt the plane begin to move faster and faster that she remembered: she hated flying.

As the plane began to lift from the ground, and her grip on the armrest got tighter, she felt a hand come to sit on top of hers. She jerked hers back. She would be damned if she let this woman comfort her. 

“Fine,” she said, “Be a stubborn ass.”

And Gail shut her eyes, intending to be just that.

They got through most of the flight without speaking a word to each other, and Gail managed to only sneak a few looks Holly’s way. The number was under 10. Alright, maybe under 15. Definitely at least under 20 times.

When they were nearing their destination, Alison finally shut her journal, sighed and turned to Gail. 

Gail rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

“I want you to realize that you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life.” This woman really knew how to beat around the bush. “Holly is the most amazing person I know, and you threw her away like she was garbage. I can’t accept that.”

“If you think she’s so great, why don’t you go fuck her, then?” Gail snarled. Her anger was getting the better of her, as usual, and spewing from her mouth. She winced at the thought of Alison and Holly together. 

The Doctor’s face contorted. “If she wanted me, I’d marry her in a heartbeat.”

“Oh.”

Gail’s insides turned. She felt equal parts jealousy and sympathy towards this woman. She understood what it was like to get caught up in Holly’s spell. There was something just so enamoring about the pathologist that drew people into her, even if she was weird and worked with dead people. There was a sparklingly wit, and a generous soul behind those brown eyes that one couldn’t help but fall for. But at the same time, the thought of anyone touching Holly, being with Holly, had her insides burning and twisting. She didn’t want to feel this. She told herself to let go, move on, it was done, but obviously her emotions had other ideas. Holly, it seemed, would not so easily be let go. 

“Yeah, oh,” Alison said, a bit wistfully. “I get that I’m not part of her equation, but you can be. You still have time to fix this, so fix it before you lose the best woman you’ll ever meet.”

“I…” Gail said, her resolve cracking. She sunk down into the chair. “I think I’m too late.”

“No,” Alison said fiercely, “You aren’t too late until she boards that plane to Ottawa. You get off this plane. You go talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She’ll forgive you.”

“And if she doesn’t?” 

Alison shrugged. “Then you can say you didn’t just let her go.”

 

When they landed, after some terrifying few bits of descending several thousands of feet in a matter of seconds, Gail was jittering in her skin. Arnie reached over and patted her hand sympathetically. He, of course, had eavesdropped the whole conversation with Alison, and was all for this plan to fight for Holly. That is if she was willing to give Gail another chance. 

Gail unbuckled her seatbelt and stood. Holly, she noticed, was already out in the isle, bag in hand. She was obviously trying to rush past the blonde without having to talk with her. But Gail reached out, and grabbed her arm.

“Can we talk?”

“I got the message, Gail. What’s left to talk about?” She refused to even look at her. 

“Please?” 

Gail never begged. She thought it was beneath her. But for Holly, for another chance, she was willing to put her pride aside. 

Holly’s jaw tightened. She went to speak, but the people behind her pushed forward, eager to get off the plane. 

“I’ll meet you in the terminal,” Holly said as she let the rush of people lead her to the exit. 

Gail sighed. This was it. She’d either convince Holly that she had made a terrible mistake, that no matter the fact that she was a woman, that they lived in two different cities, that Gail was afraid of commitment, that they could work this out. So long as they were together, they could work anything out. 

“Good luck,” Alison said, as she left Gail to walk out of the plane on her own. 

Except Gail wasn’t alone, Arnie took hold her arm, leading her out of the plane and down the jet bridge. He squeezed her arm reassuringly. “You’ll be alright.”

And there she was at the end, clutching her carryon in front of her, waiting. Holly. She was the most beautiful person Gail had ever seen. 

“Go win your girl back, Peck.” Arne said with a smile. He gave her arm a final squeeze, before he left her to it. 

Holly avoided looking at her as Gail came to stand in front of her. Instead, the brunette was scanning the terminal as if looking for someone.

“Expecting someone?” Gail asked to break the ice. 

Holly shrugged. “Say what you came to say, Gail, I have another plane to catch.”

Gail swallowed. She deserved everything Holly could dish out. “I’m sorry.”

Holly inhaled sharply. Her whole body tensed.

“I’m sorry I was such an idiot. I was…I was scared, and you didn’t deserve that because…” Gail took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Because you’re the most amazing person, I’ve ever met, and I made the stupidest mistake of my life, giving you up. Holly, I…”

She reached out to take Holly’s hands, but Holly pulled back. When she finally turned to look at Gail, her eyes were hard. Gail shrank back. 

“…I made a mistake.” The last bit came out in barely a whisper. 

Holly was silent for so long that Gail wasn’t sure she had heard her. She studied Gail’s face without so much as an inch of emotion fluttering across her own. It felt like a lifetime before she finally answered, “And you’ll have to live with that mistake.”

Holly pulled back, turning her back to Gail. She began to walk away, and every bit of hope inside of Gail came crashing down and tears flooded her eyes. Holly stopped suddenly and glanced back over her shoulder.

“Holly, please…” Gail’s voice cracked with emotion. 

Holly’s shoulders sagged, and she turned away. “Goodbye, Gail.”

Gail stood there, numbly, long after the brunette walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

It had been 6 months, and her mood had just gone from bad to worse. Everyone in the precinct knew to proceed with caution around Gail Peck, more so than they already had been. A giant cloud called “You fucked it all up” was following her around, raining terrible amounts of self-doubt and hate upon her person. 

When she walked through the halls of 15 division, the path parted around her, insignificant objects in the path of a tornado. No one could get anywhere near her. 

“Gail!” 

Well, almost everyone. But no matter the harsh words she threw at her, Chloe Price still came bouncing back, all smiles and cheer. She bounded up behind her, all bounce and spunk, and it made Gail want to gouge out her eyes. 

“Gail!” Chloe exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement. 

Gail halted, throwing her head back. She sighed at the ceiling, wondering what she did to deserve this perky attention. “What do you want, Chloe?”

“We’re all going out tonight,” she said in a rush. Chloe always spoke as though she was running out of breath, too many thoughts to spit out and so little air in her lungs. 

“That’s nice for you, Price,” Gail muttered, continuing forward. It was obvious though that Chloe wasn’t done bugging her as the Energizer bunny continued to bounce beside her. 

Gail stopped again, this time turning to face the annoying woman who smiled cheerfully at her. Gail scowled, but this seemed to spur Chloe on. “What!?”

Gail snapping at her didn’t faze Chloe. “You’ve seemed down lately, Gail. Moody…well moodier than normal, and I think you need some good old girl time.”

“I’d rather swim in fish gut filled water infested with hungry sharks, than have ‘girl time’ with you,” Gail snarled, mockingly quoting Chloe with her fingers. She tried to escape, but the redhead was persistent. 

“Gail, seriously,” Chloe said, her voice reaching that level of concern that made Gail’s eye twitch. “I know something is wrong, and I know you don’t wanna talk about it, especially with me.”

“Then why are you bugging me, acting like you want to reenact a tampon commercial?” Gail snapped again. She just wanted to get through this shift and not have to face anyone or anything besides her pillowcase. 

Chloe smiled though as much as it frustrated Gail. “I figured you’d like a few free drinks.”

That had Gail stop in her tracks. She contemplated whether spending time with Chloe was worth free alcohol. Turning slowly back around, her eyes narrowed at the bubbly ball of fluff in front of her. “How many free drinks?”

Chloe pursed her lips in thought. “Two.”

“Ten.”

“Three.”

“Twelve.”

“That’s not how bargaining works, Gail.”

“Fifteen.”

“Gail!”

Gail sighed dramatically. “Fine, Chloe, you can buy me ten drinks, but don’t think I’m putting out.”

She turned on her heels and strode towards the break room. She didn’t even falter when Chloe called back out.

“Two, Gail, seriously three tops,” Chloe said, “Be ready after shift!”

Gail threw a noncommittal hand in the air. The things she did for these people. 

 

Thank God that for the rest of the shift she didn’t have to deal with perky-Mcperkerson. She was partnered with Oliver, and the only annoying thing about Oliver was his incessant need to blast country music and sing off key.

“I got friends in low places,” Oliver sang in a pitch that did not match the tune coming out of the speakers.

Gail groaned. At this rate, maybe Chloe would have been better. Words Gail thought she’d never think. “My ears are bleeding, Oliver.”

“Where the whiskey drowns, and the beer chases my blues away,” Oliver continued, throwing his head back dramatically. Gail’s eyes shot to the road. She should have driven. 

“For God’s sake, Oliver, pay the fuck attention to the road!” Gail exclaimed. “Talk about needing some fucking whiskey.”

Oliver reached over to pinch her cheek. She shrank back against the door, swatting at his hand. “C’mon darlin’, you can only be in that bad mood for so long.”

Gail scowled. She crossed her arms defensively. It felt childish, but she couldn’t help but be protective of her emotions. It was the only way she’d been able to deal with the last few months without… She shook her head. No she had gone hours without thinking about her. She wasn’t about to change that now. 

“My mood is none of your business,” she mumbled gruffly. 

Oliver reached over and turned the radio down. “Seriously, Gail, are you ok? Even Chloe is getting concerned.”

“Chloe thinks everyone should live on the pink magic mountain of happiness. I’ll never be in a good enough mood for the fairy princess,” Gail snapped. 

She could feel him looking at her, but refused to acknowledge him. It was frustrating sometimes being around cops all the time. It was why she had a ____ mask from a young age. Growing up a Peck meant she could show no weakness, no emotion in the face of scrutiny. Her parents just didn’t have time to deal with her. This carefully constructed mask seemed to have acquired a crack down the middle in recent months. She had taken a sledgehammer to the face in the form of one forensic pathologist. About whom, she was trying hard not think of. 

“Seriously, though, what’s up with you? Ever since that conference, you’ve had a gloomy aura around you,” Oliver persisted. 

She knew his heart was in the right place, but she couldn’t help but lash out as he got too close to her emotions. “Just because you’ve gotten yourself a witch girlfriend, doesn’t mean you can depict changes in my aura, Oliver. Mind your own business.”

Oliver held up his hands in defeat. “Alright, kiddo, I’ll let it go.”

Gail sighed, leaning back. She should probably apologize, but couldn’t find the words in time before the radio crackled. 

“Robbery in progress, fifth and main.”

Oliver glanced over at her.

Gail picked up the receiver. “15-19, responding.” 

 

“GAIL!” 

Gail groaned, not only from the tone of Chloe’s high pitched voice, but also from the fact that her eye was aching. She had been told it wouldn’t bruise badly, but she was sure that the EMT was wrong. It felt like that robber had put his entire weight into that punch. She was most certainly going to be sporting a shiner the next day. 

“Chloe, drink first, then speak,” Gail demanded, tapping the bar in front of her. 

Chloe signaled the bartender. “A jack and coke, and a whiskey sour.”

“And two shots of tequila,” Gail added. She’d need them to make it through this. 

Chloe shot her a look, but nodded at the bartender. Gail could feel Chloe studying her carefully.

“What, Price?”

“Am I allowed to speak?”

Gail shrugged, rolling her eyes. “I’m injured, keep it at a reasonable decibel.”

The bartender came back with their drinks, setting them down before them. Gail immediately took a shot. 

“Who’s Holly?”

Gail froze. How the fuck did Chloe know that name? She stared at her with such a harsh expression Chloe actually shrank away. 

“It’s just…well…Oliver said…” Chloe trailed off nervously.

“Oliver said what?” Gail asked icily. 

Chloe swallowed. “He heard you muttering the name when that guy knocked you out. And he asked me who Holl…”

“Stop. Saying. Her. Name,” Gail snarled. She grabbed the extra shot from Chloe and downed it, following it with the entire jack and coke. She motioned for another from the bar tender. 

“Sorry, I just…”

“Shut. Up. Now.” Gail grabbed her new drink. She spotted Traci sitting across the bar and decided her company was much better than Chloe’s.

How the hell had she slipped up so badly and said…her…name? What the fuck was she actually thinking!? She was halfway through her second drink by the time she reached Traci’s table.

She was sort of smiling at the other woman when she spotted who was sitting on the opposite side of the booth. Andy perked up at her as she spotted her. 

“Gail!”

“Forget it, I’m out.”

“Gail, come on!” Traci called out, glancing between the two of them. “Join us.”

“I’d rather stick a hot poker into my eyeball and dig out the part of my brain that recognizes friendship than sit with her,” she told Traci before turning to Andy with a cheerful fake smile. “I mean, that’s what you did when you fucked my ex-boyfriend, wasn’t it?”

Andy shrank into her seat. 

Gail turned proudly to stride out of the bar, even as Andy called out, “You can’t be mad at me forever.”

“Try me!” she called over her shoulder. 

Once outside, she realized she had no plan whatsoever. She didn’t want to go home. The boys were having some lame video game marathon that she wasn’t allowed to participate in because “she cheats.” Which is a totally untrue accusation, they’re just mad she can beat them with one hand tied around her back. She knows; she’s tried. 

So what to do, what to do. The universe came to her rescue when her phone beeped. 

Text from Ash Breather: What’s shakin’ bacon?

She rolled her eyes, before latching on to a terrible idea. She texted him before she could think better of it. Come pick me up. The Black Penny. I wanna dance.

 

Arnie pulled up a little while later. Gail had been hiding out, leaning against the cool brick wall of the bar, scowling at anyone who passed. Luckily, no one she knew had come and gone from the bar, so she was fairly undisturbed. 

Arnie honked as he parked his tiny sports car up to the curb. That was new. She raised an eyebrow at it as she got into the passenger seat. 

“Nice car,” she remarked, running a hand over the nice leather interior. 

“Thanks,” Arnie remarked. He put the car into drive, and took off. 

“You can’t make enough for this car,” she said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. 

Arnie’s cheery disposition darkened almost unnoticeably. If she hadn’t known to look for it, she would never have noticed. “Well, you know, when your father finds you in a bit of a compromising potion with a male waiter at one of his fancy fund-raising shindigs, he buys you what he considers,” He deepened his voice in imitation, “‘straight-man toys’ to ‘impress the ladies.’”

Gail flinched. “Ouch, that sucks.”

Arnie shrugged. “Now I just pick up my male dates with it.”

“What about if you like a girl?” she asked carefully. Not sure if this was the correct question. 

“I feel like…” He sighed heavily, changing gears. “I feel like now that I’ve made this sort of declaration or whatever, if I date a woman he’ll just see that he’s won or whatever. Which is a totally fucked up way to go through life.”

Gail nodded, swallowing hard. She had had similar thoughts though. If she moved on from Holly with a man, would that make what Holly said true? That she had just been using her? She didn’t want to feel guiltier about what she had or hadn’t said to Holly than she already did. Not that Holly would know if she moved on with a man. Her mother had already been trying to set her up on blind dates over the last few months, insisting she couldn’t be happy alone. But if she went on these dates, what would that make her? Would she still like women?

She must have sighed because Arnie glanced over at her with a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, bisexuality is a bit complicated to figure out, isn’t it?”

“I’ve never felt more conflicted about anything in my life, and that’s saying a lot.” It was true though. On one hand, she knew she had been in love with men in the past. She had loved Nick, maybe not in the way she had once thought, but there had been love. With Holly…her stomach fluttered…with Holly, every fiber of her being lit up, tingled with an energy she couldn’t name, but if harnessed could power the entire city of Toronto. 

She groaned and hit her head against the headrest. Arnie patted her knee. 

“I don’t know what that makes me,” she confessed quietly. 

The car she realized now pulled into a parking spot. She could see up ahead a line outside of what was obviously a club. She glanced over at Arnie.

“Come on, Lead-Head,” he said, putting the car into park. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now.”

“I’m afraid I’ll never figure it out,” she said, ignoring the sad look he gave her. 

She got out of the car, and he followed closely behind. As they got nearer to the club, she spotted the sign: Gayspiration. She pursed her lips, and stared at Arnie. 

He smiled innocently. “What!? You needed some inspiration, didn’t you?” 

She rolled her eyes. Of course, he would find the one club in town that matched her existential crisis. Fuck it. She strode towards the door. Arnie was quick behind her. She went up to the bouncer, a big burly man who looked about as dumb as the trashcans behind him.

“Hold it, blondie,” he grunted. He threw a hand at the line behind her. 

She shot the line a lazy dismissive glance, before she turned her icy gaze to the bouncer. “Come on, now, I’m way too hot to wait in that line.”

He scoffed, turning away from her. 

“What about me?” Arnie suddenly piped in behind her. 

Dumb-dumb’s eyes ran the length of Arnie. The firefighter was in excellent shape, and even Gail had to admit he looked good in his tight long sleeved black shirt and tight jeans. The bouncer jumped up from his stool and lifted the rope. He ushered them through. 

“Thanks, gorgeous,” Arnie said with a wink as he took hold of Gail’s arm, and tugged her inside. “Gggaaayyy club, Gail. Gay.”

She yanked her arm out of his grip. “Yeah, yeah.”

The doorway they had entered led down a small hallway to a set of steep stairs. Gail glanced back at Arnie, before he waved a hand to usher her up them. She ascended nervously. She’d never been to a gay club before, never crossed her mind to be honest. She wasn’t sure if this would clarify some things or muddle them up more. As she pushed the door open, she decided she’d find out.

Instantly she was washed over with heat, her body pulsing along with the bass line pounding through the speakers. The space was large, an open loft style with a high ceiling and iron rafters. In the center of the room was the bar, which circled a central iron column. The bar was all glass and mirror. Up along the beams, were a series of balconies. One large one made of glass was obviously the VIP room. The other was open and made of iron where the DJ spun. Lights flashed different colors on a LED screen behind her in a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of patterns. 

Her study of the room was interrupted when she felt a sharp series of jabs to her rib. Arnie poked her in the side a few times. 

He leaned in close to be heard over the music. “Drink?”

She nodded, and allowed him to lead, parting the people in their way. When they got up to the bar, the bartender, a woman with a blue mohawk came over to them. She smiled, teasingly at Gail, as she leaned over to be heard or perhaps to flash that bit of cleavage in her direction. 

“What can I get you beautiful?” The woman’s voice was low and husky. She had dark eyebrows and pale skin with high cheekbones. She was skinny in a rather scrawny way, but her chest filled out her black tank top nicely. Not that Gail noticed.

Gail flushed. “Uh, a jack and coke.”

She nodded and looked at Arnie. “You?”

He was looking between them with a grin. “Gin and tonic.”

She went about making them, and Arnie slid up beside Gail to whisper in her ear. “Someone fancies you.”

Gail felt the unwanted smile tugging at her lips. She ducked her head down, shoving Arnie with her shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Hey, sweet thing,” a gruff voice said behind her. 

Gail turned. A man in a golf shirt stood there. He was handsome, but douchy in that still trying to be a frat boy way. At first, she thought he was talking to Arnie, after all they were in a gay bar, but he was leaning against her side of the bar expectantly looking at her. 

She blinked a few times. “What did you call me?”

“What sweet thing?” he said with an over confident air. 

She scowled. “Turn around, num nuts, and scram.”

“What you a lesbo?” he asked. 

She gestured all around her. “Do you see where you are?”

He moved closer, not really catching a hint. “I can change that.”

Ok, this guy didn’t just look like a dick. She put on her best ice bitch face. “Ok, you dou…”

“Woah, woah,” Arnie said, stepping between them. He held Gail back by the shoulders. “You don’t wanna do that.”

“Oh, I think I really do,” Gail snarled, struggling out of his grip. 

“I was talking to douche-bag McGill over here,” Arnie responded, turning back to the frat boy. “You really don’t wanna piss her off.”

“What is she? Some feminist-nazi, bra burning, strap on dyke?” he spit out angrily. He grabbed his package. “I got something that’ll cure that, sugar.”

“You small dick, small minded, ass-wipe!” Gail’s patience was up, and Arnie moved aside to let her. “You’ll leave this fucking bar now, and never even think of coming back, or you’ll find my boot so far up your ass you’ll be shitting shoelaces.” 

“Woah,” he said, putting his hands up in defense. “No need to go all loco on me. You’ll be regretting it in the morning when you coulda had all this.” He gestured to himself.

“Oh, yeah,” Gail said, sarcasm dripping off of every word. She took a few steps forward, making him back up. “I’m so sure I’ll cry myself to sleep every night thinking of what our fake-tanned, homophobic, popped collar children would have looked like while I’m tangled up naked with a hot woman between my legs.”

She ran her eyes over his form. “Woulda, coulda, shoulda, am I right?”

That made him back off as fast as humanly possible. The people around her cheered as he ran away with his tail between his legs. Gail blushed, and took a bow. 

When she turned back to the bar, the bartender was smiling at her. The blue-haired woman set down their drinks, she put an extra two shots on the counter. She pushed one towards Gail who looked up at her surprised. 

“What’s this?”

The woman smiled, and lifted the extra shot up. “Cheers.”

Gail smirked, picking up her shot. “And just what are we celebrating exactly?”

“That brilliant display, and…”

“And?”

The other woman raised an eyebrow, tantalizingly. “Meeting you.”

Gail let out a bark of a laugh. “Oh, you’re smooth.”

The woman laughed along with her. “Liked that, did you?”

“Mmm,” Gail hummed, clinking their glasses together before joining the woman in downing the shot. The shot of bourbon burned as it went down her throat, warming her through to the bone. The looks this woman was giving her, biting her blood red lips, was helping the warming process along nicely. “Are you supposed to be drinking on shift?”

“Who’s gonna tell?” she challenged, “You?”

Gail shook her head. “Nah, wouldn’t want you to get fired, even…” She stopped herself, blushing. Was she really about to say that?

“Even?” the woman pushed. 

Gail swallowed some liquid courage before answering. “Even if that meant I’d get a dance with you.”

The woman leaned more across the counter, so far that Gail had a perfect shot down her shirt. Not that she was looking. Those red lips brushed against her ear, breath hot and heavy, sending shivers down Gail’s spine. “Lucky for you, my shift is ending.”

When she pulled back, her lips brushing against Gail’s cheek, Gail let out a deep breath. “Yeah, lucky me.”

“Two minutes,” the woman said, gesturing down the bar to her till, “And I’m all yours.”

Gail nodded. “I’ll wait for you.”

When she had gone, Gail turned to enjoy her drink though her eyes followed the tips of the mohawk. 

“So you’ve found a friend,” Arnie piped up. 

Gail jumped. She had forgotten he was there. She frowned at him. “Creep. Have you been standing there the whole time?”

Arnie took a sip of his drink and shrugged. “Well, I didn’t want you to think I was abandoning you.”

“Go find yourself a date, loser,” Gail insisted. Her eyes found mohawk girl once again. She was looking right at her. Mohawk winked. “I’m busy.”

“Fine, fine,” Arnie said, moving around Gail towards the dance floor. “Enjoy your Sapphic bliss.”

She flipped him off. 

She turned to watch the girl counting down her drawer. She could do this, right? It was just a bit of fun. This girl was hot, and available, and interested. It was exactly what Gail needed to forget…she was going to have to start using her name…to forget Holly. 

She chugged her drink, finishing it. Before a voice over her shoulder asked, “Another?”

The woman was back, offering her another drink. Gail smiled at her. 

“Absolutely.” 

 

The woman’s name is turned out was Maya, and Maya was an excellent dancer. Her hands roamed down Gail’s torso. It practically hummed with desire for her. Her veins pulsed with alcohol, clouding thoughts of the brownest eyes. Every touch heightened under the influence of bourbon and tequila. Maya’s fingers brushed along her stomach, a pulsating firestorm swirling inside her. 

She wanted this, needed this. So she spun around to face Maya, wrapping her arms around her neck. She leaned in right then and kissed her. 

Maya was smiling against her lips, and damn she was a great kisser. Their lips moved against each other’s, languidly. Gail was testing the waters, but Maya seemed to want to pick up the pace. Her tongue ran along the edges of Gail’s lips. Gail opened her mouth. 

It was great. She was great. Gail could feel the chemistry. She wanted to feel it more. What was wrong with her?

She pulled back, and for a spit second those blue eyes in front of her were brown. That pale skin turned tanned. That blue hair morphed into dark brown. 

She cursed. 

Maya smiled. “Is that a good sign?”

“I…uh…I gotta go,” Gail declared. 

“What?” Maya said with a laugh. She obviously thought she was kidding.

Gail started backing away. “This has been…great. You’re great.”

Maya took a few steps forward, and Gail bumped into the people dancing behind them. 

She was far enough away she had to shout. The music pounded in her ears. “I have to go.”

She turned and ran, pushing any and everyone out of her way. 

She burst through the door, taking the stairs two at a time, before she burst out the side exit into the alleyway. She felt like she had been sprinting with all the built up adrenaline. The alcohol made the cement spin. She bent over, squeezing her eyes shut, willing everything to just slow down, her eyes, her mind, her heart. She wanted to go back in there, to dance with that beautiful woman, to kiss her, and ask for her number, but there was that aching feeling residing in her chest. She clutched at it in the hopes she could claw it from its hold on her heart. Holly. Holly. 

“Ffffuuuuccckkkk!” she yelled, turning to violently kick the nearest trashcan. It fell over with a clatter. 

“Gail?”

Arnie was poking his head out the door. Of course, he had seen her leaving. Apparently she sent up a fucking bat-signal every time she was in some sort of crisis that had him running to help lately. It was getting on her nerves. 

“Can’t you just let me fucking fall apart on my own!?” she shouted at him. 

He seemed unfazed by it. “Nah, that’s what I’m here for, babe.”

“Do not babe me tonight, Arnold,” she snapped. “I just…I can’t…”

She yelled out again in frustration and stomped the trashcan a few more times to let it out. If she didn’t let it out, it would eat her alive, and she couldn’t just let it sit inside her to fester. 

“Gail, you’re gonna break something,” Arnie said trying to reach out for her. 

“Yeah, and it might be your face,” she snarled, confronting Arnie, even though he was a good few inches taller than her. 

“Gail…it’s ok to fall apart,” he said softly. He placed his hands on either shoulder. It was the touch at did it. She felt herself soften. 

“I’ve fucked everything up,” she whispered. “As always.”

He pulled her into his arms. “It’ll be alright, honey.” 

“How do you know?” She couldn’t see herself breaking this pattern. She’d get close and hurt everyone and everything. 

He shrugged. “It’s a mystery.”

She shoved him away. “Quoting movies, really?”

He smiled cheekily. “Well it worked right?”

She ignored him, shoving her hands in her pockets. She took off down the alley towards the road. 

“Where’re you going?” Arnie called after her.

“Home,” she called back. She took out her phone, running down her contacts til she got to Nerdbian. She typed out a short message and sent it before she could think better of it. 

I’m sorry.


	12. Chapter 12

That morning had been rough. She’d woken up hung over with the persistent Chloe chattering away in the living room, defying all sound barriers, like walls. She’d rolled out of bed, placed herself in the hottest shower imaginable, leaning against the tiles to keep herself upright. 

It wasn’t until she was in the car, halfway to work, while she was trying to ignore Chloe’s morning chipperness that she’d even looked at her phone. 

There was a new text message. 

One new text message from the Nerdbian. 

She thought she might hyperventilate. She glanced around her. In the front seat, Chloe was jabbering away nonstop. Dov nodded occasionally as he drove, but didn’t actually seem to be listening. His eyes were steady on the road. 

She clicked the message. 

I’m sorry too.

That’s all there was. Gail swallowed, and it felt like shards along the back of her throat. She hadn’t remembered texting Holly until this very moment. God, how could she have been so stupid. She had to forget her. She needed to forget her. Maybe she should just go on those stupid dates her mother kept trying to set her up on. That way maybe she’d meet someone who’d drive those dark brown eyes from the insides of her eyelids.

“GAIL!” Dov yelled, causing her to jump. “Earth to ice queen!”

“What, Epstein?” she snapped. Blinking, she realized they were at work, and Chloe was no longer in the front seat. 

“I’ve been trying to tell you we’re here for a few minutes now,” he said, unbuckling and casting her a suspicious look. “What’s so important on that thing anyway?”

She clutched the phone to her chest, and pushed the seat in front of her out of the way so she could get out. 

“None of your business, loser,” she snarled, leaning back in to grab her bag. “Next time try normal human tones of voice.”

Dov laughed. “I did, but you just ignored me.”

“Well you aren’t very interesting, now are you?” She strutted away from him and into the building. 

Her heart still felt like it was in her throat, and it didn’t help that Andy came rushing up to her to cause the blood to rush to her ears. 

“Emergency meeting,” Andy said out of breath. “We gotta get dressed in a flash.”

Shit, emergency meeting at parade meant something serious had gone down. Gail put all thoughts of the pathologist out of her mind to deal with later. She had a job to do and it must be pretty serious. 

 

Today was turning out to be the worst day of her life. Not only was her friend, practically family member, blatantly attacked in a club, but the attack had led to the death of her friend’s girlfriend. A friend, Gail hadn’t known was gay. A friend whose police commissioner father hadn’t either, and now the entire police department knew. Caroline had not only lost her lover, but also gone from mostly closeted to completely out in a matter of one night. 

Gail wouldn’t even be able to see her until later that day. Caroline was admitted to the hospital and under sedation. She longed to talk to Caroline, to let her know she wasn’t alone, that nothing had changed between them. She could tell her she understood her hiding. 

It was halfway to the club where the incident had occurred that Gail realized. She turned to Andy in the driver’s seat in internalized horror. 

“McNally,” she said carefully. “What’s the name of this club again?”

“Gayspiration, why?” Andy responded distracted by the turn so she couldn’t see the fear that flitted across Gail’s face.

Gail turned to look out the window, to hide her expression. What a time for her mask to falter. “No reason.”

Fuck, fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck. Gail chanted in her head. This would happen to her. She was there last night. She must have just missed Caroline and her girlfriend. Maybe if she hadn’t have freaked the fuck out she would have been there, been able to prevent this from happening. 

They parked, and Gail hoped and prayed to every deity she could think of that no one recognized her there. 

They ducked under the police tape and McNally got distracted talking to the unit who responded. Gail, certain McNally had it, ascended the stairs. If she could get to that bar tender in time, she could make sure she didn’t spill that she was there that night.   
And sure enough, when Gail opened the door, there was Maya. The woman’s eyes locked on hers before widening in surprise. She smiled though as her gaze ran up and down Gail’s uniform. 

As Gail drew closer to where she was leaning up against the bar, Maya called out, “You look good in that.”

Gail scowled at her. Maya seemed unfazed, but when Gail turned the ice towards the rookie questioning Maya, it sent the rookie fleeing. 

“That’s some glare you’ve got there…” She glanced down at Gail’s nametag. “Officer Peck, kind of sexy.”

Gail took a step closer and lowered her voice. “Don’t, Maya, please.” She hated saying please even through gritted teeth. She needed this girl to keep her mouth shut. And even though everything in her body, everything she had grown up, trained to do, was telling her not to, she leaned in and asked, “Look, could you not tell any of them I was here?”

Maya raised a perfect eyebrow at her. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s just…ya know…” Gail could feel her face getting flushed. She hated getting embarrassed around anyone, but especially someone she didn’t really even know, even if they’d shared spit. 

“I get it,” she said with a wave of her hand. “You aren’t out to them, but I’m not gonna go to jail cause of it, ok? If they ask, I’ll tell them.”

Gail swallowed and nodded. “I understand. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for me.”

Maya’s expression softened a bit. She opened her mouth to say something, her hand inches from Gail’s upper arm when Traci decided to stroll up. Maya’s mouth closed and her arm crossed over her chest. Traci glanced between the two of them.

“I didn’t know you were lead on this,” Gail said in greeting. 

Traci’s eyes narrowed at the friendly manner Gail was using. “Yeah, you questioning the witness here?”

Gail shook her head. “I just sent a rookie packing. He was a bumbling idiot, but I hadn’t started with the questions yet.”

“You mind if I?” Traci indicated with the pen to Maya. She smiled at the bartender, who nervously smiled back.

“You’re the detective.” Gail said, trying to act as casual as she could muster.

“You worked the bar last night?” Traci began her questions standard. 

“Yeah,” Maya said, her eyes darting between Gail and Traci. She shifted on her feet nervously. 

Traci glanced over at Gail briefly. “Were you there the whole night?”

“Uh, no, I got off around 11, I think,” Maya said. Her eyes once again traveled to Gail before snapping back to Traci. She was the worst person at being subtle, Gail decided. 

“And what did you do after you got off work?”

“I was…uh…I danced.” Maya told her. 

Traci nodded. “Here at the club?”

“Yeah.”

“And how long were you dancing for?”

“Well…I…” Maya’s eyes shot to Gail again. “I was dancing from about 11 to 12 or 12:30?”

“You don’t know?” 

“I was kind of drunk by that point. I didn’t exactly look at my watch.”

Traci again nodded. “And can anyone back up this story?”

“Uh….” Maya hesitated. She sent a pleading look to Gail.

Gail sighed. Shit, fuck. At least it was just Traci. She’d maybe be able to contain the damage. She took Traci by the elbow.

“Peck?”

“Can I speak with you for a second, Nash?”

“Right now?” Her eyes darted to Maya. 

Gail nodded. “Yeah, it’ll only take a moment.”

Traci was obviously confused, but allowed Gail to lead her over to the other end of the bar, where she could still keep an eye on Maya. 

“She knows something she’s not saying,” Traci immediately said, “So whatever this is make it quick.”

“That’s not the reason she’s nervous, Trace,” Gail said, her eyes cast down. She couldn’t bare to look Traci in the eye when she said this. 

“How do you mean?”

“I asked her not to say who she was dancing with last night.” The words felt like iron in her throat, crushing at her windpipe. 

“Why would you…” Traci trailed off. When Gail finally chanced a look up, Traci’s eyes were wide. “Do you mean…?”

“Please, don’t tell anyone Trace,” Gail begged. “I’m just…I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Ok, wow, yeah, that wasn’t what I was expecting,” Traci rambled, blinking rapidly as though her brain was still trying to process. She took one look at Gail’s chagrined face and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine Gail. I won’t tell anyone, but I will need you to step away. You’ll risk the crime scene and the case.”

Gail nodded. She knew that. She knew if anyone found out she was here last night she’d have to step back, which meant. “You mean we’re gonna have to tell Frank…”

Traci shook her head. “I’ll tell him that you stepped back since you were so close to Caroline. You didn’t want your emotions to be put up as any reason to upset the case or put evidence into question.”

Gail nodded. That made perfect sense. “Thanks, Trace.” 

“I’m still gonna need to take your statement though,” she said, squeezing her arm in reassurance. “I promise no names.”

Gail shook her head. She understood, and the fact that Traci would even allow her to keep this secret and safe was something she would be forever grateful for. If anyone else found out, Elaine Peck would be showing up at her daughter’s door, carting her off to God-only-knows where to fix her. “Trace, seriously, thanks.”

Trace smiled warmly with a softness only a mother could have. “It’s alright, Gail. Everyone deserves to be happy, you know. Even you.”

Gail swallowed. She wasn’t sure what to say to that, but Traci saved her from answering by moving away. She looked over at Marlo. “Hey, Cruz, I’m gonna need you to switch partners. You and Peck here are gonna go help Swarek on a case in the woods. Got it?”

Marlo narrowed her eyes a bit in confusion, but seemed to let it go. “Alright. Peck?”

Gail nodded. She cast a glance over at Maya briefly, giving the woman a slight nod. Maya cracked a smile at her. It was sympathetic, and Gail hated it. 

“What’d you do to get kicked off the big case?” Marlo asked once they’d made it outside and into the squad car. She glanced over at Gail from the road. Gail wished she was the one driving. Driving kept her mind focused. Without it, her brain was going a thousand directions at once.

“Huh?” Gail said immediately. Realizing she was a bit too jumpy, she attempted to backtrack. “Oh, I knew the deceased’s girlfriend. We’ve been friends for years.”

“But you didn’t know she was gay?” Always straight to the point.

“No, I didn’t know that,” Gail said with a sigh. She wished Caroline had confided in her. They could have helped each other. Gail could have been there when all this shit went down. 

“Why do you think that is?”

“What is this twenty questions, Cruz?” Gail snapped. She was tired of fielding questions, tired of people looking at her funny. She was just fucking tired. If they could just get to this crime scene, so she could go see Caroline. 

“Sorry, sorry, none of my business,” Marlo said, her focus returning to the road. 

That was one nice thing about Cruz. She knew when to shut up. The only downside to Cruz shutting up is it left Gail’s mind to wander again. Just how many people around her were secretly harboring feelings towards the same sex? Arnie, now Caroline. Was there a gay/bi anonymous she could join? She made a face. That made it sound like an addiction. 

“PECK!”

“WHAT!?”

She turned sharply, and realized the car had stopped.

“We’re here.”

They were in the middle of nowhere. The team was already set up with a parameter around a bit of woods. The CSI guys were all down there taking pictures and labeling.

Swarek looked up from the body as they approached. “Hey, Peck, Cruz.”

Things between Marlo and Sam were strange. They were looking at each other warmly, and Gail rolled her eyes. She didn’t need to witness their mushy gushy. At this rate, she’d rather just tell her mother to be dragged away from their stares. 

As it turned out, all that was left for them to do was stand around and wait. Gail hated waiting, hated the stillness of it. She bounced a bit on her toes, trying to rid herself of pent up energy. Where was this dumb doctor anyway? Late. Lost. A combination of both. 

She was trying not to let her mind wander off onto other doctors when a figure passed her: a brunette woman with a stupid red lunchbox in her hand. What’d she think this was? A school cafeteria? 

“Hey, Lunchbox! You aren’t allowed down there!” she called after her.

“Appreciate it!” the woman called back not paying a lick of attention.

“No, I said…” Gail basically growled. 

The woman turned just then, and Gail froze. She blinked a few times, but this ghostly manifestation of her straying mind was actually a solid person staring at her, looking far less surprised than the blonde police officer. 

“You mean me?” Holly said with that lopsided smile. She moved a bit closer and tugged at her ID badge. “I’m the forensic pathologist, see?”

This had to be a joke. She was having some sort of episode, hallucinating. “Where’s the normal sweaty guy?”

“Dr. Finley? He retired. There was a party.”

Gail shrugged. “I can’t be expected to keep up with the nerd squad.”

“No, I guess not,” Holly said. They seemed to be moving closer to each other without noticing. Gail planted her feet firmly, resigned to not move another inch. “I’m on loan from Ottawa.”

“Loan? So not permanent?” Gail held her breath. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Depends.” 

She wasn’t making this easy at all. She was standing there being all…Holly…with her lopsided smile and her cool air. Gail wanted to scream or kiss her. One of the two. 

“Depends on?” she prodded. 

“If I like it here.” She leaned forward as she said it, and Gail’s eyes swept immediately down her collar to the glorious low-cut of her blouse before she could catch herself. From the increase in Holly’s smirk, she knew she wasn’t quick enough. 

“Hey, doc!” Swarek called out.

Holly winked at Gail. “Gotta go. Dead body and all.”

And just like she had swept in, she swept right back out. It left Gail feeling like she’d just come out of a Tilt-a-Whirl: dizzy and confused, tittering between wanting to puke and wanting to cheer. 

Gail wasn’t sure how long she just stood there, staring at the back of Dr. Holly Stewart as she leant over a decomposing body. Her thoughts were definitely going to places it shouldn’t at a crime scene. Imagining certain tats and how they shaped around certain parts of her body. How Gail’s tongue traced along each of them before…

“PECK!”

Her attention snapped up. Holly was looking at her amusedly. She inclined her head towards Sam who was staring at her like something was seriously wrong. 

“You with us, Peck?” 

“Yes, sir, sorry,” Gail muttered, embarrassed that her mind had wandered like that. She hoped the reddening of her cheeks would be put down to the cold. 

“I need someone to go to the morgue. Cruz volunteered to stay. You alright with death duty?” He placed it like a question, but Gail had been around cops all her life, she knew when a question was really an order. 

“Yes, sir.” It would get her out of the cold anyway. It had nothing to do with to whom she would be spending her time. 

“Then you’re with Dr….sorry what was your name again?” he asked Holly.

“Stewart,” Holly and Gail said at the same time. 

Holly smiled at her, but Sam frowned. Gail remembering someone’s name on the first try was a miracle into itself. She cursed her stupid mind. That wasn’t obvious or anything. 

Holly trudged up the hill, and Gail gratefully turned to follow her. 

What the hell was Holly doing here? On loan, she had said, from Ottawa. Could be permanent. If she liked it here, that is. Gail wanted her to like it here. She really wanted her to like it here. Right?

She felt that swell of anxiety as she got into Holly’s nice SUV. What would happen if she did stay? What would that mean for them? So many questions, so little answers. The only thing Gail knew was that she was happy to see Holly again. 

“Nice car.” Her voice was steady that was good.

Holly sent her another lopsided smile. “Thanks. It’s not mine.”

“Taken up car theft in your spare time, have you?” Gail said. 

“Absolutely,” Holly said, turning the car on, “I’ve got the biggest car theft ring in the Toronto area.”

Gail felt them slipping back into their friendly banter. “I’d expect nothing less than perfection.”

“But of course,” Holly said. She pulled out of the wooded enclosure, and onto the main road. “Gotta make a good living here in the big city.”

“So the real reason you’re here emerges.” Gail felt herself easing up as the snark flew between them.

“What’d you think I came for? The crime?”

Gail couldn’t help it. She had to ask. “You didn’t…I mean…you didn’t come for…”

“What? You?”

They both froze. Holly was the first to recover, and Gail’s assumption didn’t go over very well with the hardworking, independent pathologist. 

“Oh, yeah, Gail, my whole world revolves around you now, just because we slept together once,” Holly snapped. 

Well there went that. Gail tried to hide her expression, turning to look out the window. You’re a fool, Peck. She didn’t come here for you. 

Holly sighed, heavily. “Gail,” she said softly, casting a small smile over to her passenger. “I’m sorry. I was a bit harsh with you.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed…”

“No,” she cut her off. “I mean back in New York. That night, morning, whatever. I was horrible to you, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have expected anything more from you.”

You should expect the world. Gail wanted to say, instead she said, “It’s fine.”

“It really wasn’t. I just...,” Holly trailed off. She shook her head as if trying to banish the thoughts from her head. 

Gail wanted to reach out and run her hands through the hair that kept falling front of Holly’s glasses as she drove, but instead she sat on her hand so it wouldn’t move. The woman beside her was gorgeous. 

“Can we…” Holly started, shooting a nervous look over at Gail. 

“Can we what?” Gail probed. Try again.

“Be friends?” 

Friends was not the word Gail Peck thought of when she thought of Holly Stewart, but maybe this was the start over point. This time she vowed not to fuck it up. If she and Holly were meant to be, it would happen, and she would be damn sure she would fight for it, for them. If that meant friends first, she’d do that. 

Operation Woo Holly to begin. 

“Friends.”


	13. Chapter 13

The morgue was an oddly comforting place. Maybe it was the silence of it all, or the cool crisp air from all the refrigeration. Gail suspected it had more to do with the woman in front of her stooped over a rotting corps. A strand of hair kept falling out of her ponytail and no matter how many tiny jerks of her head it stayed caught on the end of her glasses. Gail tried to stifle the giggle, but failed. Holly’s glare was betrayed with the tiny perk at the edges of her lips. 

“What can you tell about a person?” Gail asked from her perch on Holly’s desk. 

Holly’s eyes returned to the body, shuffling the bones around to their correct positions. “It’s like putting together a puzzle. He’s a full-grown male, probably early twenties. Not archeological. His bones are still greasy, and a bit smelly, ya find?”

“I just thought that was you,” Gail snarked, appreciating the way that Holly’s mouth automatically popped sidewise into that half smirk. 

She’d been trying to be on her best behavior since the car ride in. The bit where she had assumed Holly had come to the city for her still hung between them, heavy like the air before a thunderstorm. Gail was trying to make sure it didn’t rain. 

“I’ll have to carbon date it, but I’d say he’s been dead ten years,” Holly continued. She poked at a bone, or examined it. Something nerdy that Gail was sure she’d never understand. She liked watching her though. The gears turning in Holly’s head, visualizing and calculating was almost visible upon the Doctor’s face. 

Gail was startled out of her musings by Swarek, who swept into the room like he owned the place. He looked at Holly. “Tell me you’ve got something.”

“Normally it’d take longer, but your buddy here has a metal plate in his humerus,” Holly said, holding up the bone. “All metal plates have a serial number.”

Gail hopped down from her perch, and pulled out her notepad. “His name was Robert Robins. He was born in 1979.”

Swarek’s face lit up with recognition. “Robert Robins? Been there say for about ten years?” he directed the question to Holly. 

Holly shot a surprised look to Gail, who shrugged. “That’s my estimate.”

Swarek laughed. “I worked this case ten years ago when he went missing. How did he die?”

Holly shook her head, attention back on the bones. The wheels were clicking away again. “Don’t know yet.”

Swarek pointed at the bones, backing out of the room. “I’ve got a debt to collect,” he said vaguely, and then he was gone.

Holly looked at Gail and raised an eyebrow. “Is he always like this?”

Gail shrugged. Sam had had it about as rough as Gail had over the past year with Jerry, and then his whole break-up with McNally. She hoped things worked out with him and Cruz. “Sam’s weird.”

“Says the queen of weird,” Holly remarked. Her eyes were back on the bones, but Gail could see that infuriating crooked smile. 

“I thought you liked weird,” Gail said. It took her a moment, but she flinched. Why the fuck would she go and say something like that?

Holly let out a long sigh. She placed the bone back down on the table and turned to look at Gail. 

Before she could speak, Gail piped in, “I know, Lunchbox, I know. Sorry.”

Holly rolled her eyes. “Lunchbox? What nerdbian and nerd and Holls and whatever else you feel like calling me, aren’t enough nicknames?”

“Well, when you are so far into the nerdom as you are, one cannot simply pick one. I need a collection to properly describe the woman in front of me,” Gail said with a smirk. She shouldn’t be flirting; she knew that, it was just hard with Holly right there, so close. 

“Oh, really?” Holly asked, one eyebrow rising almost in challenge. 

Gail swayed towards her as casually as possible. “Really. You’re a complex woman, Holly Stewart. Your nicknames should reflect that. One would not do you justice.”

She stood close to Holly, lightly brushing the lapels of her lab coat down with both hands. She smiled up at her. Holly’s breath hitched at her touch. Gail’s eyes were drawn to the long expanse of the other woman’s neck as she swallowed hard. 

Holly broke away, brushing past Gail to the desk. “I know what you’re doing.”

“And what is that?” Gail asked innocently as possible.

Holly gave her a hard stare from where she was bent over sorting through papers. Gail tried hard not to gaze down her blouse. “Friends, Gail. I said we could be friends.”

“Am I not being friendly enough, Holly?” She put a bit of extra swagger in her hips as she moved towards her.

“Gail…” Holly warned. 

“I’m just being friendly, Stewart,” Gail said, sitting back on Holly’s desk, close to the other woman. “Just like you wanted.”

Holly leaned in a bit, and Gail’s breath hitched. A moment passed between them, where they just breathed in each other. It would take nothing for Gail to just lean in and press her mouth against Holly’s. She didn’t even care that there was a dead body behind them, the draw was that great, but it would cost her more than a momentary gain. She was almost grateful when Holly spoke, “Well, stop it.”

There was a look of triumph on Holly’s face as she walked away. Gail swallowed hard. 

They spent the rest of the day like that, teasing each other, falling back into their old ways. Ever since Gail had met her, Holly held an easiness to her that no one else had achieved with the snarky, grump-ball of a police officer, and Gail found herself not annoyed by that ease in the least. It was rather reassuring that there was at least someone out there who tried hard enough to get past those walls and that frown. Though Gail had let her pass without much protest. 

As the case was solved, and Swarek made the arrest, Gail was disappointed that her excuse for spending time with Holly was over. She rotated slowly in her chair, taking in the peace of everything around her. 

“Something tells me you like it here,” Holly commented, no judgment, just a smile. 

“I could live here,” Gail sighed. She was flooded with the sudden urge to tell Holly how sorry she was. How she wanted to make everything right with her. How they were right together. She was just scared, and that fear drove her. “Holly…”

Holly tilted her head to consider her. Gail took a shaky breath and continued, “I’m like a cat. I’m very good at climbing trees, and the minute I get up there, I don’t…I have no idea what to do. I want to get down, but don’t know how to do that. So I create an emergency situation…”

This analogy was obviously not clicking with Holly like it had with Gail. She thought she was making perfect sense, but the other woman just looked confused. “Out of the tree?”

“Of relationships…” Gail clarified. 

“Gail…” Understanding flooded Holly’s face. 

“I know Holly, I’m not making excuses. I’m not looking for anything more if you don’t want it. I just…I didn’t want this thing between us to settle into something we both don’t want. That we never talk about it. That it hangs between us. I want to know you, Holly Stewart. I don’t want what I did to get in the way of that.”

It was the most honest Gail Peck could be with anyone. It was the most honest she’d ever been with herself. Because no matter what, she wanted to know Holly Stewart, not just love her, sure she wanted that, but what she really needed was this woman, this incredible woman to smile that crooked smile at her for every second of her life. No matter the capacity in which their relationship proceeded. 

Gail blinked, and Holly was there, up in her space. Two cool hands cupped Gail’s cheeks. Gail stared up at those brown eyes, that slight head tilt, that considered expression. 

“You will never not know me, Gail Peck.” Holly’s voice was soft, the air around them too delicate for loud proclamations. “But my heart can’t handle anything more right now, then just this, just friends.”

Gail nodded, afraid her voice would crack under the pressure of words. It was in that moment that Gail saw the effects of her decision, all those months ago. There were fractures in those eyes, fissures in the crook of her lips, holes that spoke of hurt and abandonment, of deep seeded doubts and palpable fear. This incredible woman was haunted by something that Gail had summoned back to the surface. 

She knew so little about Holly’s past. Only the story of the girl next door, that kiss of realization, the rest of the stories that made up this woman were a complete mystery. 

Holly’s hands fell from her face, pressing into the shoulders of her uniform as though bracing herself. Gail wrapped her hands around Holly’s wrists with a light touch, if the other woman wanted to she could break away with ease, but Gail wanted just another moment, just one moment, with her this close. 

“Do you…” Holly stopped. Her hands dragged from Gail’s shoulders and wrapped themselves around her own torso, a protective barrier. 

“Do I what?” Gail prompted with gentle urging. She’d do anything this woman asked of her. 

Holly’s eyes darted around the room, never meeting Gail’s eyes. It was like they were teenagers again, bumbling around their crushes, not knowing how to act. “Do you want to grab a drink?”

“Yes,” Gail said immediately, then stopped and frowned. “Wait, no.”

“Oh.” Holly was obviously trying not to look hurt, but was failing. She turned around to hide her face under the guise of getting her bag, but Gail saw right through that. She jumped up and placed a hand on her shoulder, urging her to turn.

“Last night…a friend of mine was attacked,” Gail told her. Holly’s face fell from awkward to concerned instantly. “She’s in the hospital, a coma. Her…her girlfriend wasn’t so lucky.”

“Oh, Gail, I’m so sorry,” Holly said. She opened her arms and kind of jolted forward a moment as if to give her a hug before thinking better of it. She settled on patting Gail’s biceps, awkwardly. 

“I have to go see her. I have to…” Make sense of this. Gail wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but felt the words bubbling up inside her, ones she couldn’t stop. “I just…why didn’t she tell me? I didn’t know. It would have…” She glanced up at Holly’s face. Her inside broke. “I could have been there, Holly.” I was there. “I could have stopped this.”

Holly’s hands were stroking up and down Gail’s arms. “You couldn’t have known Gail. This isn’t your fault. You know how hard it is, how difficult accepting it can be, and you know how terrible people can be about it. She was probably just afraid of your reaction.”

There were tears now, whether Gail liked them or not. “But how could she think that of me? That I would reject her like that?”

“Gail, sweetie, it’s not logical. It’s never logical. If she knew you as well as I think she did, then she knew you would support her, but that doesn’t take away the fear. It can eat you up from the inside.” Holly sighed, and closed her eyes. “Sometimes it isn’t about the other person, sometimes it’s about you. You have to battle you, before you can think about battling or not battling someone else.”

When Holly opened her eyes, there was an intensity behind them that bore into Gail, communicating all the unspoken things between them: I understand. I’m here. You aren’t alone. 

Without thinking it through, Gail wrapped her arms around Holly and pulling her into a hug. Holly froze for moment, before melting into it. Her arms found their way around Gail. Gail’s head found the crook in Holly’s shoulder. Holly’s head rested atop Gail’s. 

They stayed like that a while, feeling the pounding of the other’s heart, the rise and fall of their chest in unison, becoming a fixed point in the universe for the briefest of moments. 

And then the point was broken, and everything moved again. Holly pulled away with a sad, but supportive smile. Gail tried to smile back as best she could. 

“Come on,” Holly said, grabbing her bag, “Before they turn the lights off on us. Believe me the morgue is not a place you want to navigate in the dark.”

Gail snorted, her dark mood forgotten for the moment. “Speaking from experience?”

Holly flushed, and there was a pause before she answered, “No.”

“Liar.”

They navigated the halls in silence, not uncomfortable, just slightly awkward. It wasn’t until they reached the parking garage that either spoke. 

“Well, I’m this way...as you know.” Holly jerked her thumb towards the other side of the garage. 

Gail frowned, and headed that direction. She paused when Holly didn’t follow. 

“I’m not letting you walk around here by yourself at night, nerd,” she said with a gruff “you should know that” indignation. “So hop to it, I’ve got places to be.”

The laugh that garnered was between a snort and a chuckle, but Holly acquiesced, following behind Gail dutifully. The SUV had darkened windows, so Gail shown her flashlight into the backseat, and opened the trunk just to check.

“Paranoid?” Holly remarked, throwing her bag into the back.

“Cautious,” Gail retorted. “Here.”

Gail pulled her police grade mace off her belt, and handed it to the Doctor. 

“Gail, I don’t think you’re supposed to give me this,” Holly said, though she took the mace, studying the instructions on the label. “I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for me to have this strength.”

“You get attacked, Lunchbox, there’s not a single cop in this city who will arrest you for defending yourself with this,” she assured, stepping close and closing Holly’s hand around the mace with her own. “And if they do, they’ll answer to me.”

Holly gave her a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” They were close, Gail pressing their hands, still wrapped around the mace, against Holly’s chest. 

“I…” Gail faltered. She stepped back, hand falling to her side. “I want you to be safe.”

Holly nodded. “I will be.”

“Call me when you get home,” Gail said, “Call, don’t text. I need to hear you say you’re home ok? If there is ever anyone there with you, you just tell me where we kissed for the first time. Not the one in the hotel room. I don’t count that one.”

That made Holly smile. “Oh, you don’t, do you?”

Gail couldn’t help the half smile. “Nope. Now be serious, do you promise?”

Holly nodded. “I promise, Gail.”

“Good.” The weight on Gail’s chest lifted a bit. Holly would be ok. Holly would be safe. This wasn’t some idiot out killing every lesbian he could find, right? Right. She didn’t feel assured. “You’ll call?”

“I’ll call,” Holly assured.

“Not text?”

“Not text.”

“Ok, then, goodnight.” Gail backed away, watching Holly as she moved to get into her car.

“Goodnight,” Holly said as she pulled herself into the driver’s seat, and closed the door. 

Gail waited until she turned on the engine, and drove towards the exit before she went to her own vehicle. When she pulled through the security gates, Holly idled outside by the curb. Their eyes met as Gail pulled up beside her. Holly gave her that lop-sided smile complete with the head tilt and a little shrug. Gail smiled and nodded. Holly was checking up on her, making sure she was safe. She tried to ignore the way warmth spread through her chest at the thought. 

 

Where the morgue gave her a sense of calm, hospitals gave her a sense of panic, terror, and claustrophobia. She knew it was remains from a time when her head was filled with the clicking of wing tips on cement floors, and her body bared the evidence of what had happened to her, and though her body had heeled, the mind could never quite get those echoing clicks out for good. When she was in dark places, they became the white noise around her. When she was in tight spaces, his breath was the air on the back of her neck. When she was in hospitals, the fluorescent lights became spotlights, marking her a victim. 

She went to adjust her duty belt as she walked down the hospital corridor, but found it not there. She had changed into her regular clothes. The uniform, the belt, the gun, all made her feel powerful. Jeans and a sweater only made her more aware of how awkward she was. She shouldn’t have changed. 

504\. Caroline’s room. Gail stopped, staring at the door, which was a tiny bit ajar. Behind it, Caroline would lay, beaten and unconscious, machines keeping her breathing, keeping her alive. Was Gail prepared for this?

She closed her eyes, and imagined warm brown eyes. She could do this. 

She opened the door. 

Machines beeped and wheezed with every breath that the still Caroline made. Or perhaps the wheeze caused every breath Caroline took. She looked so small in that bed surrounded and hooked to all these things keeping her alive. 

As children, Carolina and Gail were inseparable. They’d wake up early every Saturday, and even though they’d seen each other at school the day before, would rush over to the other’s house, biking as fast as they could, just so they could watch cartoons together. Gail’s nanny, Rosaline, would make them pancakes, and teach them Spanish. 

They’d climb the big tree in Gail’s back yard as high as they could, and act like it was the mast of a pirate ship. Caroline always insisted on being the Captain, while Gail was regulated to First Officer. She didn’t mind though for the dimpled smile Caroline shot her as they made plans for proper pillaging locations. 

When they got to middle school, they were each other’s rocks. They were the friend they went to for crushes on boys, and attempts to figure out what exactly concealer was. They had ideas of what they’d do when they grew up, the kind of person they’d marry, and filled notebook after notebook with their dreams of the future. 

It was only when they were in high school did they drift apart. Caroline had hit puberty a bit quicker than Gail, and boys had taken notice. She’d moved very quickly into the popular kids circles, and Gail, well, Gail was still mainly baby fat. She was awkward and unsure of herself, and without Caroline around, friendless. She’d never had to try and make friends. Caroline had always been there since birth. 

Once Gail had lost the baby fat, and her mother had forced her into a rigorous exercise routine did Caroline take notice again. Gail remembers vividly the day in the lunchroom where she slid onto the bench beside Gail. Caroline opened her mouth to speak, but Gail ignored her, standing and walking away. She’d see how Caroline liked being ignored, and Gail would have her satisfaction when she crawled back for forgiveness. But Caroline never approached her again, and Gail knew she had made a mistake. She should have just heard her out, even though nothing could excuse ignoring her. The truth was Gail was lonely. She missed the constant presence that Caroline provided. She made Gail more confident in herself, in her self worth. Alone, the doubts creeped in, alone, who was she? Nobody.

As adults, they had crossed paths multiple times. Gone to the same police functions. Though Caroline was a lawyer, much to her father’s chagrin. They had only really started their friendship over again recently. When stuck at another one of Elaine’s boring functions, did they find themselves getting drunk and joking around with each other again. They started meeting up after that for coffee, sometimes lunch. When Caroline won a big case, Gail took her out for dinner. They went to the movies.

Gail stopped. Wait. Had…had she been dating Caroline? No. She shook the thought out of her mind. They were just getting back to friends. It was never like that. Then again, Gail wasn’t sure what anything was like anymore. 

This whole year had shaken everything about her to the very core, and she wasn’t sure if she could fight her way back up to where she had been, battle armor intact. Maybe she didn’t want to. Not after Caroline. Not after Holly. 

Holly. She wondered what Caroline would think of her. She’d probably love her. Gail doubted anyone couldn’t love Holly. She was hard to dislike. 

Gail reached a shaky hand out to Caroline’s pale one, and took it. She would wake up. They’d joke about how gay they’d been all along. How maybe they might have gone on a few dates without knowing it. How much Gail wanted to be a part of Caroline’s life again. How much she wanted Caroline to meet the girl who won Gail Peck’s icey heart. 

She would wake up. She had to. Until then, Gail would wait. Gail would fight for her. Be her voice when she had none. No one would say a single bad thing about Caroline or her girlfriend. Gail would make sure of that. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Holly. She pulled it out and pressed it against her ear, waiting to hear her voice.

“Hi.”


	14. Chapter 14

It took years for Gail Peck to feel fully comfortable around people. It’s why her trust in Holly took her by surprise. Even now sitting in this restaurant staring at a woman she’d known for years, Gail felt awkward. 

“Gail,” Traci said, looking over her sushi at the jittering blonde. “Could you stop looking at me like I’m about to pull out your wisdom teeth for information? This isn’t an interrogation. It’s just lunch.”

Gail scowled, but stilled her movements, becoming ever more self-conscious on the way her body was betraying her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right,” Traci said, popping a roll in her mouth and chewing it thoughtfully. She eyed Gail for a moment, her head tilting to the side like she was trying to see a puzzle from another angle. The move reminded her of a certain brunette. 

“What!?” Gail snapped. She stabbed at her own sushi, letting it fall apart in her frustration. 

Traci shook her head. “Nothing. You just seem…”

“I seem?” Gail waved her hand to get the other woman to continue. 

“Different.” The detective shrugged. “That’s all.”

Eyes narrowing, Gail sat back in her chair, a move meant to distance herself. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m exactly the same.”

Traci prodded the air with her chopsticks as she gestured. “No, you aren’t.”

Gail sighed. “Just cause I figured out I’m…”

“Gay?” Traci offered. 

“….like women,” Gail continued. She still wasn’t sure if it was all women, women and men, or just Holly that peaked her interest. Though she supposed after Maya, the last option was pretty much off the table. “Doesn’t mean I’m different.”

Traci shook her head. “No, that’s not it. Something…happened didn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Gail asked. She cursed all the gods out there that she had only cop friends. Figuring out mysteries and people were their jobs. The fact she kept this secret for so long was amazing onto itself. Then again, she couldn’t give away something she didn’t know. 

“I don’t know. You just seem different since you came back from that conference. I thought maybe…” Traci’s eyes darted down to the table, playing it as casual as she could not to freak Gail out. 

Gail was getting sick of this stupid game. Skirting around issues was never her cup of tea. She’d rather people just say what they were thinking and be done with it. “Out with it, Trace, before I grow old and die here.”

“Did you meet someone there?” 

The lump in Gail’s throat threatened to suffocate her. She swallowed it down, trying to keep her breath normal and even. Brown eyes flashed in her head along with that infuriating lopsided smile. “Where?”

Traci shot her a look. “Don’t play dumb.”

Gail shook the image of Holly out of her head, before her thoughts gave way on her face. “Does it matter?” 

Reaching across the table, Traci laid her hand on top of Gail’s. “Of course it matters. Everyone deserves to be happy, Gail. Even you.”

Gail gave her hand a quick squeeze before she crossed her arms over her chest. Traci was looking at her so sincerely, a look just aching for her to open up and share. But Gail Peck had never been good at sharing her feelings, never been good at being the gabbing friend who talks about her crushes or her failures. All she wanted was to keep going as professionals, and allow her feelings for Holly to get smothered under intense police work. 

She felt guilty even thinking about her own love life with Caroline sitting there, unconscious in a hospital bed, the love of her life dead and gone. Had this girl been the love of Caroline’s life? Had they had plans for a future? Gail shook the thoughts away. She didn’t want to think of that now. 

“You asked me here for a reason. Can we get back to that?” Gail could almost feel her eyes steel themselves, back was the mask that a certain pathologist had chip away piece by piece. There were still cracks, but damn if she wasn’t trying to patch them back as quickly as possible. 

Traci let out a long sigh, sitting back in her chair. “Fine, Gail, have it your way.”

“I will, thanks.” She let out a breath. This she could do. 

Pulling out her notepad, Traci began her questioning: “What time did you arrive at the bar?”

“I left the Black Penny and went directly there. Must have been 11?” Gail guessed. She hadn’t been watching the clock. In fact, she had been trying to forget time and everything else in the world that night. 

Traci nodded. “Who did you talk to? Were you alone?”

Shit. She hadn’t thought about Arnie, calling to warn him, calling to make sure she could say what she needed to say. Always thinking about just her own problems as usual. 

As though she could see the struggle on Gail’s face, Traci tried to reassure her, “It’s ok, Gail. Anything you say will only be part of my records. I’ll try to minimize any other officer’s involvement. Especially…”

“My brother’s?” Gail supplied. She knew there was something going on between the two of them. It was pretty obvious from all the interactions she’d seen in the last six months that while she was gone something had happened between her brother and the woman in front of her. She did not want to know what. 

“Yes, I’ll keep Steve out of it. I promise.” 

“Oh yeah, you’ve done a great job of keeping my brother out, huh, Nash?” Gail reveled in the slight stunned look on Traci’s face. 

The look was blinked away in an instant, but an instant too late. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gail smirked. “Now who’s playing dumb?”

“I thought you wanted to stay on topic?” Traci gestured to her notepad. 

“Fine, fine, I was with Arnie….Olsen,” Gail admitted. She hoped Arnie wouldn’t hold it against her, but she knew the more people they could eliminate from the club the easier it would be to find the real killer. 

“Steve’s best friend?” 

Gail’s eyebrows rose. She fluttered her eyes dramatically, resting her head in the palm of her hand as she leaned across the table. Traci drew back, her eyes narrowing. “Now, now, one sure does know a lot about my brother, doesn’t one?”

Traci rolled her eyes. “One is partnered with your brother on a regular basis. He talks a lot.”

“Uh huh, sure, whatever you say detective,” Gail said watching the other woman shift uncomfortably in her seat. Her eyes darted through the text on her notepad as if she were trying to come up with another question to distract her. “But your shiftiness tells me something different.”

“When did you get so observant?” Traci asked. 

Gail leaned back in her seat with a smirk. “Hey, you aren’t the only cop at the table. I was basically bred to be one.”

“You and your brother are annoyingly alike sometimes,” she remarked with a laugh. 

“And how would you know that exactly?” 

“Cut the crap, Gail. I know you know.” 

Gail wasn’t done torturing her though. Traci should have told her. Hell her brother should have told her. How long had they been…doing whatever they were doing? Gail scowled. Ugh, she didn’t want to think about whatever they’ve been doing. Gross. 

“When was someone gonna tell me my best friend and my brother were dating, hmm?” she asked. 

Traci deflated with a small smile. “Best friend, huh?”

Gail’s face flushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

They dissolved into a comfortable silence. Traci let Gail have a moment to get over her embarrassment at her admission. Gail had always felt close to Traci, even from the first day they had met. Fresh out of the academy, Traci had been the first person Gail had tried to make friends with, tried to bridge the giant gap that was her police parent privilege. She snorted at the memory.

“What?” Traci asked, a smile coming over her face at her friend’s amusement. 

“Do you remember the first time I tried to get you to come to sushi?” She flinched at the memory. She had been so awkward, so unsure as to how to make friends that her attempts had fell through pathetically.

“Mmhmm,” Traci hummed. “I seem to recall you asked me to lunch. Now that I think on it, you did kind of sound like you were asking me on a date.”

Gail could feel the blush rising up her neck. “That wasn’t…I wasn’t…” 

Traci laughed. “Gail, I was kidding.”

“Oh,” Gail said, ducking her head down in embarrassment. When she looked back up though, she had regained her smug Peck smile. “You sure, Nash? You think now you’ve picked the wrong Peck to crush on? Lost your opportunity with the woman of your dreams here.”

Traci’s eye roll was so epic it could only compete with her exasperated sigh. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Cause I’m charming, good looking, and an all around kickass human being,” Gail supplied. 

“Yeah, sure, we’ll go with that.”

Their conversation took a more serious tone after that when Gail finally had the courage to ask the thing she’d been wondering for days. But she needed to know what happened, if there was a way to stop it and if there had been if her presence at the club could have stopped all this from happening. 

“So what exactly happened with…” Gail trailed off. She realized she didn’t even know what Caroline’s girlfriend’s name was. 

“Sally. Sally Sanders,” Traci supplied.

“Sally,” Gail mumbled poking at her sushi roll.

A picture was pushed across the table. Gail picked it up, studying the face smiling brightly as Caroline kissed her cheek. Sally had dark black skin with short curly hair and light brown eyes. She was dressed in a red flowered blouse and had a brown leather band wrapped below the hand holding Caroline’s cheek. Caroline was smiling as she planted the kiss, blue eyes closed, blonde hair whipping around her face in the breeze. They looked so happy together. 

Gail’s gut rolled, and she put the picture back down on the tabletop, pushing it back towards Traci.

“They found them in the backroom,” Traci said, picking the picture up to place back in her pocket. “They were sandwiched between two crates. Manager found them on final check when they were closing. Caroline was breathing, but Sally was…”

Gail pushed the plate of food away from her. She wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Gail…” Traci’s eyes pinged from the plate to the blonde’s face.

“It’s ok, Trace,” Gail insisted swallowing the lump rising in her throat. “I asked. I want to know. It’s just…hard. Everything recently has just….”

A sharp ring made them both jump interrupting her mid sentence. Traci scrambled to get it out of her jacket pocket. 

“Nash.”

Gail averted her eyes and took a deep calming breath. Why had she been about to tell Traci about all the things in her life falling apart recently? What good would that have done to let her friend know how the world had tripped her up thrown her so many curve balls she didn’t know what to do? She blanched at the metaphor. She hated baseball. 

It was the clinging of silverware that brought Gail’s attention back across the table. Traci had stood so suddenly she had knocked against the table. Gail grabbed at her water glass to make sure it wouldn’t topple off. 

“We’ll be right there,” Traci said. Her eyes were wide before they harden and her jaw set, teeth grinding. It was a look Gail was familiar with. Growing up with cops as your parents, she had seen this look hundreds, if not thousands of times. 

She stood as well, taking out her wallet and throwing enough down on the table to cover the bill with tip. She didn’t have to know yet what was going on, just that they needed to get out of there fast from the look on Traci’s face. 

It wasn’t until they got to Traci’s car that Gail even found the words to ask, “What’s happened now?”

Traci gripped the steering wheel tightly. “The Chief.”

Gail swallowed hard. Caroline’s father had been like a second father to her. He was her godfather after all, her father’s most trusted friend and all of their bosses. “What about him?”

When Traci turned to Gail, it sent a chill down her spine. There was fear behind those dark eyes. A fear she hadn’t seen since Jerry. “He was attacked. They’re thinking it’s personal. They’re thinking…”

Gail nodded so fast her head hurt. She knew what that meant. She knew that after Caroline and now the Chief getting attacked that anyone with relationship with them was in danger. That meant her and that meant Steve. 

Gail reached over and gripped Traci’s shoulder briefly. “He’s ok.”

From the look Traci gave her, she knew she wasn’t talking about the Chief of Police. 

Traci let out a shaky breath. “I know. I’m just…”

“Easily spooked? I think you have a right to be,” Gail said, her mind now flew back to her godfather. “Is he…I mean is Roy ok?”

Traci sent her a confused look. 

“The Chief…he’s my godfather.” She shifted in her chair. After all the grief she had gotten as a rookie over her police connections it was hard to shake that feeling now. 

“Oh, Gail, I’m so sorry. I should have known…I should have…He’s fine. He’s in the hospital. Someone tried to strangle him from behind. All I know is he managed to fight them off. They escaped through a window in the Murphy home.”

A jolt of fear ran through Gail. “And Renee? His wife? Caroline’s mom?”

Traci shook her head. “She’s fine. She wasn’t even home.”

Gail exhaled. The tension building in her shoulders released a little. Everyone was ok. Everyone was ok, and being hunted down and almost killed. If she could call that ok, then everyone was peachy. 

They didn’t even have to ask the nurse what room when they got to the floor. Gail could hear Chief Roy Murphy’s strong deep voice from down the hall, along side a resounding crash that sent both Gail and Traci into the room guns drawn. 

Chief Murphy was sprawled on the floor, IV stand turned over, tube tangled around his body. Two nurses and an orderly were trying in vain to help him up and back into bed, but he was thrashing them off of him.

“Chief!” Gail shouted, after holstering her weapon. 

Murphy looked up and blinked. He rose to his feet of his own volition with the help of the bed. His IV tube was still wrapped around his body. “Gaily! Finally someone to talk sense into these people!”

“Sir, I think it’s best if you listen to them. You were injured.” She could see the red marks around his neck. It was already starting to bruise. 

He scoffed, and tugged at his IV line. “Nonsense, Peck, I’ve got to go see my daughter!”

Gail reached out to stop him from pulling out the needle. “Caroline is fine. I saw her last night.”

For a man injured and on pain meds, he was pretty strong. He managed to push Gail away and begin ripping at the needle site again. “FINE!? She’s not fine! She’s…she’s…” He leaned down into Gail’s face and snarled, “…an abomination.”

The words were a dagger in Gail’s gut. This was a man she had admired her whole life, a man she had looked up to as family, and he was telling her that his own daughter and subsequently Gail were wrong. 

The nurses and orderlies had the good nature at least to look shocked. Traci had a wide-eyed expression, which pinged between from the man who was essentially her boss’s boss’s boss and Gail. 

 

Gail felt her whole body steel itself, like armor clinking into place. She squared her shoulders and stood as tall as she could. “There is nothing abominable about your daughter.”

His eyes narrowed as he stopped what he was doing to stare at her. “What was that, Peck?”

“I said,” she repeated with a deep breath. “That there is nothing wrong with your daughter. She fell in love, that’s all.”

“That’s all? THAT’S ALL?” He was screaming now so close his spit flew onto her face, but she didn’t dare back down to wipe it off. She would stand up for her friend, for herself. 

“Yes, that’s all,” she assured him. 

“Are you a dyke too then little Gaily? You and my daughter been fucking all these years? That it? You were the one who put these devilish thoughts into my child’s mind?” He was so loud that the security guard down the hall was called. He stood by the door, unsure what to do in the face of an armed officer and detective facing down with the injured Chief of Police. “You a lesbian?”

She flinched at the word, still not comfortable enough with it when being referred to herself. She had had that word thrown at her before in the past, used in a way that dyke had never been. It was a weapon, a label that shot her into another category, the other category. In all of human history, no one ever has good things coming to them when they’re stuck in the other category. 

“So what if I am, sir? What does that matter?” She forced the words out of her mouth, feeling both a mixture of terror and triumph.

“GET OUT!” 

The amounts of drugs they must have given him were clearly affecting his political brain. As an elected official to scream such a stance in Canada of all places in front of witnesses was a shot to your voting pool. Gail felt the words blasting through all the memories of her childhood with him. They were ruined, tainted now with the image of him screaming at her, the sounds of his accusations, the hate she could feel he held towards her. 

So she did it. She left. 

She went down the hall to the bank of elevators, and up one floor, before finding herself once again sitting in that chair starring at her friend unconscious in bed. The beeping of her heart monitor did nothing to slow the thundering of Gail’s own heart in her chest. She imagined this is what marathons felt like. 

“Your dad is a real dick, Cary,” Gail told her friend. It felt comforting just to sit here and lament aloud even if she couldn’t hear her. “He’s a fucking dick, and I hate him. I hate him for you, and I hate him for me. How fucking dare he? What year is this!?”

Gail growled and pushed the heels of her hands into her burning betraying eyes. “I just…can’t he just realize that it’s not something you choose, ya know? It’s a smashing, crashing hurricane of a force that bowls you over, throws you for a loop, but in the end, you come back to because you’ve never experienced something so thrilling, so enticing, so much of everything you have ever wanted in life. To the point where nothing else matters than the feeling you get when she is there. You don’t mind how dizzy it makes you because you pick that one clear spot out in the darkness and that spot is her. So no matter how many times you spin, you always come back to her, and she steadies you, your anchor.”  
 She reaches forward and takes Caroline’s hand in her own. “I understand. I…met someone, someone who is everything I never knew I needed. She makes me a better person by just the way she looks at me. But, as usual, I royally fucked it up.”

She imagined Caroline rolling her eyes at her and asking in an exasperated tone, What did you do?

Gail shrugged, even though she hadn’t actually asked. “I ran away.”

Typical.

“Tell me about it.”

Leaning forward, she brushed the hair out of the other girl’s face, laying a kiss to her forehead. “I’m so sorry about Sally. I would have loved to have met her.”

“She was a nice girl.” The voice by the door made Gail jump. Every nerve ending in her body reacted as though they were all called to attention by a drill sergeant. 

Elaine Peck marched into the room as quietly as she had snuck in through the door. “Abigail.”

Gail glowered at her mother. They hadn’t been on speaking terms since the Superintendent’s little attempt at a therapy session back in New York. They disagreed that sending a trauma victim into a room full of people while putting their trauma up on the screen for all to see was not a proper way for her to confront her feelings. Then again Gail doubted her mother saw her as a victim, just another cop who failed at her job. 

“Mother,” she said ice cold. She was afraid of how much she had overheard of Gail’s little speech. Why had she been so fucking stupid to say it all out loud when Caroline wasn’t even there to hear her?

“I heard you had an altercation with Roy,” her mother began, her eyes never leaving Caroline’s still body. 

Gail nodded stiffly. “He started it.”

“Mature.” 

Grinding her teeth to prevent herself from saying anything, Gail remained silent, observing as her mother’s calculating mind worked. 

“He does have a way of sticking his foot in his mouth,” Elaine finally said with a deep sigh. Gail was surprised at the look her mother shot her, one she knew was mirrored on her own face when a perp or one of the boys did something especially stupid. “He was always rather bigoted man. How he managed to get his position is frightening to say the least.”

“But…” Gail was confused. They were friends. Chief Murphy was her godfather. 

“Oh, he wasn’t always this outspoken about them, but over time in old age, one tends to get less concerned about the thoughts of others. Haven’t you noticed how your father and he no longer speak unless absolutely essential to work?”

Gail felt like a fish, mouth opening and closing but nothing coming out. 

Elaine studied her for a moment, before her eyes darted back to Caroline. “I had wished for Caroline that her coming out would have softened his stances on such things, but it has only hardened him it seems.”

“You knew!?” Gail exclaimed incredulously. How had her mother known and she not?

“Oh, don’t sound so offended, Gail,” her mother said. “I ran into Caroline and Ms. Sanders at a restaurant. I came to my own conclusions as to their relationship. I am a police officer, after all.”

“And you’re…okay with her?” Gail flinched in anticipation.

Elaine laughed. “Of course, I am. Your father as well. Being gay doesn’t change a person. She’s still Caroline, and you make sure you tell her when she wakes up that she will always be welcome at our home whenever she wants. Holidays included.”

Gail could feel a huge weight lifting off her chest, while the pressure behind her eyes doubled. If her mother didn’t leave soon, she was going to cry in front of her, and there would be some explaining to do. 

Elaine came back around the bed, placing a calming hand on Gail’s shoulder. “She has nothing to be ashamed of.”

With a gentle squeeze, Elaine left. The dam behind Gail’s eyes broke and she sobbed. The words of acceptance, which had come from her mother’s mouth, were ones she hadn’t realize she had needed to hear up until this moment. No matter how Gail felt about her mother at any given moment, she would always seek her approval in every aspect of her life, whether she wanted to or not. Hearing that her feelings towards Holly wouldn’t be another way she failed the Peck name filled her with more emotions than she could handle. 

When finally the tears had subsided, she reached for her phone and dialed the only number that made any sense. 

“Hello?”

Gail took a deep breath to steady her voice. “Hey. What’re you doing tonight?”


	15. Chapter 15

It had been awhile since someone touched her. Really touched her. But with Holly, it was so easy. She was so close to her, hair slick and pulled back from her make-up free face. Gail felt electric from her fingertips to her toes, her hands wrapping around the other woman’s waist. 

Moments ago, Gail had stood outside the door of Holly’s apartment, bouncing on the tips of her toes. Should she knock? Holly was expecting her to, but was this healthy? Could she continue like this with the woman who sent a fire through her with just a simple glance?

“Are you planning on knocking?” a muffled voice came from the other side of the door. 

Gail jumped, and blushed, bashful at being caught. “I was…thinking about it.”

“And the verdict?” 

Gail looked to the peephole where she was sure Holly was watching her. Gail bit her lip, raising her hand to knock, but before she could the door opened. 

Holly stood there with a wry smile. “Hi, stranger. Thought I heard someone sulking about in my hall.”

Gail scowled. “I was not sulking!”

“Are you coming in or not?” Holly held the door open, letting Gail take a look at the sparse space within. 

Gail decided since she came all this way she should at least come inside. Clutching the tequila in her arms tightly, she stepped inside. 

There were papers strewn all over the living room, on the small coffee table, the make shift desk in the corner which was really supposed to be a kitchen table, on parts of the couch. The only place untouched was the television which sat on the floor. Nothing else made up the space. No pictures on the wall. No real personal touches to be found. 

“Uh, Hols?” Gail said, toeing off her shoes. “Ever heard of furniture?”

Holly shrugged. “It’s temporary living.”

Gail swallowed hard, disappointment hitting her chest hard. “Oh, right. Ottowa.”

Holly nodded, avoiding her eye. “Where I actually live.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

Two minutes here and already she’d caused this awkward air between them. 

“Sorry,” Gail said quietly, taking another few steps into the apartment.

“What’re you apologizing for?” Holly asked, placing a calming hand on Gail’s shoulder.

Gail shrugged. “Everything.”

And then before Gail could react, arms closed around her, and she was being pulled into a hug. Her stomach flip-flopped. She pressed her face into the crook of Holly’s neck, and for once, allowed herself to be held. All the tension building in her body dissipated, flowing from her muscles as though Holly had washed them away. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Gail,” Holly whispered. Her lips were so close to Gail’s ear. Every breath made Gail shiver. 

Gail nodded, mumbling into Holly’s shoulder. “I’m not sure that’s true.”

Holly pulled back, hands coming up to cup Gail’s face. Her thumbs ran along Gail’s cheekbones lightly. “Hey…”

Whatever Holly was gonna say was lost as Gail leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Holly started, and Gail immediately backed away. 

“Now I do.”

Gail pushed past the stunned Holly, and made her way to the kitchen. She took a moment, gripping the counter tightly to recover. That was stupid, but she couldn’t say she regretted it. She never regretted kissing Holly. 

She didn’t turn as Holly came into the kitchen behind her. Instead she went to a cabinet and opened it in search of glasses. It was empty. Next one over, same thing. 

Finally, she turned to the other woman. “Do you even live here?”

Holly laughed, heading over to the cabinet above the coffee maker. Inside was one coffee cup, a bowl, and a single glass. 

“That’s all your dishes?” Gail asked incredulously.

“I don’t…”

“Live here, right,” Gail said with a huff. She marched over pulling out the cup and glass. She took hold of the tequila bottle and poured them each at double shots worth. She held hers up. “Bottoms up.”

She clinked her cup with Holly’s glass, though Holly hadn’t picked hers up, before downing the liquid. It burned its way down her throat, cleansing the hurt spreading from her heart. 

She knew Holly was going to leave eventually, but she had gotten herself into this situation anyway. 

Holly took a sip of the tequila and blanched. “God, how do you even stand this stuff?”

Gail smirked, finishing her shot. “Practice and determination.”

Holly shook her head, but still finished the shot, pushing the glass towards Gail for a refill. “You’re a bad influence.”

“That’s it, Lunchbox,” she said, pouring Holly and herself another. “Drink up.”

Holly smiled. “If I didn’t know any better, Officer, I’d think you were trying to get me drunk.”

“Well…” Gail said, holding out her cup for them to clink. “I did enjoy the last time.”

Holly laughed. Really laughed. Gail smiled in relief. They seemed to always be able to fall back into easy banter. 

There was a knock at the door.

Gail looked to Holly. “Expecting someone else?”

Holly smiled, but didn’t answer as she went to meet whoever was on the other side. Gail stayed where she was, wondering who on earth Holly could have coming over. She couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed that the other woman had felt they’d needed a buffer to be in the same room. Though then again, Gail just kissed her so maybe the buffer was needed to keep Gail in control of herself.

Holly returned then, carting two full bags. The scent hit Gail as Holly set them on the counter. 

“You got Chinese!” Gail exclaimed lunging at one of the bags.

Holly laughed at her enthusiasm. “You sounded like you were having a rough day, so I figured the way to Gail Peck’s heart is through food.”

Gail was already stuffing an egg roll into her mouth. “And you would be right.”

They spent the next half hour eating the substantial amount of food Holly had ordered. Gail had snuck herself an extra egg roll while Holly very obviously pretended not to notice. The banter flowed between them easily as it had when they first met. 

When Gail told a joke, Holly leaned over in her laughter, gripping the hand Gail had on the counter. Instead of pulling away, as she should, Gail threaded their fingers together. 

“I think…” Gail started, the words catching in her throat. 

Holly didn’t pull away. She stroked the side of Gail’s hand with her thumb. “You think?”

Gail swallowed, forcing out the words. “I think I’m going to tell my mother.”

There was a long second where Holly’s face went from confusion to realization to awe and then even a bit of fear. “You mean about…?”

“Me. How I like women,” Gail said, eyes casting down to their joined hands. “How I like one woman in particular.”

Holly slipped her hand from Gail’s. She grabbed their empty plates, moving them to the sink. She leaned up against it, gripping the edges of the counter as she let out a long sigh. Gail knew she shouldn’t have said it, but she was done lying to herself about what, or rather who she wanted. She had said she wanted to win Holly back, and this was a step towards doing so. 

“Gail, I thought we talked about this,” Holly said her back facing the other woman. 

“No, you talked. I listened. I’m giving you your space,” Gail said, standing from her stool.

Holly turned, making a sweeping motion with her hands. “You call this space?”

“I…,” Gail started to say. Her voice dropped with her eyes as she admitted, “I needed you, okay? My godfather, it turns out, is a super huge homophobe, and Caroline is still in a coma, and my mother is being oddly accepting of Caroline being a lesbian, and I’m just overwhelmed Holly. I needed someone. I needed you. That’s…people aren’t there for me, you know? I don’t know how to ask for people. It’s not something that was in my Peck training guide. Peck’s don’t need help. Peck’s survive on their own.” 

Arms encircled her once again, pulling her into the comfort of Holly’s embrace. She took a few calming deep breathes. That was a lot to confess in one fell swoop, but then again Holly made her admit things she wasn’t used to admitting. 

“You don’t need to survive on your own anymore,” Holly whispered. “You’ll always have me. No matter what, okay?”

Gail nodded. She closed her eyes, pressing her face against Holly’s collar. 

They stay like that, until Holly ushers them over to the couch with the promise of crappy TV. They start off on opposite ends, watching as Tyra Banks criticizes a model who bursts into tears. Eventually though as another episode passed and then another, Gail ended up stretched across the couch, her head in Holly’s lap. Holly’s hands stroke through her hair, absently as her attention is caught up in Ms. J demonstrating a strut walk. 

Gail turns onto her back so she can look up at Holly. The movement makes Holly glance down and smile at her. 

“Tell me something,” Gail implores. 

Holly mutes the TV. “Like what?”

Gail shrugs. “Something about yourself. You know everything about me, but I don’t know very much about you.” 

“I’m not that interesting,” Holly deflects, obviously uncomfortable. 

Gail pokes her side. “Come on, please. What’s your family like?”

“I…I don’t really have one,” Holly admits, avoiding Gail’s eyes. 

“What?” Gail sits up. Holly shifts away a bit as Gail turns to face her fully. 

“Well, there’s a foster brother I’m rather close to, but no blood relations if that’s what you mean.” Holly picks at her nails instead of looking at Gail.

“What…what happened?”

Holly shrugs. “Usual story: abandoned at a hospital, bounced around from shitty foster home to shitty foster home, never really found a family who wanted me,” Holly said, “Your basic sob story.”

The crooked smile across her face showed the sadness behind those words. She was trying not to show it, but it still bothered her. 

Gail took Holly’s hands in her own, threading their fingers together. “So you worked your way out?”

Holly nodded. “Pretty much. I worked as hard as I could to get scholarships to college so I wouldn’t end up broke and alone and on the street. Though I did a short stint at homelessness.”

“You were homeless?” 

“For a while, only like a year. It’s kind of a shock when the system drops you after you’re 18. I mean I knew it was going to happen, but nothing really prepares you for it.”

“So what do you do for holidays and your birthday?” Gail asked. It made her feel childish, but to imagine Holly spending Christmas or her birthday in the morgue alone made her ache to draw her in even more. 

Holly shrugged. “I have friends. Over the years, they’ve taken up the slack.” 

“Good. I don’t want you to be alone.”

Holly smiled. “You know you’re not alone too, right?”

“I have a family.”

“You know what I mean.”

Gail nodded, taking Holly once again into her arms. They stayed like that wrapped into each other, feeling every breath the other person takes. The air around them was thick, shifting, as they pulled apart. Their eyes met, and they were kissing. 

It was languid like they had all the time in the world. Hands gripped at backs, entangling in hair. Mouths and lips and teeth and tongue clashed. It could have been forever or just a few moments before Holly pulled back. 

“Sorry,” Gail muttered, getting up and heading straight for the bathroom. Would it be rude to jump straight into a cold shower?

Holly watched her go from her position on the couch. Gail didn’t want to know the thoughts running through her head. None of them were probably good. 

She shut the door behind her, and clutched the sink. Her reflection stared back at her, judging. What was she thinking? She knew better than this. It was a mistake all around for her to come here, but with Holly around, so close, her restraint just wouldn’t hold. She was getting the feeling Holly’s wasn’t either. They were magnets. One of them needed to be removed from the situation, and Gail, for the mean time, knew it needed to be her.

After washing her face, she opened the bathroom under the full intention to leave. But as she came upon the living room, she was stopped in her tracks. 

Candles lit the space, balancing on every surface that once held paper. Soft music was playing, the beat thrumming through the air hitting Gail in her chest against her already racing heart. 

There, leaning against the door to the bedroom, Holly stood, haloed in light, fiddling with the buttons of her dress shirt. Beneath it, her red lace bra and black panties peaked from between the edges. 

Gail’s mouth went dry, opening on its own accord. She tried to form words, a sentence, even a thought, but all that she came up with was how fast could she could get Holly out of that button down. A few buttons might be harmed, but it was a worthy cause. 

Holly took a few steps towards her. A button went. 

Gail swallowed. “Am I…is this a dream?”

The throaty laugh from Holly sent heat straight through Gail. Another button. “No. This is very real.”

She was in arm’s reach now. Gail could see the rib tattoo. Second to last button. “What about distance?”

Holly was so close now. Heat radiated from her, warming Gail’s pale skin. “Fuck distance.”

The last button went along with Gail’s restraint. Her hands slipped between the opening and around Holly’s waist. She nodded. “Fuck distance.”

Their lips met, rough and urgent. Hands pushed at fabric. 

Holly’s shirt tumbled off her shoulders, but Gail pulled it to trap Holly’s hands against her side. Holly watched her, but didn’t make a move to pull herself free. 

The wood bit into Gail’s knees as she sunk to the floor. Her lips found purchase on the smooth skin of Holly’s stomach, looping her tongue into the navel. Holly’s breath caught. Her hands went to Gail’s hair, but Gail tugged the shirt pinning them once again to Holly’s side. 

“Patience,” Gail whispered, her hot breath prickling Holly’s skin, the thin hairs on her stomach standing on end. 

Holly groaned. “Is this penitence?” 

Gail pressed a kiss against the edge of her underwear line, tracing the atom tattoo around and underneath the fabric. Holly bucked forward sharply, but Gail pulled her back again with a tug of the shirt. 

“Have you been bad, Lunchbox?”

Holly let out a breathy laugh. “Lunchbox, really? Right now?”

Gail smiled up at her. “Would you like me to stop and bring us to a more appropriate situation to call you that?”

Her head shook quickly. “That won’t be necessarily.”

Gail pushed herself up off the floor. Pulling Holly towards her, their faces were close. The want filled her, consumed her. Just being this close to Holly made every wall, every restraint she had built crumble down around them. All the reasons they shouldn’t do this were now dust on the floor. All that was left was the two of them staring into each other’s eyes. 

Holly leaned forward to kiss her, but Gail pulled back. She brought her hand up, cupping Holly’s cheek. Her thumb traced along Holly’s bottom lip slowly, back and forth. 

“You sure you don’t want to behave?”

Gail didn’t expect Holly to take her thumb into her mouth, running her tongue over the pad. The look in her eyes told Gail all she needed to know about what Holly wanted. There was a hunger looking at her, desire. Pupils dilated. The dark color of Holly’s eyes was almost black with want. 

As their lips met again, Gail guided them towards Holly’s bedroom. Pressing Holly against the door, her mouth descended down the glorious neck on display as Holly’s head fell back. She nipped the skin at Holly’s pulse point, causing a low moan and her hands to try to find purchase on Gail’s back.

Gail pulled back, tugging at the shirt. Holly groaned. 

“Now, now, no touchie.”

“Gail...” Holly was panting. 

“Holly…” 

She mouthed at the nipples underneath the red bra, erect through the thin fabric. Holly’s breathing became more erratic. Her hands spasmed, trying not to touch her, but involuntarily attempting to anyway. 

“Did you wear this just for me?” Gail asked, against the skin of Holly’s collarbone. “Was this under your clothes when you answered the door?”

Holly whimpered as Gail’s hand finally let go of the shirt to brush against her clit through her underwear. Holly gripped at Gail’s back, her other hand pinned against the door. Hips pushed against hips. Breasts brushed against each other. 

Gail took Holly’s ear into her mouth, running her tongue along the edge. “Were you planning this since I called you?”

Holly swallowed, shaking her head. 

“No?”

Holly shook her head again. “Since we met.”

And with that, she pivoted her hips, pulling Gail with the hand clawing against her back. Taking Gail by surprise, Holly slammed her against the door, switching their positions in almost an instant. 

She let the shirt finally drop to the floor, and grabbed Gail’s wrists, forcing them above her head. 

“My turn,” she said, grinning wickedly. 

She pressed against her as they kissed, dirty and sloppy in their urgency to touch one another. Gail’s arms fell from overtop her head to claw at Holly’s back, digging her blunt nails into the bare skin and dragging them along the edges of Holly’s bra. 

“Off,” Holly commanded against Gail’s lips. 

Gail fumbled for a moment with the clasp, but soon it popped open and Holly stepped back to let it fall to the floor. She stood proudly before Gail, allowing the blonde to take in the newly exposed skin. The curve of her breasts, the pertness of her nipples was all there for Gail’s pleasure. 

Gail licked her lips. 

With a wicked smile, Holly opened the door, and disappeared into the darkness within. Gail hesitated. If she went in there, there would be no return. She would be lost in the other woman. The aching feeling in her chest would only grow stronger. But if Holly were to return to Ottawa never to be seen again, she might just break inside. 

It was a gamble, and Gail had never seen the sense in betting what she couldn’t afford to lose. 

She took a step back. Her chest felt heavy, tears burned at her eyes. Fuck. What had she done?

Ruined.

“Gail?”


	16. Chapter 16

“Gail?”

Gail stopped, hand frozen on the doorknob. There was such defeat in Holly’s voice, but also something else, exasperation maybe, as if she had expected this all along. 

“Gail, please.” 

It was now or never. 

Don’t look back. Gail squeezed her eyes shut. Just don’t look back. She twisted the knob. 

She jumped and froze as a hand came to brush lightly against her back. The gentle caress eased at the tension in her shoulders, muscles uncoiling under Holly’s fingers. 

Gail leaned her forehead heavily against the door, the cool wood contrasting against the warmth of Holly’s body close behind her. “I don’t want to ruin this.”

“Then why are you running?” Holly answered softly. “You can’t just run every time you’re afraid. One day someone will have to worth sticking around for, someone worth the risk. I had…I had just hoped it would have been me.”

“You are, Holly,” she snapped, gritting her teeth, “but you don’t live here. You’ll leave soon. You’ll leave me. I’m the one who isn’t worth sticking around for. I know that.” It was her deepest fear splayed out like a reopened wound that never truly healed. It played in the back of her mind with any relationship. She’d been burned so many times before, all she knew was loss, regret. No one ever stayed. 

Holly stepped forward, pressing Gail into the door so their bodies were flush with one another. Her hands ran across Gail’s back and down her sides. Gail shivered as lips ghosted along her spine right between Gail’s shoulder blades. “What if I didn’t leave?”

Gail huffed. Though with the way her body was reacting, it probably looked more like a shudder. “What?” 

Holly’s hand squeezed at her waist, urging Gail to turn around. When she did, they were so close she could see the blown out pupils of Holly’s eyes and her sincere shy smile. She bit her bottom lip. “They’ve offered me the position. I could take it now. I could live here. If you gave me a reason to stay.”

Gail swallowed, her throat suddenly tight with all the hope and expectations that promise would bring. Her head rocked against the wood, trying to shake them away. They would only end up disappointing her in the end. Just like all the other times.

“You don’t believe me?” Holly asked, running a finger across Gail’s cheek to draw her attention. 

When they locked eyes, Gail knew the cynical doubt was plain on her face from the way Holly’s tiny smile drooped. “Why would you pick up your life?” For me.

Holly’s grip was suddenly firm, cupping the bottom of Gail’s chin making sure to have her undivided attention. There was fierceness in Holly’s eyes Gail hadn’t seen before. It was almost possessive. “I choose you, Gail Peck.”

Gail’s heart stuttered to a halt. Everything she’d ever wanted to hear from her lover, Holly had said in three simple words. 

Letting go of Gail’s chin, Holly cupped her cheeks gently. Gone was the possessiveness replaced by softness Gail was afraid to name. “Let me choose you, Gail. Let me lo…”

Gail surged forward, crashing their lips together hard enough to make Holly whimper. Their teeth knocked against each other. Hands pushed at clothing as they stumbled their way through the living room, back down the same path they had traveled only a short time before. 

They crashed through Holly’s bedroom door, both now clad in only their underwear, not separating until Holly’s knees knocked against the edge of the mattress. She fell back, limbs and hair splayed. 

Gail stood above her, hungry eyes running over tanned skin cataloguing all the places she would run her tongue over. All the places she wanted to bite and mark. The ways she would claim Holly. She had never felt quite as greedy with lover as she did of Holly.

“You can touch, you know. You were doing a pretty good job of that before,” Holly remarked with a smirk. She pushed up to prop herself on her forearms. 

“Oh yeah?” Gail said, hands running up and down Holly’s thighs. 

Holly hummed at the sensation or maybe in answer. Either way, her head fell back with the sound, exposing her long neck, pulse point ripe for taking between Gail’s lips. Gail did just that, mouth nipping and sucking against the thudding heartbeat. 

Her tongue swirled along the line of neck up to Holly’s jaw. When she reached her ear, she ran her tongue along the edge before blowing cool air along the same path. Holly shuddered. 

“Does this make you mine, Holly Stewart?” Gail whispered hotly into Holly’s ear. She pulled at Holly’s knees to draw her closer. Holly moaned as Gail’s nails dug dully into her skin. “Do you want to be mine?”

“God, Gail,” Holly groaned, eyes shut, head flung back, exposed. Gail had never seen anything more beautiful. 

“Is that a yes?” Gail’s nails dragged their way up to Holly’s panty line. She traced the lace, waiting for answer. “Yes or no, Holly?”

Holly’s head snapped forward, their eyes locking. Want swirled inside those dark brown eyes, pressing heavy against Gail’s chest. “I’m yours, Gail. All yours.”

Gail kissed her hard. Holly gripped at her face, at her back, clutching her as Gail’s hand trailed to the wet spot gathering against the fabric of Holly’s underwear. She pressed her fingers against it, drawing lazy teasing patterns. 

“Fuck,” Holly muttered against her lips. She let out a whimper when Gail drew back, trying to pull her back in. 

Gail untangled herself from Holly’s arms, pushing her back against the bed. Their bodies were flush. Drawing both wrists above her head, Gail looked directly into Holly’s eyes as she commanded, “Stay.”

She didn’t let go until she was sure Holly understood what she was telling her. Only when she nodded did Gail draw back. Hooking her hands under Holly’s legs, she pulled her to the edge of the bed and dropped to her knees on the carpet. Holly gasped when she realized Gail’s intent. 

She nipped her way along Holly’s thighs until she reached her underwear. Her tongue dipped along the inside seam under the lace. Holly’s hands wrapped into her own hair as she groaned.

“Gail, please…” Holly whined.

Gail took pity on her, drawing the garment daringly slow down her long legs. Standing back up, she hooked the underwear around Holly’s wrists twisting them into makeshift handcuffs. 

“I told you to stay,” Gail said, pecking Holly’s lips briefly before she was back down on the floor in front of her. 

She threw those long legs over her shoulders and took in the sight of Holly laid bare for her. The scent of her arousal was overwhelming. Her thighs slick and glistening with want. 

When Gail leaned forward to run her tongue along her folds, Holly’s whole body jerked upwards. Gail couldn’t wait, pushing her tongue inside Holly. Holly moaned, wrists pulling at their soft restraints.

Gail dragged her tongue flat up to her clit to flick at the small bundle of nerves. Holly’s moans turned to high-pitched whimpers as Gail took her clit into her mouth, rolling it between her lips. 

“Inside, God, please,” Holly muttered. 

Two fingers thrust inside her, curling and pumping. Holly’s back arched off the bed. The fingers of Gail’s free hand dug at Holly’s thighs, trying to control her movements as her hips flung wildly with every thrust of finger, every flick of her tongue. Heels dug into Gail’s back, thighs closing around her cheeks. Hands finally gave up the pretense of staying put to tangle into blonde hair. Holly’s cries grew louder and louder, her body growing more taunt, attempting to rise higher and higher from the bed. 

And then she fell. The entirety of her body uncoiled like a released spring. Tension eased around Gail’s head as Holly’s legs fell limp. Gail lapped at the wetness pooling at Holly’s sex, the attention sending tingles through Holly’s body making her twitch and jerk with the aftershocks. After the muscles around Gail’s fingers stopped pulsing, she withdrew them, taking their slickness into her mouth. 

Holly watched her through hoodie eyes as her tongue swirled to gather up every last bit. If she had any doubts at all in her mind before, the sight of Holly sweaty and satisfied would be enough to settle any lingering doubts. Gail wanted to see this every day for the rest of her life. 

“You’re entirely too smug for someone with cum dripping off their chin,” Holly mumbled, eyes still closed, mouth fighting to contain her smile. 

“I think I’m exactly the right amount of smug for someone with cum dripping from their chin,” Gail remarked, leaning over Holly, “Wanna taste?” 

She didn’t wait for answer before she kissed her, tongue slipping between Holly’s lips. They tangled themselves in each other, kissing lazy and slow. Gail’s hands ran over Holly’s still bra clad breasts, giving a tiny squeeze, reveling in the low rumbling moan it brought out of her. 

Holly’s own hands clawed at Gail, struggling against thin fabric of the underwear, which bound them. She pulled at it, raising her eyebrow at Gail. 

Gail snagged a finger, tugging at them. “Oh you want these off?”

“Gail...,” Holly growled.  
Gail’s smirk covered Holly’s scowl as they kissed. Holly’s hands cupped under Gail’s chin. She forced her head back. “Please, Gail.”

Gail released her hands, throwing the underwear onto the floor somewhere over her shoulder. Her hands moved on to skim along the band of Holly’s bra, grazing her rib tattoo on its way to the clasp, when Holly reached out and stopped her. Holly was staring at her with serious thoughtful eyes. 

It made Gail squirm. “What?”

“Do you believe me?” 

“Believe what?” 

“That I’m choosing you? That I want to be with you.”

Gail hummed, pulling at Holly’s legs to turn her long ways on the bed. Holly crawled the little ways up to collapse against her pillow. Gail lay down beside her. Taking one hand into her own, she absently spread the tips of her nails from the center of Holly’s palm out to the pads of her fingers and back again. 

Holly watched her, still waiting for an answer, but allowing Gail, as she always seem to, the time to think it through. 

“I want to,” Gail said quietly after a moment. 

Threading their fingers together, Holly gave her hand squeeze of reassurance. “I’ll prove I’m not going anywhere everyday until you believe me.” 

Gail couldn’t stop the smile curling across her lips. “Oh, really?”

Holly nodded, pushing her back against the pillows and straddling her waist. “I think I’ll start right now.”

Holly leaned down to press their lips together. Her hands ghosted along Gail’s ribs to slip down the cups of Gail’s bra. Gail gasped as Holly took her nipple into her mouth, the other between her fingers. 

A leg fell between Gail’s, thigh rocking against her center. Holly moaned at the slickness she found there. The sound rumbled against Gail’s stomach, the feeling mixed with Holly’s tongue on her nipple had Gail clawing at Holly’s hair. Her fingers tangled in the locks, pulling her sharply up so their lips could meet. It was messy and rough and only spurred Gail’s thrust. Her hands found purchase on Holly’s ass nails digging sharply into the skin there, making Holly hiss. 

Gail could feel the tension building in her stomach, warmth gathering with each meeting of thigh to sex. She knew after such a long time, such wanting that they should take their time, let herself be worshipped, and she could see that feeling reflecting in Holly’s eyes. As the other woman tried to slow and pull away, it only spurred Gail to thrust her hips harder. Pulling at Holly’s ass, grinding herself on her leg, she couldn’t stop. Not with waves of desire clouding her judgment. 

With one more thrust, Gail’s hips rose, back arching, her high crashing over her. She moaned Holly’s name, gasping to catch her breath. Tremors shot down every nerve. She thought if she squinted hard enough she could see the universe in the back of her eyelids. Her body flung out so far into space she was seeing stars.

When finally her body settled and she could open her eyes, Holly was looking down at her softly. Gail smiled, lazy and sated, before Holly kissed her, once, twice, so gentle and soft that the thrill in Gail’s heart had very little to do with her orgasm. 

“Do you believe me now?” Holly asked.

Gail studied her, face open with such care and devotion she wasn’t sure how she could have doubted her. So she answered truthfully, “I’m think I’m beginning to.”

Holly pressed her lips hard against Gail’s, mumbling against her lips, “Let me prove it to you again.”

 

It might have been hours or days that they lay in bed, a tangle of limbs, enjoying each other in ways they had denied themselves for so long. Gail gazed down at the sleeping woman beside her, watching the rise and fall of her bare chest in the growing light filtering in from outside. 

It was early, too early to be awake, but Gail couldn’t stop herself from wanting to enjoy this feeling, wanting to believe it was real. Could she have this? Could she really be this happy all the time? Happiness was almost a foreign concept to Gail who had struggled to find her place with other people’s expectation of her. But when she looked into Holly’s eyes, all she saw was, well, love. 

Could this be love? Wasn’t it too soon for that? In the grand scheme of her life, Holly had made up a miniscule portion. But everything up until Holly had made sense. Everything up until Holly was her life going according to plan. After meeting Holly, her life was all chaos. 

But that wasn’t the whole truth was it? Her life had been a dull amalgamation of the expectation of her parents, the acquiescence of other people’s wills on her life. If anything meeting Holly had introduced to Gail the first thing in her life she really wanted to fight for, that she really wanted for herself. No one chose Holly for her. Holly was hers and hers alone. The idea sent a shiver through her spine. 

She was in love with Holly Stewart, the smart nerd who carried a lunchbox full of forensic equipment (and a cookie for a snack). 

The woman in question’s eyes fluttered open, head rolling to the side with a lazy smile. They widened as they caught sight of Gail, leaning against her arm as she watched her sleep. Gail felt a rush of guilt at the surprise she saw plainly in Holly’s eyes. She thought I’d run. 

Leaning down, she captured her lips in the hopes of conveying just how much leaving was not in her plans. They would never be in her plans again. She wasn’t ready per se to tell Holly of how intensely she felt for her, not yet, but she knew the feeling in her chest wouldn’t be able to stay there for long without sputtering out of her mouth. 

“Hi,” she whispered against bruised lips, taking them again into a slow, tired kiss. 

“Hi,” Holly said when she drew back. Her hand brushed at the hair falling into Gail’s face. 

They kissed again. Gail straddling Holly, hips grinding down against her stomach. At some point the night before, her underwear had been lost when long fingers had pushed inside her. Her wetness now was growing, spreading across Holly’s abs. 

Holly’s fingers pressed against Gail’s hipbones, urging her up. Gail pulled back, eyebrows rising in surprise and question. Only when Holly smirked, the pressing increasing, did Gail shuffle forward so her knees were on either side of Holly’s face. 

Her knuckles were white as she gripped the headboard in anticipation. She could feel Holly’s breath on against the inside of her thighs. Teeth nibbled their way up the sensitive skin. Nose brushed up, lips ghosting on her sex, hovering over her clit. 

“Holly, please,” she whined. She couldn’t take the wait-

She gasped, lurching forward with the first tentative swipe of Holly’s tongue. She could feel Holly’s smug smile against her thigh and a huffed out laugh. Gail couldn’t help but smile in return. That smile dropped when Holly leaned back in, tongue running from Gail’s entrance through her folds and back to circle her clit. Gail’s gripped tightened, head pitching forward to press against the wall behind the bed. Holly’s hands massaged Gail’s ass, fingers digging in a little too tightly in the hopes of controlling their growing thrusts. 

“Fuck,” Gail cursed, back bowing as she ground down into Holly’s mouth. There was a rushing sound in her ears like white noise the whole world cut out against the feel of Holly taking her. 

When fingers dragged along Gail’s backside down to her entrance, dipping one then two inside, scissoring, the warmth building in her stomach went taunt and snapped. Her body fell, literally and figuratively into Holly. Hands clawed at the wooden headboard. Her ears were ringing. Eyes flashed white. 

She crumpled where she was, partially over Holly, clutching onto the top of the bed for dear life. Holly was laughing. When finally she managed to collapse onto her side, she swatted at the other woman’s arm, only causing her laughter to grow. 

Gail’s eyes were closed when she felt the first kiss against her neck. She moaned, hands running through Holly’s hair as her hot mouth sucked at her pulse point. She needed to feel Holly again, feel her arching and moaning, unraveling from Gail’s attention.

Quicker than Holly could react, using her police training, Gail rolled out and overtop of Holly, pinning her front to the mattress. Her hips straddled Holly’s ass, just along the line of her DNA tattoo. But the new addition she saw stretching up the right side of Holly’s back, made her gasp. 

“Holly…” She reached a tentative hand towards the new ink, fingers grazing the image as though it might disappear if she pressed too firmly. 

Medusa stood tall and proud, billowing up from stone robes, eyes fierce and glowing, hair slithering alive. Held limply in one hand was a sword. In the other was an empty helmet. While Medusa herself was colored in dull greys and greens, the sword and helmet were painted bronze with splashes of bright red, the same bright red of Medusa’s glowing eyes. It was blood. It dripped down from the helmet to pool at the Gorgon’s feet. A curling ribbon around the image read: “Be Your Own Hero.”

Gail flashed back to that day at the Met when she had seen the statue of Perseus holding Medusa’s head like a trophy. The sickness she had felt knowing men like him would always be shown the hero where victims like Medusa would be labeled monsters. How they had sat with ice cream, the cold liquid dripping through Gail’s fingers as she confessed her worst nightmares to Holly. When she had told her she hadn’t felt like she was worth saving, her life not measuring up to Jerry’s loss. 

Holly turned her head to the side, straining to see Gail’s reaction. “I…I just…”

Gail lunged forward capturing her mouth in a heated kiss. The position was awkward, and Holly tried to turn over, but Gail shoved her back down. Her lips ran over the image, teeth scraping, and tongue tracing the words. Gail wanted to worship this beautiful image; the one Holly had marked on her own body, the one that claimed a bit of herself for Gail. 

Holly groaned as Gail explored, her back arching against the mattress. Ass thrust into Gail’s stomach. Gail pushed back against it, hand snaking around to brush Holly’s soaked center. They built a rhythm like that. Holly ground back against Gail as she pushed forward, her fingers circling Holly’s clit. Her mouth sucked along Holly’s back leaving red marking atop the already colored skin. 

The pace began to disintegrate. Holly’s head thrown back as Gail pounded against her. With a sharp bite against the word “Hero” and one last circle of her clit, Holly cried out, muscles tensing before going slack, her body falling forward. Knees wobbled with all of Holly’s weight no longer on them. 

Holly took in a ragged breath as her body shuttered with sweet aftershocks. “Jesus, Gail.”

Gail pressed her lips against the tattoo once again. This time more delicate and thoughtful, her fingers tracing the image mesmerized. 

“You got a tattoo for me,” Gail said softly in awe. No one had ever done something like that for her. Ever. There was a pressure in her chest, building behind her eyes. She thought it foolish to start crying over this, but it seemed inevitable. 

Holly buried her face into the pillow, her neck flushing. “I thought…I thought if I got it, if you were out there and needed the strength to come home. If you needed courage, somehow…it’s silly, but it was like being with you when I couldn’t be.”

Gail’s breath caught in her throat. She tugged at Holly’s shoulder, rolling her over so they were face to face. She stretched her body along the other woman’s, wanting to be as close as possible, touching in as many ways as they could be. 

Holly was avoiding her gaze, but when Gail whispered her name and they locked eyes, she saw the tears sliding down Gail’s face. Holly reached up, running her thumbs across her cheekbones to wipe them away. They kissed, languid and hot and felt like home. 

“I don’t think that’s silly at all,” Gail confessed, blue eyes staring into brown. 

“No?”

Gail felt the lump in her throat again. She shook her head. 

They kissed and made love until their eyes couldn’t stand to be open any longer, only waking when Gail’s cellphone went off. Traci. A break in the case. She had to go. Holly promised to call her boss. To put in the transfer so they could start thinking of the future together. 

With the promises of a future for the two of them, Gail felt the words filling her chest, threatening to pour out of her mouth. No. It was too soon to say them aloud. Instead, she kissed the words into Holly’s lips before leaving. 

It was only later staring down the barrel of a gun that Gail had wished she’d been brave enough to say them.


End file.
